Sunday, 30 August 2009

B-TEAM REPORT

Sun star man:-ODD JOB
Is Jurassic Park just fiction or could it become reality? I would have thought fiction but now I am not so sure. I would never have believed in the possibility of the re-appearance of creatures that have not been around for years until I went to the Pot Black last night and Dave (Tommo) Thompson walked in! We knew we were missing lots of players and thought he had come to our rescue but he was only there to invite us to his 40th birthday party, a surprise in itself as we all thought he was 45! Nice to see you Tommo.

We would like to say that we are strong enough that we can rotate our squad and that we had our Carling Cup side out last night but in truth we were missing some of our big guns (especially Shoot em up and Clint). On the subject of our lack of players we would like to thank Kingy who responded to a desperate phone call by flying in from Abu Dabi to make up the numbers. Obviously I rewarded him by leaving him out all night as we had 8 anyway.

Without Goochy, Billy, Stridey and Clint we needed to shake up the side in order to try and get something out of the ex servs a so there were some different pairings on show. Hos and Gally started off but their opponents were too strong. Me and Darren went next but they took out an 88 finish with us on 52. Moysie and Yid had our first darts at the double of the night but couldn’t finish. Last on were Wally and Magoo but they didn’t get away until half past ten so we were 4-0 down after the doubles.

We needed a rot-stopper and when Moysie hit 123 and 180 we thought we were on the way but he couldn’t finish and we were 5-0 down. The rot was stopped in the next leg by a good game from Wally. Then I won to make it 5-2. Was the come back on? NO! Hos played well but his opponent played better and Darren then lost to leave the game over at 7-2.

Next on wa Paul Gallagher. Now what can I tell you about Paul. Earlier in the evening he had been compared to a bouncer whilst having a fag outside the potty and when it was asked what he would look like in a suit, someone said “Odd Job”. Now we all know that Odd Job has been practising more than our entire A Team put together but no one was really prepared for what happened...He has come back this year with a renewed enthusiasm and was looking forward to a first singles of the year. With no-one realising the game was actually on the way, we turned around to see that Paul had got away first time. It was a bit confusing though, how on earth did he hit 14.2?? no hang on, surely not 142?? Yes it was, a high start to get going. A few throws later and his lowest score on the board was 60 and he was down to a double hope he doesn’t struggle to finish. No problem straight in double twelve. We have never seen him so focussed. He attributes his new form and confidence to being regularly thrashed by a 14 year old (hold on I don’t like the way our team is going we already have one Paedo on the books).

Yiddo and Magoo were our last two players but both lost to finish 9-3 to them.

I expect to have a full squad available next week and some selection headaches. So far we are 100% at home and 0% away so lets see if we can keep the home form going.

See you soon

Quiff

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

A-TEAM REPORT


NO PAUL WE CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WON EITHER!!!
Another week and another struggle to find 8 players!


Ex serv A away this week and without extreme foam we knew it would be tough!

Doubles looked a little shaky and with Serious and Bardy losing we needed the rest to come good! We managed to get a 2 - 2 from the pairs and more importantly it looked like HUD had brought his darts this week!

Gotts then making his first appearence this year in the singles after working extremely hard these last few weeks, no one has managed to see him! He's even been playing a lot less golf would you believe!!! Got to love Gottsy when he finds a woman! Despite his first match against quavers he showed a good account of himself and should have won the leg! Bad luck bud. Sure you can't make this week? We're well short!


I remember skips match against the bald guy who was working straight after his match! Skip missed his start, but left D12 after a fine 177 after 15 darts. The bald guy on 90 must have felt the pressure a little, but it didn't show as he took out D15 with his last dart!

We fought our way back slowly wigh usual winners to make it 5 - 5 with Ash and HUD to play.
It soon came down to HUD vs Jimmy Shaw for a draw. With a decent performance in the doubles with me he surely would be $hit in the singles!!! How I was wrong as he played a tidy match to secure the draw!


Maybe HUD only plays well when Fluffy isn't there!!!

