Well well well lads! Where do I start this week?
Is it that Chillo was making his Friday night festival league debut (OMG)!
or........
Was it that Gottsy finished his golf well in time to play but still couldn't be bothered to turn out and play for us!
or........
Was it that more players now drink water than any other alcoholic beverage?
Anyway, I'll be summing up all those points later in the blog!
At home this week to the Hearts of Oak, and we were under no illusion that we were the underdogs for this match! Not because Chillo was playing for us (well it sort of was really) but that Smasher turned up a bit later than expected and was drinking water!!!!
Well after skip had made the draw we knew we needed to be 3 - 1 up in the doubles to aim for a draw! We led 2 - 1 after a happy birthday for the first doubles with Me and HUD on last pair! with a score of 7 in the leg and three wasted darts at D15 from HUD we deserved to be 2 - 2 after the doubles! (HUD did say he played quite well as usual!)
Me up against Jamesy in the first singles which was a must win saw a tight match down the board! Thanks to T18 last dart on two visits saw me keep my nose in front to finally see James drop in with a 136 to leave D3 (T17 instead of a single)! 112 was my ticket out of here but an awful attempt at D16 which HUD might have gotten closer too saw Jamesy get his chance! Three missed darts later and D12 first dart was enough to get the ball rolling again!
Ash vs Millsy next and with Millsy struggling to get away Ash made inroads toward the double. He finally left D6 but Millsy was hot on his tail now. Nerves seemed to get the better of Ash as he hit a big 13 on his first attempt but got a second chance. One on the wire which seemed to be in his way meant Millsy got the opportunity he needed and the score then became 3 -3! With Chillo still to come and Smasher looking shaky at best on water we needed our big guns to shine through!!!
Skip had another tidy performance but like the doubles match was denied by the wires! Both teams had numerous bounce outs all night! Skip started to build a decent lead against Nick Elliot who couldn't hit a barn door!!! Well he couldn't until 2 x 80+ a ton and a near miss on 156, which happened to be just enough to get another visit to the board and sneak them into the lead!
Now I can't remember the order that followed but I certainly remember the match which saw the very nervous Chillo making his debut. What a surprise we all had when Chillo managed to get away pretty quickly! Darts being wasted by throwing them off the board just added to Chillos disappointment as he soon became the next victim and the score was now 3 - 5. At least you had the balls to turn up and play for us when we were short Chillo, which is more than can be said for the guy with a new woman, forgotten his name!
Smasher was next up and the water was the difference in this leg let me tell you! 112 away and you think hes nailed the leg, but not being able to hit a big twenty with any of his next throws and HUD being ordered to the toilets by me because he was laughing too loud, kind a sums up the leg! At least you were there Smasher which is all we ask from the players, unlike the unknown cab driver who has a new best friend!!!
3 - 6 and HUD up next!!!!!
4 - 6 and the Weekend Sportsman came through for us!
Snatch-u-ral up next and Serious on Water, oh, I meant on last, gave us some hope!
4 - 7
4 - 8
And the hope had all faded!!!
Never mind guys! HG next week to look forward too!
(any chance of anyone drinking for the occasion???)
Is it that Chillo was making his Friday night festival league debut (OMG)!
or........
Was it that Gottsy finished his golf well in time to play but still couldn't be bothered to turn out and play for us!
or........
Was it that more players now drink water than any other alcoholic beverage?
Anyway, I'll be summing up all those points later in the blog!
At home this week to the Hearts of Oak, and we were under no illusion that we were the underdogs for this match! Not because Chillo was playing for us (well it sort of was really) but that Smasher turned up a bit later than expected and was drinking water!!!!
Well after skip had made the draw we knew we needed to be 3 - 1 up in the doubles to aim for a draw! We led 2 - 1 after a happy birthday for the first doubles with Me and HUD on last pair! with a score of 7 in the leg and three wasted darts at D15 from HUD we deserved to be 2 - 2 after the doubles! (HUD did say he played quite well as usual!)
Me up against Jamesy in the first singles which was a must win saw a tight match down the board! Thanks to T18 last dart on two visits saw me keep my nose in front to finally see James drop in with a 136 to leave D3 (T17 instead of a single)! 112 was my ticket out of here but an awful attempt at D16 which HUD might have gotten closer too saw Jamesy get his chance! Three missed darts later and D12 first dart was enough to get the ball rolling again!
Ash vs Millsy next and with Millsy struggling to get away Ash made inroads toward the double. He finally left D6 but Millsy was hot on his tail now. Nerves seemed to get the better of Ash as he hit a big 13 on his first attempt but got a second chance. One on the wire which seemed to be in his way meant Millsy got the opportunity he needed and the score then became 3 -3! With Chillo still to come and Smasher looking shaky at best on water we needed our big guns to shine through!!!
Skip had another tidy performance but like the doubles match was denied by the wires! Both teams had numerous bounce outs all night! Skip started to build a decent lead against Nick Elliot who couldn't hit a barn door!!! Well he couldn't until 2 x 80+ a ton and a near miss on 156, which happened to be just enough to get another visit to the board and sneak them into the lead!
Now I can't remember the order that followed but I certainly remember the match which saw the very nervous Chillo making his debut. What a surprise we all had when Chillo managed to get away pretty quickly! Darts being wasted by throwing them off the board just added to Chillos disappointment as he soon became the next victim and the score was now 3 - 5. At least you had the balls to turn up and play for us when we were short Chillo, which is more than can be said for the guy with a new woman, forgotten his name!
Smasher was next up and the water was the difference in this leg let me tell you! 112 away and you think hes nailed the leg, but not being able to hit a big twenty with any of his next throws and HUD being ordered to the toilets by me because he was laughing too loud, kind a sums up the leg! At least you were there Smasher which is all we ask from the players, unlike the unknown cab driver who has a new best friend!!!
3 - 6 and HUD up next!!!!!
4 - 6 and the Weekend Sportsman came through for us!
Snatch-u-ral up next and Serious on Water, oh, I meant on last, gave us some hope!
4 - 7
4 - 8
And the hope had all faded!!!
Never mind guys! HG next week to look forward too!
(any chance of anyone drinking for the occasion???)
Other News
Skip asked me to keep an eye on his brother as he had left him in charge of the results card which needed passing to Dave Tasker! A phone call followed from Skip on Monday evening asking if HUD had passed the card to me as Dave hadn't received it and HUD was denying that he ever had the card! 15 minutes and a text from skip later confirmed (by his mother) that HUD did have the card as there was a crumpled paper mess in the back of his jean pocket after they had been through the wash!
Three new girls at the bar this week when we played spoof and HUD asked me if I knew who the one on the right looked like??? I said that I would drink my own pi$$ if she wasn't Harry Burgess' daughter because at some angles it was actually Harry in a long dark wig! She obviously found this quite insulting but mentioned how her brother was regretting not joining the Pot Black 'A' side this year! She said that he'll definitely be playing for us next year!
The other girl in the middle, Becky, aka Duncan Bannatyne was a right scream. I remember saying that she had an awful Irish accent which sounded fake (obviously winding the jock up) before HUD stepped in and asked what accent it was??? She sounded just like Dave Tommo with a slightly deeper voice but HUD was still unsure!!!!!
I then remember asking her where she got the enormous earrings from which would have made Pat Butcher jealous! She mumbled something in a foreign language (Jock) before I replied
" Your earrings are too big, they look $hit, and for those reasons I shan't be investing, I'm ooout"!
Ricky won the game of Liar Dice!
HUD destroyed the spoof legend 'Wally' at heads up spoof!
I had to get a taxi home! Where the fcuk is Gottsy! Lol
Joke Corner
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
See you all soon
Capt Cob
Vice Skip
Linx