A-TEAM WRITE UP

Another week goes by and another top 8 side in the first 7 matches! Cheers Dave!

Good news was heard by all this week! No it wasn't that Bardy couldn't make it (as his form was suspect of late)! It was Gottsfreecabs night again! This week it actually was Gottsfreecabs night! Again, for those that missed the picture last week I've added a more up to date photo for you to remember who we're talking about!



Don't ask me what he's doing holding a set of darts? It's for the cameras really and setting the scene!!!

Ole Frank away this week and we knew it would be another tough match, especially as TW@T was still playing for us this week!

Doubles

Well first up was TW@T relying on my strong (fat) shoulders as usual. Another high start from me made me smile. Not from a journal point of view, just because I could handle TW@T throwing second and hitting the a treble first dart, the tyre with the second and getting us away with a double on his last!!!

It was a tidy leg from us both (mainly me) and a lead away from home 0 - 1

Next was our famous two who reached the final last year, Skip and Snatch-u-ral! They had a tough match against Gary Bull and Paul Hunter. Bully was superb in the leg with a 112st, 180 and a 100 to leave us well behind and drawing the match level 1 - 1

Smasher and Fluff next up and again, a tough match against Wilson and Eddy. Me and skip debated who should start this leg as fluffy in my opinion is a reliable st-t-t-t-tarter! Skip went with Smasher and he went 152 away (that's why he is captain)! Kept our noses in front through the leg and edged it to take the lead again 1 - 2.

Serious and Gottsfreecabs (debut) next up and . . . . . 1 - 3 OMG! PS - Serious hit a 140 and he'll kill me if I don't mention it!

Singles

G Bull vs Fluffy. Not sure whether the pressure of the match was a factor or the amount of alcohol consumed was? It was a slightly less impressive performance than last weeks 16 dart leg and our second leg lost of the night 2 - 3.

Rubber Lips vs Skip. Skip was not really in the leg at all and was relying on some missed doubles towards the end of the leg to make the leg look closer! Many missed darts later and Skip stole the leg, with a very jubilant "Happy Birthday" was yelled out by the Pot Black boys 2 - 4!

Eddy vs Gottsfreecabs. With a victory already in the doubles we were just glad he could make it this week so we didn't have to play Chillo!!! With some handy darts thrown during the leg and a little luck on the way Gottsfreecabs produced another leg for us 2 - 5

B Bull vs Snatch-u-ral. The match was going our way so far, but we tried to hide our excitment and push on for the 6th and 7th legs! Can't remember too many fireworks in the leg but I know we liked the scoreline afterwards 2 - 6

The 6th leg in the bag and 4 more singles to get it from. . . . . .

G Cooper vs TW@T. Simply awful! 3 - 6

D Barkes vs Serious. OUCH! 4 - 6

S Wilson vs Smasher. DOH! 5 - 6

and finally. . . . .

Y Ergus vs Me. Cheers

If starting is my strong point then I'd hate to see me weak points as it took me 6 to get away (unnheard of)! Steady scoring with a 100 and 96 + a million 60's saw me take the lead in the leg. Sitting on 160 with my opponent to throw on 204 felt comfortable until T20, T20, S20 left him on 64. Another 100 to leave 60 was all I could manage before he had his chance! One dart I think at D16 (hit a single 8) meant it was now or never for me! But not before Fluffy had a few words with someone standing next to the oche helping him count and ready to be in my eyeline!!! Fluff had him moved away and so we continue, S20, wire of D20 and wire D10 meant "NEVER"! Absolutely dejected I could only wish for him to miss! I think D12 was his least favourite double as he failed to get closer than his first dart thrown. Here we go. . . . BOOM! 2nd dart in D10! And a bloody big sigh of reliEf I can tell you!

5 - 7

Well done you little beauties!

Other news

1/ Vinny makes an appearence with the boys and plays horrifically at liar dice!
2/ Chillo wins Liar Dice!
3/ Vinny get the shots in and Fluff has it coming out of his nose!
4/ Ricky finally buys a round
5/ I brought some money with me this week!
6/ Flames has it's first visit of the season courtesy of the extremely hungry Gottsfreecabs.
7/ Dart players love to eat at Flames, don't they Peter Wright?

Joke Corner

Did you hear about the new blonde paint?It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy

Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?More leg-room!

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board


See you all soon guys!

Linx
Capt Cob
Vice Skip

B-TEAM REPORT

ON FORM STAVROS

Hi Guys

Its been a couple of weeks primarily because last weeks game was so sad I really couldn’t think of words to describe it. Away to the hearts of oak we didn’t really play that bad but they were hitting every double 1st dart and we lost the doubles 4-0 despite the efforts of Odd Job who was as relaxed as a newt before we even started. Still he had good reason to celebrate so we don’t begrudge him – congratulations Paul. Anyway after the doubles their team started with the singing and that was about it. We went down 10-2 with Moysie and Darren the only winners taking advantage of the only legs they didn’t finish quickly. Our 100% losing away record still intact.

So to last night and the visit of the Working Mens Club. Last year we won this fixture by playing badly and them playing slightly worse and it looked like this was going to be the same. Moysie and Darren then me and Hos won the first two before Clint and Dave lost the third. The Big Toe and Bungle then won the 4th leg before me and Clint won the first two singles. We found ourselves 5-1 up and the only way to describe it was a struggle. Bungle was next and well ahead of a struggling Dave Cable before Dave somehow found a 112 finish to nick it. From there, Moysie and Oz both lost before Goochy went on to get us the draw. We then needed 1 from the last two and Shoot em up was unlucky to see his opponent finish on 66 after he had missed 72. Last on was the in form Stavros who had won two on the trot before this. Although he played ok his opponent was too good with two high scores and Darren lost to leave the result at 6-6.

Our first draw of the season and we have lost our 100% home record but at least its another point. We’ll take the same next week away to the Home Guard, with the Hos brothers definitely missing and me probably not there either.

Good luck boys

See you soon

Quiff

A-TEAM REPORT

Another week goes by and another top 8 side in the first 6 matches! Cheers Dave!

Some good news though, gottsfreecabs were back this week, yeah! Oh, that was until I had the classic "under the thumb" text message from him saying "they" (that'll be him and his new best friend - don't forget us please) wouldn't be back till late (guessing about 7:30 to 8:00) so won't be worth (can't be bothered) coming out for darts! SHOCKER!!!!!

Just for all of us really I've added a picture so we don't forget what he looks like!

Back to the darts now and we were at home to the LTFC! to summarise the matches and because I got told off for getting some of the matches wrong in last weeks report I've decided to be more accurate this week . . . . .

We won 9 - 3

Serious and Bardy losing in the doubles and in the singles, Snatch-u-ral and . . . . . Correct, Tw@t!

High scores below

I must now point out our new signing for this season! Yet to win a singles match (not you Ash) but throwing like he was 16 again it's Fluffy! We're not sure how he's managed to look like a dart player again, but he showed that he still had the old magic left in him (suprisingly after he'd played with Tw@t in the doubles) with a very fine 16 dart leg, our best of the season so far! Are you taking note Serious???

Some put his change in form down to 4 hours practice every night or afternoon when he leaves work early!

Others would say it's because Tw@t is so bad at darts now (he was bad before I know) and losing such heavy weights like Liquids (literally) and Sheepy, that Fluffy was reborn as a gift from above to help the pot black side get at least 6 legs each week!

But I believe it's because he's improved his image . . . . .

Anyway, well done for winning this week boys. Make sure you learn to duck and weave this week cause we might need it against the Ole Frank!!!

Other news

Fluffy finds someones key in a taxi and then realises it's for his front door! Don't wake your wife up again Fluffy!

Joke corner

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Paul is getting a check up. The doctor says, "Paul, you need to stop masturbating." Paul says, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I am trying to examine you."

See you all soon! You too Gottsy!

Linx

Capt Cob

Vice Skip

B-TEAM REPORT

Another Friday and another night struggling to find eight players to turn out and play. Still without the Big Toe (should be alright from now on as it will be too dark to play golf), missing our star of last week, Odd Job, Moysie working and the strangest excuse ever from Yid “I’m going to Norwich to pick up a boiler”. Come on Steve I’m sure you’ve done that plenty of times before and why did you have to go to Norwich, there must be plenty in Lowestoft!