We thought we'd wait for the grub then back to the pot black! But after waiting 10 minutes for them to serve the other match first with 3 games still to go, cobby was a little animated! Finally after 20 mins we had our grub (dry curly sandwiches) and I was a little happier!!!
It was about 11 now so most never made it back to the pot black!


Fluffy, is your dad available to play this week?
Gottsy, surely you can make it this week? Don't tell me it's your bird's, second cousin's, pet in fancy dress, anniversary special party this week!!!

Joke corner:


A girl was in the pub yesterday when she suddenly realized she desperately needed to fart.

The music was really, really loud, so she timed her farts with the beat.After a couple of songs, she started to feel better.

She finished her drink and noticed that everybody was staring at her!
Then she suddenly remembered that she was listening to her iPod.

B-TEAM REPORT

OZZIE :- "IS THAT IN?, WHERE'S THE BOARD?"


Following last week’s disappointing show against the A team boys, we were hoping to bounce back on Friday against Ex Servicemen’s B.

Picking up on the fact of our loss last week, everyone and his dog turned up last night assuming they could do better! We actually had every registered player we have available and raring to go. Well when I say raring there were a couple of noticeable requests to be left out namely from Stavros and Wally, which did ease the headache for me with twelve to choose from. The second appearance of Gally in just three weeks and the first show of the season for Yiddo and the Big Toe himself Goochy (well he is a leg-end)

So how did it go.

A different pairing of Bungle and Clint got us started with a good win followed by a slow start and good second half from me and Hos. All eyes were then on Eagle Eyes Moysie and Oz (should have gone to specsavers) Magoo, who also did the business for a 3-0 lead. Yiddo and Paul (Mr Practice) Gallagher then went down in a tame game, the highlight of which was Paul’s 120, which turned out to be our only high score of the night.

The singles started well with yours truly playing a steady game followed by a triple salko after Stridey held on to hit double 3. Bungle then kept it going with a great example of sticking with it after struggling at the start to take us into a healthy 6-1 lead.

We then had a bit of a stutter with oz losing after struggling to get away before Clint played a good game and finished quickly to get us the win at 7-2.

We then managed to lose the next two games with our players probably playing our best darts of the night. Goochy was given a few darts start by Tony Lincoln but missed the double and Tony had stormed down the board to nick it, followed by Moysie who also failed to finish in the closest game of the night. Last up was hos who played an excellent game on last to wrap it up at 8-4.

Four points out of the first three games is a better start than last year and although I can’t take the credit, it seems the threat of yellow and green team shirts did the trick.

A toughy next week away to ex servs a who will be up for it after we beat them there last year. We will be without Shoot em up and Clint and Bungle is doubtful so we’ll need a fighting performance.

See you soon

Quiff

p.s. nice to see you Kelv, hope you enjoyed the company!

Monday, 17 August 2009

A V'S B (A-TEAM REPORT)


(DEBUTANT ASH)


Week two, and the fixtures don't get easier, nor does trying to get enough players to play each week!!!


Well I'm not sure what to write this week so I'll leave all the pi$$ taking to Quiff! To me it looked like the first time the A team were the underdogs for the match! We also had a debut for new signing Ash this week! "good luck Ash, oh, by the way you're playing with Fluffy in the doubles"!

The draw looked a very tight match. We looked like we now had a chance of a draw if we played well. The doubles went better than we could have imagined with a 4 - 0 lead and two bull finishes! One of them bulls coming from the legend of foam, Fluffy! Then it soon became 6 - 0 with Tw@t up next for us! He took more darts at the match winning double than he did in the whole leg, but finally he got the job done! Me and Fluffy were secretly hoping that Stridey was going to pinch it so we could witness his trademark swivel hand shake!

The result was now in the bag and more than we were hoping for! We doubled out very well (except Tw@t) which was probably the difference! We dropped 3 legs after that to finish at 9 - 3! Well done lads. Another tricky week next week especially if Gottsy isn't there! He's probably getting married or something that day!

