Return of the Gunslinger

Third game of the season and our first home match, against the KPSCCSSPSCCSC. Having missed the first two games due to holiday, or lack of match fitness, our very own gunslinger Dave (shoot-em-up) Stride was back to bolster the team in search of our first win of the year.

Despite Dave’s return we were still a bit tight for numbers with a few absentees, noticeably Tommo (Hogmanay), Steve Northfield (Yom Kippur) and Paul Gallagher (Ipswich Town class of ’78 reunion). We had 9 available on the night but Wally decided he did not wish to play so we went with a straight 8.

First up were Moysie and Oz who went down and they were followed by Myself and Hos. This proved to be a second loss which could have been a lot better if Hos had a partner. There is a phrase that sums up how I played but I can’t quite remember it (something to do with the words “cows” “arse” and “banjo”). Obviously there were no whinging excuses (but if I ever catch the toe-rag who nicked my darts he’ll be for it!). So we are now 2-0 down and generating about as much crowd interest as a home game at Carrow Road when it was time for our in-form pair of Bungle and the Legend to take to the oche. We were very lucky they were there as neither of them had a pair of trousers to wear. Fortunately the problem was solved as Ronnie Corbett is performing in the area and they managed to borrow a couple of pairs from him (at least they covered their knees!). These reliable players did not disappoint and pulled it back to 2-1. Next up was Paul Tyler playing with Dave Stride making his season debut. A close game saw it all come down to a finishing double and after several attempts each, Shoot-em-up went for double two. After two darts on the wire, the third found its mark right in the corner. It was so close that Dave himself was not even sure it was in, so we were not treated to the usual flambuoyant finish of a Robin Cousinsesque triple salko into a handshake.

At least the scores were now level but the standard had been so poor Wally was starting to wonder why he elected not to play. The singles started with good wins for Eagle Eyes and Lurch but we were soon pegged back following losses for Shoot-Em-Up and Bungle. Our 2 game lead was restored by Oz followed by me (redeeming myself after the C*!p doubles game and even finding a 76 finish), before Hos lost to leave it all on the last game for a win. Cometh the hour, cometh the legend! Goeth the game, goeth the Legend! Trev on last couldn’t find a win so we finished with a second consecutive draw.

Question – how do you win a game of liar dice in the “B” team?
Answer – start the game while the Captain is still signing the card and has to miss out. First game to Bungle, second to me, that’s the third in two weeks now, come on boys!

See you next week
Quiff

p.s don’t forget the big Yarmouth excursion next Saturday.