Anyway, on to the game with me and Hos up first against R Barneveld and P Taylor (alright not really but it felt like it after a 140, 121 and a bull finish). 1-0 down and we played alright! Bungle and Magoo then got us going with game described by Wally as excellent followed by Shoot em up and Clint with guns blazing to get us ahead. Wally and Stavros were last on and despite good play especially from Darren, they unfortunately couldn’t finish and we ended the doubles at 2-2.

First on in the singles was Darren who played really well and hit a first dart finish to earn his first win of the season against Rousey, one of our Summer transfer targets! Very good games from Bungle and Stridey including a triple salko (from Dave not Billy) and we were 5-2 up. Hos then struggled to finish before I got a win to get us a point. A further hiccup from Paul Tyler before an excellent game under pressure from Ozzie secured the win. Wally on last also played well to give us an 8-4 win.

Good news we are still 100% at home.
Bad news we are still 0% away
Worse news we are away next week to Hearts of Oak
Really terrible news we will be struggling for players again with Hos, Magoo and Yid away sunning themselves in Corfu.

Still, we should have the Big Toe, Odd Job and Moysie back so we should be OK

See you soon

Quiff

A-TEAM REPORT

The biggest test of the season so far then guys!

What? Trying to get half the team to drink alcohol? No! Playing against the Ex Serv HG!!!

I'll try and some up as best I can as I'm still waiting for a copy of the book from Skip!

No Gottsfreecabs again this week but I've heard a rumour that he might be there on Friday?

Fluffy now has a board up at home and is hoping to be the best player in the world again! He showed good form practicing up the pot black before the match but how would his nerves hold up in a tense game later in the evening??

Doubles picked and on with the show!

Serious and Bardy + Skip and Snatch-u-ral and we shared the legs! 1 - 1

Next up our best pair, Fluffy and HUD so you can guess the rest!!!!! WRONG! 2 - 1 up now! (mainly due to the extremely strong shoulders of Fluff)

Me and Smasher next and it seemed a little harsh losing with 68 away, a 140, 100, 100, 100 and a near miss at the doubles saw the match back at 2 - 2!

On with the singles and we were heavily stacked at the start with Serious, Me and Skip on first three!

cha-ching 3 - 2

cha-ching 4 - 2

cha-ching 5 - 2

After dropping 3 points from the first 8 in the league could we finally turn into a title winning team???

Smasher first to go and :-( 5 - 3!

HUD next and 4 darts a D20 to win the leg :-( 5 - 4!

Best player in the world next, Fluffy! Just a shame you drew Danny W :-( 5 - 5! Fluffy did look very tidy indeed, a decent signing it would seem! (please, please, please tell me it's not just a one off)

Bardy next and was well in control throughout the leg. Six darts at a double and, OUCH! 5 - 6!

Snatch-u-ral last against Dave Tasker and......................Bugger! 5 - 7!

Real shame we didn't get anything out of the match! Should have been at least a draw on the legs we got pinched from us but a win was probably what we deserved!

Roll on next week for our battle against the top 8 sides from last year vs LTFC!

Oh, and the following week against Ole Frank!!!!!

Other News

Ever thought after a couple of years visiting a bar and drinking enormous amounts alcohol and even once being sick in front of the barmaids that you'd one day find yourself being asked for ID?

Well this fellow did!

Smasher

Joke Corner

Ever wondered where the term ' Knob Head' came from?

Linx
Capt Cob
Vice Skip

A-TEAM REPORT

Well well well lads! Where do I start this week?

Is it that Chillo was making his Friday night festival league debut (OMG)!

or........

Was it that Gottsy finished his golf well in time to play but still couldn't be bothered to turn out and play for us!

or........

Was it that more players now drink water than any other alcoholic beverage?

Anyway, I'll be summing up all those points later in the blog!

At home this week to the Hearts of Oak, and we were under no illusion that we were the underdogs for this match! Not because Chillo was playing for us (well it sort of was really) but that Smasher turned up a bit later than expected and was drinking water!!!!

