A-TEAM WRITE UP (well a quick note anyway)

Season has drawn to an end almost and I'll be hanging up my darts for the summer no doubt! Especially if Paul Harrod is the captain!!!!!

Not had much time this week to blog up and after this season we'll be looking for another blogger to freshen these weekly pi$$ takes up as I'm retiring from the writing!!!! About fcuking time I hear you all say? Well if you'd rather have PH giving you a load of bull each week, then good luck!

Nearly forgot!

Still the holder of the 11-1! Nicknamed Chesney!!!!!!

A quick joke before I go.......

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him..

See ya soon

Linx

Capt Cob

Vice Skip

B-TEAM REPORT

Hi Potty Fans

The season is drawing to a close and with premiership survival assured for another year we are trying to see how far up the table we can finish with seventh our best goal.

An away game last week to the Queens Head, never easy on that throw but we made life extremely difficult by losing all four doubles. We were not able to recover from that and despite winning our share of the singles went down 8-4. a poor performance on the night and not much more to say really.

This week we entertained the struggling Stanford Oak hoping we could get some more points. Missing Yiddo with man-flu, bungle got some practice in before the game and was looking really comfortable so a recall for bill in the doubles and wally in the singles, simples!

We got off to a good start with Clint and Goochy (who had made the best recovery from illness since Lazarus) somehow managing to nick the game despite their opponents hitting three 140’s. various cries of robbery and buggery (not sure what game Shaun was watching) but at least we were one nil up. Hos and Moysie played a solid game for 2-0 before the much awaited return of Billy in the Billy and Johnny show. Unfortunately Bill’s good practice disappeared with the return of the dreaded yips and we were back to 2-1. I’m not saying this is getting to him but apparently he has now enrolled for a six-week course of therapy at the Gary Flatt Clinic for Disgruntled Dartists known as Darts Under Fluffy Flatt’s Expert Rehabilitation Scheme (DUFFERS).

Anyway, a reasonable game from me and Shoot em up got us 3-1 ahead after the doubles.

Whats the best thing to do when 3-1 up and going well? I know, lets lose three out of the next four and make a really exciting game of it!

Clint first, far too early in the evening, he hadn’t even warmed up yet. A very good game from Stridey to keep us two ahead before Ozzie (finished like the West Ham front line) and Wally (started like a granny in a Grand Prix) both lost to leave us level at 4-4.

A comfortable win for Goochy before Hos went on feeling confident after realising that their best player, A Curtain, was away on holiday this week, and secured us the draw. Good games from Darren followed by me (on last again!) and the final result was 8-4 to us.

Two games to go, both away to Marquis and Hearts and still on target for a top half finish.

See you soon

Quiff

A-TEAM REPORT

Great, back once again with another weeks blog!

Just to remind you all of our current Chesney.........

Darts took some organising this week to scrape a team of 8 together! Gottsy makes two matches on the trot and Fluff Senior turned out again to show the youngsters how it's done!

I got a home game to captain this time and I know what skip means about paperwork! Fill in the book, write up the blackboard and fill in the card!!!!!

Ash pops in a hat trick of wins! Fluffy and PH argue who has been the best player this season and Eddy shows us that winning was just a blip in his season!!!!!

Result 10 - 2

That was a quick summary!!!!

Other News

1/ Fluffy sneaks off later to get KFC for one!

2/ PH gets upset that Gottsfreecabs don't go to Oulton Broad!

3/ Team Angry destroy PH and Fluff senior at 3 super curl table bowls!

4/ After choosing his favourite numbers, Linx prevails as champ at halfies, after a late scare on the bullseyes from Ricky and Bash!

5/ Lake Lothing were a bloody good laugh this week! No trouble at all, but that could be because Wrighty and Selfy were missing! Lol

Joke Corner

This is old but I love it! Still don't think it's true but sounds brilliant. Here goes

.............A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON! (Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART.. After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim, and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

See you next week

Linx

Capt Cob

Vice Skip

A-TEAM REPORT

Well hello everyone!

Sorry about the blog last week! Had a hectic week and never got time. Also waiting on Ready's mate to sort the following for us which basically sums up last weeks blog!!!!!











This week we had the dreaded trip away to KWMC. Potential banana skin team for us having got knocked out of the KO cup at Christmas by them!

No skip this week either so it was up to me to fcuk the book up!!!

Doubles were the usual me & tw@t + fluffy & smasher with the reformed pair of serious & Gottsy + Bardy & eddy! We scrapped home in the doubles just with a slender 3 - 1 lead!

Onto the singles and me up first. I drew 'I only play against the pot black A Johny Golf!' After a very poor leg by both I managed a 110 finish to go one further into the lead at 4 - 1. Smasher next up and the same result! Now sitting at 5 - 1 up it seemed a formality!!!!Next three up were Tw@t, Fluffy and Eddy. I know what you're thinking and maybe you're right this time???? Yes you are, they all lost! 5 - 1 up now turned into 5 - 4 with Serious, Bardy (on cokes) and Bash next to go!!!!!

Serious made us sweat for a bit before finally nailing the all important double! Phew!!! Bardy wins despite being on cokes or larger so no surprises to see him win again and Bash chalks up two wins on the trot! Lovely old job lads 8 - 4.

Other News

1/ They now do different flavour sambukas! Guess what they taste like? Still the same as before, ANISEED!

2/ I've also found a worse drink than half a cider with a shot of baileys! A shot of vodka with vinegar and tobasco!!!! Ask fluffy if he enjoyed it. lol

3/ KWMC is good for one thing. . . . . Homemade pickled onions!

Joke Corner

1/ Just driving my new Toyota Prius. Chat later, can't stop.

2/ Capello's just phoned Wayne bridge up and said " I've just spoken to john terry and he's lost the captain's armband. do me a favour and have a look under ur bed"!!

3/ Bloke walks into a brothel, and says " i'm extremely kinky how much for total humiliation? " the madam replies £37.50. He replies "wow what do i get for that? " she says " an Ipswich shirt"

See you soon boys

Linx
Vice Skip
Capt Cob

B-TEAM REPORT

Hello Potty B fans.

We’ve had a good couple of results recently with back to back wins but we will all admit we haven’t played well. To be honest we all seem to have been a bit flat for weeks now but have managed to scrape results.

So even though we’ve been getting the points we were slightly apprehensive on Friday for the visit of the Ole Frank who thrashed us 11-1 at their place earlier in the season.

Our fears seemed justified as we quickly went 3-0 down with Yid and Hos losing the first doubles, followed by Stridey and me although we had a few darts to win it and then Goochy and Oz up against an in-form Bully who weighed in with 180. Moysie and Darren then managed to take advantage of poor finishing to get us one on the board.

This was now the same position we had in the away game when we managed to lose all 8 singles. Hoping to avoid a repeat, we soon settled thanks to a good game from Clint to take out Sean Wilson. If the legend could have started sooner in the next game we would have drawn level but unfortunately he left himself too much to do despite fighting back to give himself a chance. With the score at 4-2 down, we needed to find some singles form if we were to get a result. Stridey was on next against Eddie and played really well, even feeling confident enough to go for an exhibition double top double ten finish before the familiar Michael Jackson spin into the handshake. Next up was Yiddo who had forced himself into two games after some really good performances over the last few weeks. How would he get on? Would the pressure get to him? No need to worry as Steve played as if all his Bahmitvah’s had come at once. Straight in, straight out, a 140 and no scores below 60. Not bad eh! This was probably the best game Bungle’s darts had played for weeks as Steve has been throwing them really well. Obviously this started a discussion as to whether Billy should sell his darts to Steve, particularly as he has some new ones but Billy was adamant he wouldn’t sell. Obviously everyone has their price though and I think they eventually struck a deal for half of Premier and a bag of crisps!

Back to the game and, inspired by Yid’s performance, Hos went on and played superb to beat Gary Bull who hot two 140’s. We had now got ourselves ahead and when Darren beat John Dyke we had secured the draw with two games to go. I was on next and a steady 19 darter got us to seven and a great win. