B-TEAM 14TH MARCH '08

HI GUYS!!

Well we have now played the final game of the season which was Friday night away at the Marquis of Lorne. A fine 10-2 victory has left us finishing the season with a mid-table position and hoping for better things next year. A good start on Friday was provided by Oz and Hos and two further decent doubles performances saw us in a rather unusual position of 3-0 up. Fourth on was the yiddie/budgie combination of Steve (yiddo) Northfield and our own weatherman, Chubbsy. The later played a very tactical game by trying to lead the opposition into a (not too) false sense of security with throws of 5 and 3. This was followed by excellent counting as he deliberately (??) hit 36 to leave his partner a 170 finish. Steve however (being a bit Yiddish) must have still thought they were playing for the false sense of security as he stepped up with a fine score of 7 to manage not to leave his partner a finish. Unfortunately they went on to lose this game but we were still 3-1 up, a rare doubles victory for us. The team soon rallied with 6 straight singles wins until Ozzie (presumably still suffering a Carling Cup hangover) lost to make it 9-2. The last game of the night saw the one and only Pauly Gallagher, so surprised at a rare game in the singles that he forgot to bring his darts, step up to try for his first win of the season. With a dodgy set of arrows he had borrowed from yours truly, his first two throws for a starting double failed miserably, prompting me to remind him that my darts are only capable of hitting double 16. Next throw he was away (with 32) and proceeded to play very well down the board until he left 42. Time for another reminder about double 16 before Paul stepped up and finished in 2 darts after hitting a 10 with his first!

This left Paul with 1 win from 6 appearances this season and Wally claiming victory in the personal rivalry stakes with 4 from 10, although Paul was arguing the case for a reversal as he had lost less games!!

If any anoraks out there are sad enough to want the stats for the season, you need to get out more, but here they are:

Billy (Bungle) Bennett 11/25
Mark (Ozzie) Osborne 10/26
Dave (Tommo) Thomson 14/27
Tony (Quiff) Atkinson 19/26
Dave (Shoot-em-up) Stride 12/24
Mick (Wally) Wall 4/10
Steve (Action Man) Moyse 11/20
Shaun (Hos) Hoskin 7/18
Steve (Yiddo) Northfield 0/3
Paul (Gally) Gallagher 1/6
Colin (Chubbs) Crawford 3/7 (including the longest game ever seen in not involving Flatty)
Paul (needs a nickname) Tyler 10/25
Darren (King of Bahrain) King 0/1

I would like to say a big thank you to all the guys in the team for a decent season but, most of all for making the Pot Black B Team THE TEAM to be in for a great night out.

Good luck to all in the end of season cup competitions and don’t forget to sign up for the usual fun and games in the Summer League (where we will no doubt be drawn in the same group as the dons from the A Team again!)

All the best

Quiff

POT BLACK A-TEAM 7TH MARCH '08

Picture shows Paul Harrods reaction to A-Team players sweating over his whereabouts and or health, when found after locking himself in the Gents loo for 30mins!!! (on the Phone supposedly!) Gary (fluffy) can also be seen showing his disgust at Paul being found!!!!

Well then lads! What a pathetic performance we displayed this week. After the Marquis only managed a draw last week with the Seabreeze, you'd have thought we would be able to beat them??? Same tactics as last week for the skipper. . . . . No Kelvin (Moley), meant no Danny Wilimot last week, and No Moley, meant no Peter Wright this week!

Only noticeable performances in the doubles came from Spence (Sheepy) with good doubling in and out and a fine 180. The other performance noted by Gaz (Fluffy) was the 15 darts that the Harrods' threw in their leg to score just over 100 points! The doubles finished a dismal 2 - 2 after being 2 - 0 up!

Singles got off even worse as we started to fall behind! At 6 - 3 down, we thought a defeat was inevitable! Lucky for us we managed the last three legs to secure a draw and kept them cocky b******s (who think they should have won the league this year) from gloating and cheering all night!

Overall we've had a tidy season, and should finish only 2 points behind the Homeguard in second place this year. Knockout cup on Good Friday, and we'll being doing our best to get our names on a trophy this season. Come on lads!

Comedy News Flash

As you're all aware nowadays, people are always swapping ring tones and showing off their new mobile phones. Some people have covers to protect their phones, or even special sock covers??? As I popped to the toilets at the Marquis, Eddy (The Natural) followed in behind. He asked me if I'd seen the "Jizzard of Oz"? I told him "no" and wondered what the hell he was talking about? He then got his mobile phone out of his pocket, which had one of those sock covers to protect the screen from scratches! Not a specific designer mobile phone sock, just an ordinary black sock that was four times to big for the phone!

I was laughing and taking the pi$$ out of his phone and sock so The Natural began to swing it around his head, and in a put on scary voice, he asked if I'd ever seen the film "Scum"? Just before I could answer the question, the phone bumped against his watch. I began to laugh and said you should be more careful or you might damage the screen (said in a very sarcastic way)! The Natural got him phone out of the sock to check, and I couldn't believe my eyes. . . . . The screen was cracked (a decent size crack)! I was absolutely wetting myself, with tears running down my face! How Ironic that you use a sock to protect your phone from scratches, yet it was the sock that he used to demonstrate a movie scene that caused the damage to the phone!