See ya soon

Linx
Capt Cob
Vice Skip

Sent from my iPhone

A V'S B (B-TEAM REPORT)


After a great start to the season last week, we were looking forward to giving the A Team a run for their money this week. With them complaining about lack of strength in depth we fancied our chances but instead of a run for their money we didn’t even give them a slow stroll for it.

The story of the doubles:

Game 1 taxi for twelve cabs
Game 2 eagle eyes and magoo didn’t see it coming
Game 3 Quiff and Shorn got scalped
Game 4 Clint and shoot em up fired blanks and got run out of town

Before we knew what had hit us we were 4-0 down and playing poorly, despite a 140 from Clint, a 125 from Me and a 106 start from Oz. To be fair to them they had had two bull finishes and a 142 out, so they weren’t mucking about.

The singles carried on the same way with Moysie and Darren losing to a pair of Craigs, George and Harrod before Stridey lost to Paul Harrod in 120 darts (at least) to leave us 7-0 down and completely out of it. Remarkably like a Norwich city home game, the crowd (Graham and Charlie) left at this point as they had seen enough! Hos then lost to Bardy to leave us 8-0 down before Quiff got the first game of the night to save a potential whitewash. A further loss by Bungle before a late rally from Paul and Oz saved a bit of face with a final result of 9-3 to them.

A very disappointing game where we really didn’t turn up. If we follow the east anglian trend I suppose the manager will be sacked after our first league defeat by a difference of 6! If we don’t improve we are going to get some yellow and green team shirts made! Come on boys if that doesn’t fire you up nothing will!

On a positive note, this is one of the fixtures we can’t expect to win but we were very disappointed that we didn’t even make a game of it.

Forget that one and lets take it out on the Ex-servicemens B next week and hopefully I’ll have better news to report.

See you soon

Quiff

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

POTBLACK B V MARQUIS B 7 TH AUGUST 2009



Hi Potty B darts fans.

Following last weeks friendly with the A team, the season kicked off on Friday at home to the Marquis B. After our marvellous season last year, we find ourselves highly rated with the bookies and were 1-7 to win our opening game. Missing Mother Gooch but with new signing Stavros Hoskin, the team was buoyed before the start by a surprise arrival. At one minute to seven (1 to 7), the lesser spotted Pauly Gallagher arrived and in true Freddie Flintoff fashion declared himself fit to play.

And so to the match. The first pairs saw quiff and hos get off to a slow start only to greatly improve and provide a quick finish to get us under way. We were slightly assisted by ozzie on the chalks who caused one of our opponents to waste 2 darts by calling a starting double in when it wasn’t! He later blamed his eyesight, which has been described as Mr Magoo wearing blinkers! The second game paired the ever-reliable Bungle with new boy Darren. The latter seemed a bit tense on his debut but a very tidy game from Bill saw us 2-0 up. Then came ozzie and Freddie Gallagher. An excellent game from both with Paul looking like he had been practising all summer saw oz leave 88. A quick phone call to Ladbrokes confirmed the odds were 7-1 against Paul hitting it but, unperturbed, he stepped up and took it out in 2 darts. After taking the accolades, he admitted he had been practising all summer! We are looking forward to his next game but unfortunately there will be a long wait as he usually plays one then misses seven (that’s 1-7, what is it with these numbers???) moysie and shoot em up were last pair but struggled against good opponents. Despite this they had darts at a double but couldn’t take so the pairs finished 3-1 to us.

Clint Tyler was first in the singles and played really well to win. Moysie then took advantage of his opponents inability to finish and despite suffering brain freeze on 48 (7, 3, 38, missed!) he managed to nick it. This took us five one up and we were hoping for an emphatic 7-1 (there’s that score again). Unfortunately Wally wasn’t able to keep the momentum going and was disappointed after a couple of poor throws led to a loss. That was to be the last game we would lose on the night with very solid games from Bungle, Hos, Oz, Shoot em up and yours truly sealing a convincing 10-2 win.

A good start to the season with two points and a goal difference of +8, thats one more than Colchester!

Straight into the fire next week when we play the A Team, will let you know what happens.

