THE WEEKEND SPORSTMAN V THE QUIFF (PART II)

After the tense battle between the elected capatinos 'Harrod & Atko' its time for the sequel. With several of the big players unavailable and Harrod already 1-0 up this is the first chance Atko's got a chance to redeem himself. Mind you after having 'first pick' and going down 6-1 before "we eased off " he may pick a few different faces rather than go on reputations! The word from camp Harrod on the night was ease off to make the quiz exciting at the end! It actually got too close for comfort but I can only put that down to Flatty & Yiddo (Harrods team) arguing all the time about something they both agreed with in the first place!!!

So, on SAT 16th MAY, starting at 8pm, teams chosen on the night by the highly embarrassing 'playground-pick' method, playing singles, doubles at darts, then finishing with a 25 question sports quiz.

The good news is because "I luv yer lots" I'm putting on a happy 3 hours!!!!!!

So put it in your diary and for all those coke & water drinkers,(gottsy &CO) on that night, I'll like you MUCH MORE THAN THOSE SNAKEBITE GUSSLERS who will rip me off!!!

THE LAST A-TEAM WRITE UP

Well Guys, this is it! Last Blog of the dart season so it's up to the rest of you to write in to potblack147@hotmail.co.uk and make up stories of recent events or like me be truthful each week and abuse "TW@T" and "Fluffy" !

After messing up against the Ex Serv HG we were relying on Lowestoft Town 'A' or the Ex Serv 'A' to do us a favour!!! We'll I'm sure the Cook's go way back when the started the Honeyman fan club so the help from them was emphatic. . . . . 12 - 0!

The Ex Serv 'A' did their very best and earned a draw which meant we lost the league again on legs! Only two more wins were needed, but with a dreadful performance against the Queens Head the week before winning only 8 - 4 meant we were stuffed pretty much come the last game!

Noticeable performance this week saw "TW@T" pull off a hat trick of losses, losing the last three weeks (might have lost the week before that!). This was further surpassed as he managed to be the only loser against the Tudor Rose giving us the best feeling you could hope for after losing the title by singing out loud the lyrics. . . . . . YOU ARE, THE ONE AND ONLY!

Other events
1/ Skip manages to beat the favourite in money dart games, "Serious" to win both games of halvies!
2/ Fluffy took over 10 minutes to come back with the beers with "TW@T" so we scrubbed them off the board! Fluffy turned into me for about 5 minutes and then took his enormous £0.50 stake back out of the kitty in protest! He kept on repeating "It's the principle of the matter"!!! (I was wetting myself)
3/ No Stacey so guess what. . . . . . . . .WRONG! Gav was there this week! So much constant abuse on the blog makes you change, hey Gav?
4/ Wally ventures out with Linx and Fluffy as we take black sambukas and luminous green AWGA or something to the max!!!

Joke Corner

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
Sorry guys, not very good ones this week!

Over and out for the season.

See you all Friday I guess?

Capt Cobby
Vice Skip
Linx

WELL DONE LADS !!!!!!!!!!!

The Dogs B*****ks!

Another season (league that is) has finished and although the 'A' didn't win the league , it couldn't have been much closer! Mind you, the homeguard have only ever have about 9 players and never play the whole squad like us, so it will be nearly impossible to beat them on games difference! My 'B' team had their best season ever finishing an incredible 5TH. If someone had said to us at the start of the season that they fancy us to finish that high they would be club favourite to win at liar dice!!!

Anyway, I don't care what other teams think we've got the best two club sides in the TOWN! You can tell that other teams are envious of our camaraderie by the way they love to put one over us, but any pub in town would love have you lot representing them! Now don't let that go to your heads too much, as I think it might has something to do with the club and it is the same with all the other club teams and the lads who represent us!!!! But anyway, the website has been a great success and I'd like to put in a special thanks to Atko, Harrod , Ryan for putting their time and humour in print for some light hearted piss-taking out of their players and the thing is if you can't take a shed load of stick, you are definitely in the wrong team and probably in the wrong CLUB!!!

The nicknames have grown from week to week and its not like "coro or eastenders" because if you tend to miss a week or two it is be bloody difficult to understand who our scribes are talking about! There's no weekend jaunt abroad booked for this year, is it the credit crunch or is it the more likely cause that your all too ********* boring now!! Anyway the B mob was talking about a Sat day out over Yaaarmouth, this time leaving early(as you all behaved last year and didn't go home early!!(you know who you are)) and get in a couple of sports before doing our nuts at the dogs!! Let me now asap as fitting in a date where everyone is available is always a nightmare.

Lastly, we will be entering the summer leagues (two teams) and the poster will be up shortly. I know some of you want to rest your livers but if you are interested, get your names down, as there are some young whipper snappers waiting to play( they are pretty crap) but if you-mob aren't playing, I can give them a chance!

So thanks for another great year and maybe see you on presentation night!!!

WALLY X X X X X

CAPT QUIFF'S LAST LEAGUE WRITE-UP!

B TEAMS MOST WINS PLAYER 2009 THE HOS!!!

Greetings all you darts lovers (and followers of the Potty B Team) After an indifferent (poor) recent run of results with several losses and a couple of draws, we needed to finish the season strongly for the last two matches. Last week we entertained the Sea Breeze with a bare eight and for the first time in ages got off to a good start in the doubles. Hos and me started us off with a comfortable win before shoot em up and clint lost a close game. The (wet?) dream team of bungle and the legend were on third and struggled to start but a good rally from trev with a 140 and a bull finish from bill got us to 2-1 up. Moysie and oz then hit a 140 each (and had about 140 darts each at a double) before finally holding on for a 3-1 lead, the first time we had been ahead in the doubles for weeks. Three good wins from me, hos and shoot em up took us to 6-1 and we were looking comfortable and feeling good. We were doing so well we wondered if it could last and we were right to wonder. Oz was on next and came nearer to killing the chalker than hitting a starting double. Goochy relaxed a bit in the danger zone after someone ordered him a crash helmet but it was too late for oz who lost to take us to 6-2. this started the rot with moysie, then bungle, then clint all losing to leave us needing the last game for a win. There is only one legend! Up stepped trev with typical coolness, bottle and a 125 to win the last game and get us a win.

This week we were away to the ole frank for the last game of the season. We had 10 players this week with the return of yiddo and a rare week at home from Mick (Judith Chlamers) Wall. Actually it is probably not fair to compare Wally with Judith as she never had quite that much holiday! Anyway we started the doubles with the legend and bungle and with a bit of help from a 180 from the latter we were 1-0 up. Despite a couple of 140’s, moysie and oz, then clint and yid both lost before hos and me pulled one back to leave us 2-2 after the pairs. Bill was first on in the singles and, showing no signs of the heavy shoulders he incurred in the pairs, played another good game to get us ahead. It alternated a bit. Hos lost, stridey won (with an extra fast twiddle after a good win over sean Wilson), clint lost, I won. Ozzie broke the run with a good win to take us 6-4 up with two to play. Trev couldn’t finish which left it to moysie who held his nerve and got us a 7-5 win. Four points out of the last four and a secured fifth place finish (I don’t know about the other results but unlikely we nicked fourth) but what an excellent season. The best finish we have ever achieved and I would to thank the whole team for a brilliant effort but above all keeping our tradition of enjoying ourselves. Good luck in the knockout and individual competitions. Now for the geeky bit. For all you statisticians out there, here are the stats for the season. I thought I might need some help with all the number crunching so I asked an accountant, flatty, for his assistance. After he replied “what do you want them to be?”, I ended the season with 30 wins out of 24, 6 180’s, 49 high scores and a finish of 170! Realising the need for a more realistic tally, I went through the book and came up with the following:

Player Played won %age High scores 180’s

Bungle 29 19 65.52 15 1

Shoot em up 28 17 60.71 8

Hos 28 21 75.00 12

Eagle eyes 26 12 46.15 19 2

Oz 27 12 44.44 11

Gally 1 0 00.00 0

Clint 29 15 51.72 14

Yid 5 0 00.00 2

Quiff 24 17 70.83 11 1

Legend 28 13 46.43 18 1

Wally 11 2 18.18 3

Most wins Hos

Next week bill and oz play in the singles. Good luck.

All the best Quiff

A-TEAM WRITE UP

Well after a disappointing week against the 'HG' who really gives a flying f### what we do in these last two weeks!!!

After picking up our dented egos from the floor the week before we turned our attention to the next opponents in the LOWESTOFT Festival league, The KESSINGLAND Queens Head. . . . . . . . . Away from home!!!

That's the Queens Head not to be confused with Working mens club, hey Sheepy!

Got to be honest with you all, I cant really remember much about the games played, as I was stuck on the out of date juke box for about an hour trying to get rid of the £3 we had left over from the Quiz earlier in the night! I do remember one game . . . . . .

Weekend vs Kriss Baggot (That will do for spelling)

After Kriss surrendered the start by missing with his first three darts I asked Fluffy if he wanted a bet on the match? Only a £1 but he said NO! as he'd never back Weekend at any sport for the rest of his life! I said that's fine I'll have weekend and you can have Kriss!

Game on!

Can't remember if I ever paid you for that £1 bet Fluffy! Chase me up on Friday!

Other events

1/ No Stacey behind the bar this week so Chillo stays at home!
2/ Fluffy wins the first game of liar dice
3/ Cobby wins the second game of liar dice
4/ Oz still supports Chelsea and Yid still knows more about boxing than Craig, Fluffy and Dunston put together
5/ Checked with the wife and she's busy on 2 May, so only one ticket for me please 'Serious' (O.M.G. I'll be hammered this year)
6/ Smasher has an early night in order to regain some respect from the previous week!


See you Friday Guys

Capt Cob
Vice Skip
Linx

B-TEAM WRITE UP

Do you know this man?

An away trip this week to the working mens club and another tough game. As we seem to be doing a lot lately, we put ourselves under pressure from the start losing the first doubles with Steve the Yid partnered with some bloke I vaguely recognised but who seemed a little familiar, Paul something-or-other, big guy, no hair, eats vegetables, losing to good opponents. This was followed by Oz and Shoot-em-up an then bungle and the legend both losing to once again put us under pressure at 3-0 down. They were playing well though, with high scores going in and not much mucking about on doubles. Hos and me managed to pull the next one back with a tidy game and a quick finish before Ozzie lost the first singles with his game tailing off at the end.We then started a fightback with great games from goochy, stridey and bungle which got us back to 4-4.

Having got the game level, we then proceeded to lose the next two with first Moysie and then me going down (mind you he did play well Wally!). Actually he did with an 18 dart game and first throw! Two down and two to play time for the boys to stand up and be counted which they did in fine style with first Pauly Tyler with the third double nine finish of the night before Hos played a convincing last game to get us a battling draw. Another totter but a good point gained nonetheless. Sea Breeze next week so we’ll see if we can get a win.

All the best

Quiff

POT BLACK 'A' vs. EX SERVICEMENS 'HG'

Capt Cob faces up to the facts :-

"The league is not in our hands"

The biggest match of the darting calendar saw the league leaders (us) take on the ever popular winners of the festival darts league division 1 the Ex Servicemens HG. With us playing at home and only needing to draw the match to almost guarantee the title this year, saw us entering the match as slight favourites and full of confidence!

The draw was done and on paper it looked a fairly decent draw! A quick tally up of the matches saw a 6 - 6 result!

First doubles on (one we really fancied) with Knightsy/Tasker was ours to win, but no-one had prepared themselves for what was to unveil ! They were in scintillating form with at least three high scores and 100's down the board which gave them the first doubles! The next two matches went the same way as the HG produced some quite breathtaking darts at times! We finally got a leg on the board with 'One size fits all' and 'Dunston' (returning from a few weeks away to cover Bardy) as the score stood at 1 - 3 !

Singles next and what seemed a big mountain to climb!

I think Liquids was up first and again this week he struggled to find any form with his Taylor darts as we went another leg behind! 'Serious' next and 2 - 4. Maybe we still had something to play for as the time spirit rallied on!

'Skip' up next and seemed to chase the match to the death as he missed his double start. Given an opportunity on 100+ finish we all sat in hope and anticipation........ Bish, Bash, Bosh! Get in there, as the place erupted and left the snooker players wondering if it was in fact a darts club with a few snooker tables!!!! 3 - 4 and the team seemed to be more vocal and excited ! Next up was 'Smasher' who had the daunting task of facing the legend that is Andy Honeyman! Andy struggled all night but not as much as 'Smasher' did to finally get away! Once he was in he came down the board like a steam train, and never expected to get a sniff at a double, but with a very nervous double two attempt from Andy saw 'Smasher' get his chance like 'Skip' on 100+........Bing, Bang, Bong! 4 - 4. I have never experienced such a high quality atmosphere in my life. The snooker players and other bar regulars were now surrounding the board to watch the remaining 4 legs. Just two more needed now which seemed like luck was shinning on us!

The Snatch-u-ral vs Briggo was a massive turning point in the match. Ed finally got his game together this week and looked to have an assailable lead, but with three big scores and a tidy finish from Briggo (thought he should have taken one for the team) saw us surrender the advantage! 'Dunston' next and more bad luck as Knightsy seemed to have more bottle than Taylor in a final leg decider to finish off 60 as Al had made a mistake on 53 when hitting the double 13 with 2 darts left!

4 - 6 and it was now or never as I took on Tasker! Both got away and I began to establish a small lead and steal the darts away. This only pi$$ed Dave off as he rallied 140, 137 and missed 100+ finish to finish it next throw and seal the win together with the 2008/09 title! 'HUD' on last and the final score was 4 - 8!

I would just like to add, that match had to be the best game in the league's history with 26 high scores (11 - 15), many 90-100 scores, high finishes and an unbelievable atmosphere!

Well done on the night lads but it was a master class performance from the HG! Well done guys, hope you don't drop a point somewhere (wish) !!!!!!

Doh!

Other events

Smasher
Question; Would you say he is a strong drinker on a Friday night?
Answer; Not this week!

Story; All pretty fed up with the darts result so we thought it would be a good idea to get smashed (excuse the pun)! Sambuka 'Black' was a nice drink to wash down a Guinness and a Jacques with but not for the young pretender, once an England International ! I caught a glimpse of him holding his month at the bar as he looked to produce a small sick in the mouth which he swallowed back down the hatch! I said that was close and he just laughed! 5 minutes later as we started to move away from him it all started to happen. . . . . . First the fake sick actions, then the pink Diesel started to work its way through the fingers, then more out of the nose, finally there was no control as he opened wide and pink gunge came pouring out at the bar! He finally decided to go to the toilets and clean up his act. Whilst in the toilets he had a visit from the bouncer who said . . . . . 'YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW"!

Stacey
Question; Have you ever seen Mr Chilingworth at the Pot Black when Stacey has not been working behind the bar?
Answer; NO! Stacey worked Wed & Fri and Gav went to the Pot Black Wed & Fri !!!!!

Golf - A Friendly Game
Question; Have you ever hit some one with a golf shot
Answer; I have now!

Story; Par 3 at Rookery and I had found the bunker. The other players assessed their positions and were ready to play their next shot. As I lined up in the bunker Paul was approx 30 degrees to my left looking at the ground not paying much attention. I managed to get a flyer out of the bunker which headed towards the unsuspecting Paul. Within a second it had struck him on the side of the head (just above the eye)! Paul fell straight to the ground and I watched my ball come back past where I had just played my shot from!

$hit we all panicked (we really did)! Paul had a small cut and a massive ball indentation lump on his head! He seemed ok until he played his next shot which went straight! The main thing is that Me and Fluffy won the match on the 18th after he finally contributed to a hole with a fine birdie (I'd already secured a par) !

Saturday Night
Question; HUD & CHILLI had a little more to drink than normal! Where did you end up then guys?
Answer; A Party at Stacey's mum!
Question; What time did you get in?
Answer; We didn't make it home!
Question; Where did you sleep???
Answer; Gav - On the bathroom floor!, HUD - Wherever someone put me! Do I look like I give a F # # # !

That's it guys, see you next week.

Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx

A-TEAM WRITE UP

(MR NOISY'S BACK!!!)

Ex Sevicemens 'D' vs. Pot Black 'A'

Well all I can say is thank god the blog was covered in my absence by the always very useless 'Weekend Sportsman'. In his defence I think he covered proceedings quite well especially last week as he made decent notes!!!

To clarify the note about 'Smashers' first pint! This was the first drink he had ever taken from winning a leg of darts!

With some good results of late and with the match the following week against Ex Sevicemens 'HG' it was a game to make our mark in, and we certainly did that. High scores galore (for us anyway) and decent performances from all our players which was reflected in the final score line of 12 - 0.

'Weekend' was out classed in the double starting this week as I had returned!!! 148 and 88 in the doubles and singles respectively shows the No.1 status clearly is me!

Next weeks game was the main talking point all night especially with people potentially AWOL!

Craig the 'Skip' is on a course and will be back a little late! - At least he's drinking this week!
Matt 'One size fits all' could be missing with a job miles away!
Alan 'Dunston' quit the team earlier in the season!
Spence 'Sheepy' is missing for the match!
'Bardy' needs to rearrange a shift at work!

Lets just hope come Friday we have at least 8 (excluding you two 'Fluffy' and 'Freecabs')!

Other news

1/ No Stacey behind the bar so no 'Chillo' - I'm sure they're totally unconnected!
2/ Liar dice was not won by me for a change (who cares then!) but I made to first time calls of liar on 'Liquids' to knock off a couple of his lives.
3/ Freecabs running smoothly and timely this week as there was no need to travel across the other side of town for 'Weekend'
4/ 'Weekend' still officially know to his closest friends as T _ A T !
5/ All participants at the 'Snake-bite Saturday' event at the Pot Black have lived to tell the tale! According to T _ A T "the night isn't over until I've had a Jacques" !

Joke Corner

A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker, "Do these chickens get any bigger?" He replied, "No, they're dead."

Vice Skip
Capt Cob
Linx