Linx
Vice Skip

PS - Nice to see the old skipper (Graham) out for a drink with Alex! Can you bring us some more luck next time please?

RE: SPOOF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP?

Can I assume that in the last A-Team write up there was a misprint and it was actually the Spoof World Series Linx was refering to because as in Baseball, no-one else was allowed to enter!

On this same subject last friday saw an A-Team spoof game run alongside a B-Team game cumulating in a A v B final! Gottsy represented the A-Team only to be outplayed by Gally of the B-Team, so i think it's fair to say he is now the BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!!!

" BOLLICKS " Came the reply from the real spoof champion of the world!!!!! signed Wally

POT BLACK 'B' QUIFF WRITE UP

('Kingy' of Bahrain makes shock Pot Black appearance)

Hi Guys,

Sorry for the lack of information over the last couple of weeks but, unlike the whippersnappers in the A Team, it takes some of us older gits a bit longer to come to terms with the technology. Thanks to an intense training session from our webmaster, Ready, I think I have now got to grips with it so should be able to keep all you keen fans up to date with the news from the B Team.

The story so far : The last time you heard from us, you may recall that we learned some inner secrets about Billy (Bungle) Bennett. This proved to be a bit of a distraction from the darts which saw a fine 9-3 victory over the Railway D, with the star of the night being Shaun (Hos) Hoskin, who not only won both games but boasted a 180 and a one-dart 50 finish, to cries of “flash git”.

Having secured two points, we were looking forward expectantly to the next week’s home game against the Ex Servicemens D but despite earning a point with a 6-6 draw, the performance was somewhat disappointing with most of our players mis-firing like a garage full of second-hand Lada’s. Highlight of the night was a 103 start from our guest star for the evening, the King of Bahrain (Darren[Kingy]), who flew in especially for the occasion. Unfortunately, playing last for the win, jet-lag crept in half way through the game and the 103 start proved to be the peak.

The following week saw us on our travels again, this time to the Waveney. Kingy had decided he enjoyed the previous week so much that he postponed his flight back just so he could turn out and lose again, this time with Ozzie in the doubles. A slightly better overall performance than the previous week saw us 6-5 up with one game to go and yours truly on last. Unfortunately a missed attempt at a bull finish meant I lost and another draw was the result. (Congratulations to my opponent who was clearly their best player on the night!!!).

And so to yesterday (Fri 7th Mar), and the visit to the Potty of the all-singing’ all-dancing Hearts of Oak. We knew this was going to be tough game but were not quite prepared for the pounding we got on the way to 7-0 down. The best chance of nicking a game on the way to this score, fell to our very own Right Said Fred partnership of Pauly Gallagher and Chubbsy (the weatherman) Crawford. However, after a few attempts at a finishing double, no-one was arguing with Paul’s own description of himself, Limp-Wristed Tw@!. It was left to Hos to stop the rot and, followed by decent performances from yours truly and Steve (action man) Moyse, we managed to at least make the score-line respectable at 9-3. Early in the evening Billy (Bungle) Bennett set us a poser when he asked “do I look stupid”. Answers on a postcard please to: Mick Wall, Pot Black, usual address.

POT BLACK 'A' 29TH FEB '08

(Pic shows Current World Spoof Champion Linx!)
Another week gone and another step closer to 2nd place for the team.

Home this week to the ex-servicemen 'A'. What a fantastic result for them (and for us) last week when they turned over the Marquis of Lorne! The result meant that we were now 3 points clear of the Marquis in 3rd and needed to make it count by beating the ex-servicemen 'A'. A solid performance in the doubles saw us take an early 3 - 1 lead heading into the singles. Well done to all the players as we managed to win 5 - 3 in the singles to secure a fine 8 - 4 victory.

That's the serious stuff out of the way, now for some events during the evening worth mentioning. . . . . . . .

Before the match the players were practicing hard at finishes, starting from 81 and seeing how high they could reach! Paul (HUD) almost fainted when Darren (Gottsy) got us under way with 81, so immediately decided it was best for him to take on the quiz machine! 82 and 83 passed before Gary (Fluffy) stepped up to the oche for his only throw of the evening! Would we see a remarkable finish from the stuttering legend? Once his first dart went firmly into double 1 you realised this wasn't such a good idea! After the players eventually stopped laughing (5 - 10 mins) Fluffy managed to 'fluke' a treble 14 to leave his favourite 2 dart finish, double top! An awe of silence as the players looked on, and Fluffy smashed home a fine double top and secured the 84 finish, 100% for the evening, but Fluffy was told by the captain he is still number nine on his team sheet!

After the darts saw the world spoof championship take place. Bardy the current world champion started well by being first through the first round. Several drinks later and the final was here, Linx vs ? (can't remember). No worries for me as I notched up a 2 - 0 victory and the world title!

Next game saw another fine performance from the newly crowned world champion as I reached yet another final against Paul (HUD). My luck run out and HUD was victorious!

After some miserable performances by Fluffy, he had to challenge the world champ (HUD) in a heads up match! For F*** sake Fluffy, why didn't you beat him? I can't stand that git winning!

Happy Darting Lads!

Linx
Vice Skip

PS - Eddy, you still owe Adam (SHREK) the taxi money from last week!!!