See you soon

Quiff

Sunday, 9 August 2009

A-TEAM WRITE UP (NOISY'S BACK!)

Well well well, doesn't the summer get shorter every year? Back to playing darts in the winter league which starts in early august! Nice to see we made an efffort and had the shorts and sandels out lads!

I had a look on the Internet and checked out this years fixtures! I'm not suggesting that having DT as secretary influenced the order we play each team, but we do seem to have last years top 7 sides in the first 7 weeks!!!

With the departure of Sheepy and Liquids for this season our side looked stronger than ever! With Serious' new job, Bardy working at Ipswich and the V festival coming up it looks like Fluffy Senior and G Chillingwood were almost certain to feature! Look out Homeguard!

First match was away to Marquis of Lorne! What a start to the season. The best grub in Lowestoft playing a side that we've taken our least points off in recent years! They really are our bogey side. We always look back on the games after the match to work out the score and find ourselves somewhat bemused that the result is 6 - 6!

This year things will be different!

With the side full of insults to each other, a loud and giggly atmosphere we seemed more relaxed than ever! We really couldn't give a $hit about the results this year we just wanted to laugh all night! And we did laugh quite alot during the doubles match of Fluff and Tw@t, surely our strongest pair!

The doubles were all fairly close but not as close as Fluffy's D11 to win the leg! First dart smashed the outside wire and blocked his approach for his second dart. Second dart rattled the first dart and hung onto the board somehow just inside the wire. With the other team on a double we all were anticipating the most outrageous attempt from Fluffy. He didn't disappoint when he eventually released the dart to hit single 3 to leave D4! The anticipated dart at D11 and knocking out the second dart seemed to much for Fluffy as he hung onto his dart for a bit!!!
That was the only doubles we lost as we raced into a 3 - 1 lead!


Next up was Serious in the best game of the evening! He played Gavin Peek as they traded ton plus starts and matched each other down the board. In the end Serious managed to win the leg after Gavin had left himself a double. Ouch!
Bardy was up next and you could say we all smiled a little wider than normal as he beat Sheepy!!!

Skip was next and saw his chances of 30/30 go out the window as the H2O guzzler struggled to hit the winning double!

Snatch-u-ral was up next and after a fantastic start seemed to have given the leg away with some horrific scoring only to be bettered by our talisman Tw@t later on! One dart left in his hand and DTOP going, the outcome didn't disappoint.

The draw was now secure at 6 - 2 although we had Fluff and Tw@t to play, Smasher on water (which was painful) and big balls Linx on last!


We seemed to have accepted the draw at this point, well at least Tw@t did with his usual shocking display! Fluffy was next and luckily for us was drawn against Micky Wooltorton! Fluff seemed to relish the oppotunity and had glimpses of his old self! That was when he was thirteen and not drinking alcohol rather than his fluent throwing (thanks for driving)! Sitting on 90 something he saw MW take out a 136 to make the score 6 - 4.

Next was Smasher who was drawn against Graham Pavey! I have to confess here that drinking water was more of a problem than his apponent as he was throwing some very loose darts! The double at the end was painful as we could see Graham gaining on him to get a shot at 34. First dart in the 2, second in the hole of 16, you can guess where the third went . . . . . . . . No! It was only a 16! That was enough to kick Smasher up the ar$e as he secured the win with D2.

Next was me, Cobby, and with no interest in the last match I eased home to victory making the final score 8 - 4.


Well done lads, lets see if we can do the same next week without Serious and Bardy! lol

A big congratulations to Bardy who is expecting his first child! Well his partner is expecting, Bardy's the father.


Team 2009/10

Craig Harrod (Skip) - Captain
Ryan Lincoln (Captain Cob) - Vice Captain
Matty Hook (Serious)
Eddy Lark (Snatch-u-ral)
Danny Bardwell (Bardy)
Craig George (Smasher)
Gary Flatt (Fluffy, Extreme Foam)
Darren Gotts (Gottsy, Gottsfreecabs)
Gavin Chillingworth (Chillo, Jesus)
R Flatt (Fluffy senior, Eyebrows)
Ash Moore (Chris Griffin Family Guy)


Oh! I nearly forgot someone . . . . . . .
Paul Harrod (Tw@t, Hud, Weekend Sportsman)

Joke corner


Ever wondered who the jury was in the recent Stevie G trial? See below!










