A V's B (A-TEAMS VIEW)

ANCHORMAN BARDY

Trying to keep up to date with all of these blogs! - Even busier this week!!!

Away to the Pot Black 'B' this week. Lovely, no calling or chalking!

The 'B' side managed to beat the Ex Serv HG in their first encounter 8 - 4 then got destroyed in their rematch 10 -2. We had the upper hand when we met them earlier in the season 11 - 1 (I think) so was it to be a reversal???

Skip had done the draw, but surprisingly to most of us left himself out of the singles! Serious was on water for the second week running so we had a few doubts to start with! All these doubts seemed to be put to one side as we took the first two doubles matches. Third doubles was me & HUD vs Bungle and Legend! A decent standard of darts for 3 of us, as I somehow managed to keep us in the leg! Bungle missed a shot at the Bull, then HUD wasted his opportunity to actually do something in the leg (Nice new darts though HUD!). Legend fired wide of double 4 with two darts before we went 0 - 3 in front.

Then.........

By the time HUD had got the round in and drained his bladder he was on in the singles! No chance of nerves getting to him expecting to be in line for a Chesney as we were pulled back to 3 - 3 with Sheepy losing a tight game against Tony and Liquids failing to convince me with his new darts which are Phil 'the power' Taylor phase 4.293825193047364 darts! HUD responded well by never looking at all involved in the leg as the 'B' side edged ahead 4 - 3. Next up was our banker against pressure, The Snatch-u-ral. Another great week of singles mate, Doh! The score now 5 - 3 to the 'B' side. Before you say it Eddy, yes I'm still grateful you came through against Graham Pavey!

Smasher up next who's been our best singles performer this year and was keen to put his defeat last week behind him. Nice darts 'Chins' as the score went a little closer at 5 - 4.

Next was our iron man of darts 'Serious'. He knew the importance of the game and desperately wanted to win this game! Was it the water then or the fact that he tried too hard? The 'B' side had now claimed their first draw against us but were not content with drawing the match.

Capt cob vs the Legend was next and he kept me on my toes. After establishing a lead in the leg, yet again more wasted doubles for me as I struggle to close out legs and gave legend a shot at double top! No more chances I thought, and I was right for a change! 6 - 5 the score now stood and lots to win for both sides.

The 'B' were chasing the ultimate bragging rights and it would be a noticeable victory on their already fine achievements this season. The 'A' were trying to keep their noses in front of their arch rivals by winning and staying 1 point clear at the top of the league.

Oz vs Bardy. If you need to rely on a player you'd love to have Bardy on last! What a fantastic leg of darts we saw with both players missing shots at the double. Finally the leg was over and the result was . . . . . . . . 6 - 6.

On reflection of the overall match the score based on first dart at a double should have been 7v5 to the B Team

Well done and hard luck to the 'B' side as they were worth the win!

Other Matters

1/ Lincoln wins first game of Liar dice (second one doesn't count)
2/ Will we have a facebook wedding later in the year? (At least the free taxi service has resumed normal service)
3/ Does a straight in poker dice beat a '4 of a kind' or a 'full house' ? Fluffy seems to think so!

Wikipedia suggests that a straight is higher than a full house (based on it's probability) but nowhere near a four of a kind! In defence every other site I have checked shows the full house being higher! Which is correct? I'd ask Wally but he'll just say a three of a kind is higher!

Joke Corner

Jimmy Carr Quotes...

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.

I did a gig in the US once for the homeless. I said "It's nice to see so many bums on seats".





British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?



My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."

Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.





A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."


Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx

Home v's Ole Frank

After them taking a point of us earlier in the season we were determined not to let the same happen again! A race into a 3 - 0 in the doubles (so long ago it might have been this week with the 3 - 0)! Actually I think the doubles was 2 - 2? The singles matches were next and with the two water boys (Serious & Skip) and Sheepy on in the last 3 we thought it would be a nail biter!

It went to 5 - 4 in favour of us with H2O on next. Skip played a blinder and seems to be getting used to not drinking, although his doubling out was making us nervous until finally it was there and 6 - 4. Next up was Serious and he looked a bit out of sorts. A slightly nervous end to the leg but he managed to pull it off and victory was secured! Thank the lord it was all over as Sheepy struggled against an old legend in Brian Bull to make the final score line 7 - 5.

Other News

1 - The match made on facebook had only one more week to go! Will there be wedding bells later in the year???
2 - No more news about the series Gavin & Stacey starting up anytime soon!
3 - A quiet night was enjoyed by all as Fluffy didn't make an appearance as he suffered a runny nose earlier in the week!

Joke Corner

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx

A V's B (B-TEAM'S VIEW)

After last weeks return to winning ways against the Queens Head, we knew this week was going to be hard against the A Team Boys. Historically we always seem to underperform and manage to get thrashed every time we play them and, worst still, we were at home and this year we have played worse at home than we have away. As you can probably tell, we were really feeling confident about this one!

Arriving at the Club in our usual dribs and drabs starting around 7-00, we noticed that most of their team was already there and practising (had they really been there since 11-00 in the morning, were they worried?) Moreover they had taken up position in the prime seats of the Home Team (the significance of this will be revealed later) The draw done and time for the first game which saw a brave effort by Clint and Yid with a high score each but we could not win the leg. Hos partnered by Shoot em up and then Oz and Moysie also lost and we were 3-0 down and thinking here we go again! We then realised that we hadn’t witnessed much of these games because we couldn’t see a thing. Between the A team in our seats and a crowd in the middle watching football, we were stranded in the bar area feeling like the away team.

Hold on a minute, we play better away, hmmm! Next up after this realisation were Bungle and the Legend and, lo and behold, they won to get us a leg on the board. First singles saw me up against Spence and our boys were getting into away support mode popping up now and again to see if they could see anything. I have to say this was a cracking leg and but for a timely 134 Spence would have hammered me but after he missed with 1 dart at a double I managed to take out tops to take us to 3-2. Shoot em up next against Paul Harrod and before long there was the trademark triple salko as Dave hit the finishing double to take us all square. Hold on boys, we’re back in this with the next of our dynamic western duo on next, Clint beat Eddie Lark to get us ahead 4-3. The eighth game saw Moysie lose to a good game from Craig George before Hos was up against Kelvin and after a couple of high scores from Kelv it looked like we would go behind. Then Kelv decided to show the benevolent side of his nature and not hit the finishing double. This allowed Shawn to not only get down to the double but to also have several chances himself before finally hitting double 8 to take us 5-4 up (yes UP). Bungle then played Matty Hook and with the latter a bit off his game, Billy took advantage and secured us a point at 6-4. Time for Flatty to text the Home Guard and tell them we had got 6 legs (noticeable that THEY didn’t ask for a photo of the card to prove it!) Two games to go and a chance of a famous win. Goochy had a very difficult task against Links but played well enough to have a dart at bull and two more on the wire of tops but it was not to be and Links held his nerve to hit the double. One more chance for real glory and Ozzie on last played out of his skin against Bardy but one poor score of 26 let Danny back in. Oz still had one dart for an 84 finish before Danny finished a really good pressure game to earn them a draw. On the whole, a good night’s work by our boys and a point we didn’t expect which helps strengthen our current third place. We have a few crucial games to go but if we can keep the momentum going we could have a great season.

Next up is a trip to the football club on Friday.

See you soon Quiff

B-TEAM REPORT

Two games to report on this week starting last Friday with the visit of the Home Guard. After our superb performance beating them in the away leg we knew they would either be scared stiff about facing us again or fired up to thrash us. We soon realised that they certainly weren’t scared. Four doubles down and we were 4-0 down with their boys playing solidly and not giving anything away. Billy Bennnett then salvaged something for us with a good win over Graham Kelly but we were soon back to struggling and losing games of singles. Hos did well to give himself a chance of beating Andy Honeyman but just losing and Moysie was our only other winner with victory over Nigel Knights. A 10-2 loss but at the start of the season I think we would have settled for sharing the points with them (Not much!)

So to this week and a chance to get back on track away to the Queens Head. First up were Ozzie and a lesser spotted Paul Gallagher and, after a very slow start came back in the style of Dick Turpin to grab the win. With Bungle and the Legend up next we were hopeful of going 2-0 ahead but it was not to be as they were OK until the end and managed to lose. Eagle eyes and shoot em up then got us back on track with Dave hitting 94 to set Steve up with a 36 finish. Hos and myself then went on fourth and with Hos scoring freely and a quick finish from me we went to 3-1 up after the pairs. First singles saw the Legend play a very tidy game (at least until the finish) and hold out to take us further ahead before Moysie played a game of two halves – unfortunately with the good half first, and he tailed off to take us back to 4-2. Clint Tyler then came good towards the end of his singles and despite slow finishing hit a double 2 and he was followed by Hos with a good game but another slow finish, eventually holding out to secure us a point at 6-2 up. Bungle then went on and we were hopeful of securing the win but he was beaten by a good game from Kris Baggott. I was on next, returning to a tentative two-legged stance and after a slow but close game somehow found five good darts at the end to take us to 7-3. Shoot em up lost the eleventh game before Wally stepped up on last for what was to be the event of the night. After a relatively quiet game Wally threw three darts to leave himself 50. A big cry of “Bull wanted”, Wally turned to the crowd, turned back to the board and one dart later it was “Bull’s Hit” as Wally planted his dart firmly in the centre to seal an 8-4 win. A good night for all, particularly Mick “Bull’s Hit” Wall and another two points. A further note, Bungle wanted it known that he won a game of Liar Dice! Well done lad!

Next up is the A Team.

See you soon Quiff

A-TEAM WRITE UP

(KELVIN HOLDS HIS NERVE)

Sorry for the delay in getting the blog up and running again guys! Been a little busy at work lately and just haven't found time!!!!

It's two weeks running now that we've been down the Seabreeze, but at least this week we didn't have to play upstairs without a bar, no toilets, no heating and an 8ft Oche!

The draw was done and all eyes were on the player last in the singles. Not just because he would be calling the first game of doubles but in case the score managed to get to 11 - 0! Liquids (Kelvin) was on last, so he started drinking the stronger stuff, full fat coke!!!

With the Ex Serv HG trailing 5 or 6 legs behind us, Skip wanted to make sure we didn't drop any more legs than we needed too! A straight 8 players indicated his intentions and with the 'B' team facing our arch rivals it was sure to work out well for us?

Doubles went according to plan with a 4 - 0 victory so on with the singles. It was better to be on early than later as the wins kept on coming in, 5 - 0, 6 - 0, 7 - 0, 8 - 0, 9 - 0, 10 - 0, 11 - 0 and on with the most important match of the evening!!!! LIQUIDS.

He didn't let us down and lost in fine style to make the final score 11 - 1 with the boys all in fine voice singing 'you are the one and only'! All you needed then was a comforting arm from Sheepy (Spence) to tell you that there is always next week!

In other news:

1/ The 'B' team didn't take 2 many legs of the Ex Serv HG with the final score 10 - 2, Damn!

2/ As Skip will tell you, don't leave your car outside Parkers before the Pot Black if you want your bumper to be in one piece!

3/ Serious (Matt) lost his patients to me at Liar dice before losing to Liquids mate at darts!

4/ Line of the evening must come from the better half of Gottsfreecabs.com/not/always/available/anymore. When most of the taxi's had picked up the boys and I was then leaving with Fluffy to go back down the Pot Black, Weekend Sportsman (PH) was still playing pool and would get a lift back with Gottsfreecabs! Lauren then said to me . . . That's right, just leave us here to wait for that w-anchor !!! Brilliant stuff.

5/ Liquids won his match quite convincingly but I wanted to say he lost because I'm a git! Well done mate and put them tears away now!

6/ Actual result was 12 - 0

Joke
A man went into a clock shop and put his nob on the counter.
"Can you fix this for me darling?"
"Sorry sir, this is a clock shop not a cock shop!"
"Well" said the man.
"In that case, can you put 2 hands and a face on it then?"

Well done boys and lets hope we keep this up!

Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx

A-TEAM WRITE UP

(Co Stompe's twin brother celebrates his only previous win!!!)


Happy new year to all of you.

Sorry the blog has taken so long to write but what can I say? I'm a lazy ar$e!

So long ago now I can't remember much about the darts! Think we played the K.W.M.C. and the result was 10 - 2 not sure of the losers but I remember Smasher (Craig) having his winning streak stopped with a fine 112 finish from Dale Rogers! Ouch!

The rest is but a blur now , but I'm sure Matt was chuffed with his exit from the singles competition!!!!

After match events that I can recall:-

1/ John Part (4) going out in the first round of the world darts championships! to Co Stompe's black twin brother Bill Davis
2/ Fluffy smashing the liar dice box on the floor in the Pot Black after an audacious call from the person to his left!
3/ Mick Wall for thinking that a 3 of a kind is higher than a full house!
4/ Me speaking in a northern accent to Lauren while trying to sound like Ernie Els!

See you all up the Seabreeze this Friday boys! Think we play there again the week after! B R I L L I A N T

Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx