POTBLACK B V MARQUIS B 7 TH AUGUST 2009

Hi Potty B darts fans.

Following last weeks friendly with the A team, the season kicked off on Friday at home to the Marquis B. After our marvellous season last year, we find ourselves highly rated with the bookies and were 1-7 to win our opening game. Missing Mother Gooch but with new signing Stavros Hoskin, the team was buoyed before the start by a surprise arrival. At one minute to seven (1 to 7), the lesser spotted Pauly Gallagher arrived and in true Freddie Flintoff fashion declared himself fit to play.

And so to the match. The first pairs saw quiff and hos get off to a slow start only to greatly improve and provide a quick finish to get us under way. We were slightly assisted by ozzie on the chalks who caused one of our opponents to waste 2 darts by calling a starting double in when it wasn’t! He later blamed his eyesight, which has been described as Mr Magoo wearing blinkers! The second game paired the ever-reliable Bungle with new boy Darren. The latter seemed a bit tense on his debut but a very tidy game from Bill saw us 2-0 up. Then came ozzie and Freddie Gallagher. An excellent game from both with Paul looking like he had been practising all summer saw oz leave 88. A quick phone call to Ladbrokes confirmed the odds were 7-1 against Paul hitting it but, unperturbed, he stepped up and took it out in 2 darts. After taking the accolades, he admitted he had been practising all summer! We are looking forward to his next game but unfortunately there will be a long wait as he usually plays one then misses seven (that’s 1-7, what is it with these numbers???) moysie and shoot em up were last pair but struggled against good opponents. Despite this they had darts at a double but couldn’t take so the pairs finished 3-1 to us.

Clint Tyler was first in the singles and played really well to win. Moysie then took advantage of his opponents inability to finish and despite suffering brain freeze on 48 (7, 3, 38, missed!) he managed to nick it. This took us five one up and we were hoping for an emphatic 7-1 (there’s that score again). Unfortunately Wally wasn’t able to keep the momentum going and was disappointed after a couple of poor throws led to a loss. That was to be the last game we would lose on the night with very solid games from Bungle, Hos, Oz, Shoot em up and yours truly sealing a convincing 10-2 win.

A good start to the season with two points and a goal difference of +8, thats one more than Colchester!

Straight into the fire next week when we play the A Team, will let you know what happens.

See you soon

Quiff

A-TEAM WRITE UP (NOISY'S BACK!)

Well well well, doesn't the summer get shorter every year? Back to playing darts in the winter league which starts in early august! Nice to see we made an efffort and had the shorts and sandels out lads!

I had a look on the Internet and checked out this years fixtures! I'm not suggesting that having DT as secretary influenced the order we play each team, but we do seem to have last years top 7 sides in the first 7 weeks!!!

With the departure of Sheepy and Liquids for this season our side looked stronger than ever! With Serious' new job, Bardy working at Ipswich and the V festival coming up it looks like Fluffy Senior and G Chillingwood were almost certain to feature! Look out Homeguard!

First match was away to Marquis of Lorne! What a start to the season. The best grub in Lowestoft playing a side that we've taken our least points off in recent years! They really are our bogey side. We always look back on the games after the match to work out the score and find ourselves somewhat bemused that the result is 6 - 6!

This year things will be different!

With the side full of insults to each other, a loud and giggly atmosphere we seemed more relaxed than ever! We really couldn't give a $hit about the results this year we just wanted to laugh all night! And we did laugh quite alot during the doubles match of Fluff and Tw@t, surely our strongest pair!

The doubles were all fairly close but not as close as Fluffy's D11 to win the leg! First dart smashed the outside wire and blocked his approach for his second dart. Second dart rattled the first dart and hung onto the board somehow just inside the wire. With the other team on a double we all were anticipating the most outrageous attempt from Fluffy. He didn't disappoint when he eventually released the dart to hit single 3 to leave D4! The anticipated dart at D11 and knocking out the second dart seemed to much for Fluffy as he hung onto his dart for a bit!!!
That was the only doubles we lost as we raced into a 3 - 1 lead!