Well after skip had made the draw we knew we needed to be 3 - 1 up in the doubles to aim for a draw! We led 2 - 1 after a happy birthday for the first doubles with Me and HUD on last pair! with a score of 7 in the leg and three wasted darts at D15 from HUD we deserved to be 2 - 2 after the doubles! (HUD did say he played quite well as usual!)

Me up against Jamesy in the first singles which was a must win saw a tight match down the board! Thanks to T18 last dart on two visits saw me keep my nose in front to finally see James drop in with a 136 to leave D3 (T17 instead of a single)! 112 was my ticket out of here but an awful attempt at D16 which HUD might have gotten closer too saw Jamesy get his chance! Three missed darts later and D12 first dart was enough to get the ball rolling again!

Ash vs Millsy next and with Millsy struggling to get away Ash made inroads toward the double. He finally left D6 but Millsy was hot on his tail now. Nerves seemed to get the better of Ash as he hit a big 13 on his first attempt but got a second chance. One on the wire which seemed to be in his way meant Millsy got the opportunity he needed and the score then became 3 -3! With Chillo still to come and Smasher looking shaky at best on water we needed our big guns to shine through!!!

Skip had another tidy performance but like the doubles match was denied by the wires! Both teams had numerous bounce outs all night! Skip started to build a decent lead against Nick Elliot who couldn't hit a barn door!!! Well he couldn't until 2 x 80+ a ton and a near miss on 156, which happened to be just enough to get another visit to the board and sneak them into the lead!

Now I can't remember the order that followed but I certainly remember the match which saw the very nervous Chillo making his debut. What a surprise we all had when Chillo managed to get away pretty quickly! Darts being wasted by throwing them off the board just added to Chillos disappointment as he soon became the next victim and the score was now 3 - 5. At least you had the balls to turn up and play for us when we were short Chillo, which is more than can be said for the guy with a new woman, forgotten his name!

Smasher was next up and the water was the difference in this leg let me tell you! 112 away and you think hes nailed the leg, but not being able to hit a big twenty with any of his next throws and HUD being ordered to the toilets by me because he was laughing too loud, kind a sums up the leg! At least you were there Smasher which is all we ask from the players, unlike the unknown cab driver who has a new best friend!!!

3 - 6 and HUD up next!!!!!




4 - 6 and the Weekend Sportsman came through for us!

Snatch-u-ral up next and Serious on Water, oh, I meant on last, gave us some hope!

4 - 7

4 - 8

And the hope had all faded!!!

Never mind guys! HG next week to look forward too!

(any chance of anyone drinking for the occasion???)

Other News

Skip asked me to keep an eye on his brother as he had left him in charge of the results card which needed passing to Dave Tasker! A phone call followed from Skip on Monday evening asking if HUD had passed the card to me as Dave hadn't received it and HUD was denying that he ever had the card! 15 minutes and a text from skip later confirmed (by his mother) that HUD did have the card as there was a crumpled paper mess in the back of his jean pocket after they had been through the wash!

Three new girls at the bar this week when we played spoof and HUD asked me if I knew who the one on the right looked like??? I said that I would drink my own pi$$ if she wasn't Harry Burgess' daughter because at some angles it was actually Harry in a long dark wig! She obviously found this quite insulting but mentioned how her brother was regretting not joining the Pot Black 'A' side this year! She said that he'll definitely be playing for us next year!

The other girl in the middle, Becky, aka Duncan Bannatyne was a right scream. I remember saying that she had an awful Irish accent which sounded fake (obviously winding the jock up) before HUD stepped in and asked what accent it was??? She sounded just like Dave Tommo with a slightly deeper voice but HUD was still unsure!!!!!

I then remember asking her where she got the enormous earrings from which would have made Pat Butcher jealous! She mumbled something in a foreign language (Jock) before I replied
" Your earrings are too big, they look $hit, and for those reasons I shan't be investing, I'm ooout"!

Ricky won the game of Liar Dice!

HUD destroyed the spoof legend 'Wally' at heads up spoof!

I had to get a taxi home! Where the fcuk is Gottsy! Lol

Joke Corner

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

See you all soon

Capt Cob
Vice Skip
Linx