I love you guys,


and I love my Fridays!



See you next week.



Linx



Vice Capt

Sunday, 2 August 2009

B-TEAM PRE-SEASON


Hi to all you Potty B darts fans.

After a long summer break we have reached that time of year again with the winter (yes winter) league starting next week (if the season start gets any earlier we will be starting next season before we finish this one!).

We have been a bit quiet in the transfer window with only one main signing, namely Darren Hoskin, joining us on a Bosman. We feel this could be a valuable signing provided we can get him away from the bar to go to away games but at least we haven’t got to fly anywhere so there is hope!

Our pre-season programme has been going well with many of the team turning out regularly every Friday for pint lifting training session to keep their elbows limbered up. Mother Gooch elected to use the summer break to relax and recuperate after a tough season last year, Tommo has departed to foreign shores (Leiston) and the police currently have a missing persons report out on Paul Gallagher!

A couple of players decided to tone their games by playing in the Summer league, the most successful of these being Wally who played with the youngsters and has returned to us looking sharp with his game fully honed. He has also gained a fresh nickname “Paedo” which was given to him by his own son Max (does anyone else find this slightly disturbing).

Our pre season preparations were finalised last night with a high profile friendly against none other than premiership high fliers, our A team. A little bit thin on the ground and missing Goochy, Moysie, Oz, Stridey and the Yid it gave us the chance to blood a couple of trialists in Jules (I cant play darts) and Ian (I haven’t thrown a dart for 2 years) Blake.

As you might expect from two serious darting sides the match was fiercely competitive and played with the utmost respect and consideration for the opponents (yeah right).

On a night when regular pairings had to be juggled about the opening match saw Wally and Clint play Craig George and Gottsy with Paul hitting a 135 and Wally playing superb to get us off to a winning start. Next up were the brothers Hos who went down to Bardy and Craig with Shaun having to try and bend the flight of the dart more than a Ronaldo free kick to try and hit the board around a dancing Paul Harrod! After the game a spokesman (Darren Hoskin) said “Shaun was shit”. The third game was probably the game of the night with Bungle and debutante Jules playing Links and Chilly. A great score of 118 from Jules fired Billy up to hit a 120 to leave Jules on 59. With their opponents struggling to finish, Jules stepped up and threw for a 19 only to hit a 2! Needing a 17 to leave tops, Jules quick thinking worked out that a phantom breeze was affecting the flight of the dart, so he adjusted perfectly, aimed for a 7 and hit the middle of the 17. With the breeze increasing (is there any end to this bullshit) Jules aimed somewhere above double nine and landed it perfectly in the middle of tops (I did take a picture but after hours of trying get my damned phone to connect to the computer I gave up) for an unlikely steal to take us 2-1 up. It was soon 2-2 after yours truly and Ian struggled to start and lost to Harrod and Flatty.

Hos then took us to 3-2 up with a good win over Craig George hitting the winning double despite some intense barracking, before Darren and Ian both lost to put us behind. I then confused the crowd who were too busy yacking at the start of my game with Bardy and thought I had hit a sixteen darter – trouble was they missed the 9 darts it took me to get away. Well poised at 4-4 we then fell apart with Jules, Wally, Bungle and Paul all losing to leave the result at 8-4 to them.

Not a bad result for our slightly depleted team but is was a useful learning curve as we discovered something that could be vital when we play them in two weeks – the best way to barrack Flatty is to shut up, keep quiet and give him the best of order!

The league starts next Friday at home to the Marquis B so I will be back in regular contact

See you soon

Quiff

Saturday, 1 August 2009

LOWESTOFT FESTIVAL DARTS LEAGUE FIXTURES 2009/10




(CLICK ON IMAGES TO VIEW)