Next up was Serious in the best game of the evening! He played Gavin Peek as they traded ton plus starts and matched each other down the board. In the end Serious managed to win the leg after Gavin had left himself a double. Ouch!
Bardy was up next and you could say we all smiled a little wider than normal as he beat Sheepy!!!

Skip was next and saw his chances of 30/30 go out the window as the H2O guzzler struggled to hit the winning double!

Snatch-u-ral was up next and after a fantastic start seemed to have given the leg away with some horrific scoring only to be bettered by our talisman Tw@t later on! One dart left in his hand and DTOP going, the outcome didn't disappoint.

The draw was now secure at 6 - 2 although we had Fluff and Tw@t to play, Smasher on water (which was painful) and big balls Linx on last!


We seemed to have accepted the draw at this point, well at least Tw@t did with his usual shocking display! Fluffy was next and luckily for us was drawn against Micky Wooltorton! Fluff seemed to relish the oppotunity and had glimpses of his old self! That was when he was thirteen and not drinking alcohol rather than his fluent throwing (thanks for driving)! Sitting on 90 something he saw MW take out a 136 to make the score 6 - 4.

Next was Smasher who was drawn against Graham Pavey! I have to confess here that drinking water was more of a problem than his apponent as he was throwing some very loose darts! The double at the end was painful as we could see Graham gaining on him to get a shot at 34. First dart in the 2, second in the hole of 16, you can guess where the third went . . . . . . . . No! It was only a 16! That was enough to kick Smasher up the ar$e as he secured the win with D2.

Next was me, Cobby, and with no interest in the last match I eased home to victory making the final score 8 - 4.


Well done lads, lets see if we can do the same next week without Serious and Bardy! lol

A big congratulations to Bardy who is expecting his first child! Well his partner is expecting, Bardy's the father.


Team 2009/10

Craig Harrod (Skip) - Captain
Ryan Lincoln (Captain Cob) - Vice Captain
Matty Hook (Serious)
Eddy Lark (Snatch-u-ral)
Danny Bardwell (Bardy)
Craig George (Smasher)
Gary Flatt (Fluffy, Extreme Foam)
Darren Gotts (Gottsy, Gottsfreecabs)
Gavin Chillingworth (Chillo, Jesus)
R Flatt (Fluffy senior, Eyebrows)
Ash Moore (Chris Griffin Family Guy)


Oh! I nearly forgot someone . . . . . . .
Paul Harrod (Tw@t, Hud, Weekend Sportsman)

Joke corner


Ever wondered who the jury was in the recent Stevie G trial? See below!










I love you guys,


and I love my Fridays!



See you next week.



Linx



Vice Capt

B-TEAM PRE-SEASON

Hi to all you Potty B darts fans.

After a long summer break we have reached that time of year again with the winter (yes winter) league starting next week (if the season start gets any earlier we will be starting next season before we finish this one!).

We have been a bit quiet in the transfer window with only one main signing, namely Darren Hoskin, joining us on a Bosman. We feel this could be a valuable signing provided we can get him away from the bar to go to away games but at least we haven’t got to fly anywhere so there is hope!

Our pre-season programme has been going well with many of the team turning out regularly every Friday for pint lifting training session to keep their elbows limbered up. Mother Gooch elected to use the summer break to relax and recuperate after a tough season last year, Tommo has departed to foreign shores (Leiston) and the police currently have a missing persons report out on Paul Gallagher!

A couple of players decided to tone their games by playing in the Summer league, the most successful of these being Wally who played with the youngsters and has returned to us looking sharp with his game fully honed. He has also gained a fresh nickname “Paedo” which was given to him by his own son Max (does anyone else find this slightly disturbing).

Our pre season preparations were finalised last night with a high profile friendly against none other than premiership high fliers, our A team. A little bit thin on the ground and missing Goochy, Moysie, Oz, Stridey and the Yid it gave us the chance to blood a couple of trialists in Jules (I cant play darts) and Ian (I haven’t thrown a dart for 2 years) Blake.

As you might expect from two serious darting sides the match was fiercely competitive and played with the utmost respect and consideration for the opponents (yeah right).

On a night when regular pairings had to be juggled about the opening match saw Wally and Clint play Craig George and Gottsy with Paul hitting a 135 and Wally playing superb to get us off to a winning start. Next up were the brothers Hos who went down to Bardy and Craig with Shaun having to try and bend the flight of the dart more than a Ronaldo free kick to try and hit the board around a dancing Paul Harrod! After the game a spokesman (Darren Hoskin) said “Shaun was shit”. The third game was probably the game of the night with Bungle and debutante Jules playing Links and Chilly. A great score of 118 from Jules fired Billy up to hit a 120 to leave Jules on 59. With their opponents struggling to finish, Jules stepped up and threw for a 19 only to hit a 2! Needing a 17 to leave tops, Jules quick thinking worked out that a phantom breeze was affecting the flight of the dart, so he adjusted perfectly, aimed for a 7 and hit the middle of the 17. With the breeze increasing (is there any end to this bullshit) Jules aimed somewhere above double nine and landed it perfectly in the middle of tops (I did take a picture but after hours of trying get my damned phone to connect to the computer I gave up) for an unlikely steal to take us 2-1 up. It was soon 2-2 after yours truly and Ian struggled to start and lost to Harrod and Flatty.

Hos then took us to 3-2 up with a good win over Craig George hitting the winning double despite some intense barracking, before Darren and Ian both lost to put us behind. I then confused the crowd who were too busy yacking at the start of my game with Bardy and thought I had hit a sixteen darter – trouble was they missed the 9 darts it took me to get away. Well poised at 4-4 we then fell apart with Jules, Wally, Bungle and Paul all losing to leave the result at 8-4 to them.

Not a bad result for our slightly depleted team but is was a useful learning curve as we discovered something that could be vital when we play them in two weeks – the best way to barrack Flatty is to shut up, keep quiet and give him the best of order!

The league starts next Friday at home to the Marquis B so I will be back in regular contact

See you soon

Quiff

LOWESTOFT FESTIVAL DARTS LEAGUE FIXTURES 2009/10

(CLICK ON IMAGES TO VIEW)

THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL

The last game of the season saw the 'un'likely lads make the short trip to the Uplands Community centre. PB were looking to finish their season on a high, and without the seniors (Peado & Snail) there to drag them down, confidence was at a premium.

Jordan 'Pineapple head' Wardrope was drafted in as 9th man in case of any injuries en route, or due to drunkenness resulting in players being incapable of playing. The new edition to the squad created some confusion when the taxis arrived...2 taxis for 9 people? Somehow I don't think so? Cheers Snail! I loved having to drive!(Ready - not quite sure why this is my fault but as long as I won my singles I will forgive!)

The players were in high voice on arrival, and the other teams sighs of 'Oh no, not these lot' were clearly visible. This was further acknowledged when Harvey 'drinking in the afternoon' Cooper rang the bell for last orders in the bar (at 8pm).

News was given before the 1st dart was thrown that all fines would be DOUBLED in aid of wanting to further kill our livers at the end of season p1ss up! In usual fashion, the quadruples and doubles were shared to leave the score perched at 3-3 before the singles. This was quite possibly the loudest the PB boys have been, and the sh1t giving not only went to players in our team, but to players from the Uplands team as well! It must be noted that Butcher won his doubles game again, this time with Jordy 'pineapple head', to maintain his 100% doubles record for the season. Bravo.

The singles began and up first was Junior Wall. The plan of not drinking had gone 5 seconds after walking into the venue, the car was to be left! After some scintillating darts from both players, the Wall pulled out some brilliance with his opponent left on double top to finish with 81 in 2 darts! What a way to lead the troops to a 4-3 lead.

The unexpected results continued like this for the rest of the night with the formbook seeming to go out of the window. Birdy crashed to a shock defeat to somebody who can't play darts (the bloke got a 15 darter, handy!) before Aaron 'off the board' Cooper beat Trigger from Only Fools & Horses. Somehow! The shock on his face was as big as the rest of the PB team.

Dazza was up next and probably the only person to follow form...he LOST! Can't remember how, the leg seemed to go on forever and I can note that the urinal appeared to be alot more interesting at the time. Jason '1000 darts at double 1 Shaggy Same Top' Russell was left to try gain the initiative. The crowd were rather silent after the realisation set in of slipping to another close defeat was likely. BUT, after numerous sporadic treble 12's and treble 18's, and even a double 19, 'Shaggy' was left on 90. Feeling confident in his arm, and thinking to himself it was the last game, he felt an exhibition finish was in order. 20, double top and double 15 later, the crowd erupted. (it took him 1 minute to realise after hitting the double top he was on a finish)

The next leg is good...but for only 1 reason. The FINES. Ashley 'A Team prodigy' Moore was, to put it bluntly, honking. £4 of fines later and he was seated in the corner looking like Darren normally does after being told he wasn't allowed that 1 extra mini fillet burger added to his bargain bucket. Jamie 'false leg' Butcher stood, or hobbled, up next to the oche. 2 big scores over 100 (costing a total of £6.40 for the team!) left people on the edge of their seats, there's no way he could bottle a 200 point lead is there? Well he did, and joined the crying corner with Ash A Team Moore.

Liam 'lager lout, skint as a tramp, wearing Max's clothes' Harvey was last up to salvage a draw. And after a solid, steady leg, jubilant celebrations ensued in the form of a bundle.

7-7...as normal really!!

Another good performance...and a great way to end the season.

PS Harvey spent the fines from the night in Wine Lodge...anybody seen him since?!

Max Wall

DARTING ACCIDENT JIGSAW

Darts is definately not a safe sport down the Pot Black with the newly formed 'Youngsters' Team (+Wally) Look what happen to Atko whilst he was spectating!

See if you can put Tony back together after his accident?

tonyinplaster Jigsaw Puzzle

QUEENS HEAD 12 POTBLACK 2

Queens were so desperate to win our section they got everyone and his dog to play against us.(his dog this time happens to be the one and only ("I'm a good player" Nibby!) We started off with a flyer with THE BIRD taking out D/16 to go 1-0 up. Then you guessed it! Rat's sh*t followed and we are 3-1 down! On came the clubs invincible pairing of "gammy leg" Butch and "Peado" Wall. With the "old git" not getting under 85 they stormed down the board to see the "cripple" take out the double and get another one back! What a stormer!!! We lost the last doubles of the fancied pairing of Rowland and Birdy to finish losing 4-2 heading into the singles.

The singles carried on with a pretty poor showing with Punchy , Rowland, Daaaaaaren, Shaggy, Cripple ,The Bird conceding without so-much as a fight! Family Guy Chris done the team proud but couldn't find the double to get a win.Where was all the noise this week it was more like a Doctor's waiting room! Then it was the game everyone had waited for.The lights went low and the fanfare started! Yes it was what the crowds had flocked to Kessingland to watch, Mick "the Flick" Wall against Queen's best player "moody -Guts!" The Wall threw 3 steady 60's, then 85 a small score to see his opponent get 140 and come back at him! The Pot Black pensioner took another beta blocker and banged in a 100 to leave 119 finish. Moody hit another good score to leave 96. This was it! An onlooker helped the old-boy back onto the stage after he nervously gulped down a large swig of lager to calm his nerves. First dart hit the single 19, second straight into the middle of the treble twenty then with a mighty drum roll it was there, smack into double top, GAME SHOT AND LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!!!!!! He was dancing around as best as he could for a bloke of that age, only for the scorer to stand there stoney faced and say that it was "109 U Wanted!" The tosser, he must have changed the scoreboard while nobody was looking!

The Kaiser Chiefs song of " I predict a riot " Belted out of the Jukebox and the mood turned Max, I mean ugly! Luckily, Pot Blacks "main" man calmed them all down , conceded the game to stop any bloodshed and gallantly led his sombre troops home. I just hope they all take note of

his unselfishness to the team of having to give up his game for the sake of keeping the peace!

As it was ( according to the write-ups for the season) it was the one and only win he's had this summer, what a brilliant martyr he is!!!!

Next weeks game is orf because the Dutchmans were Bricking it and would rather pull out of the League than play the mighty Pot Black. Last game of the season is at the Uplands and the mighty Wall Senior is doing a dart exhibition in Turkey, so good luck , you'll bloody well need it!!!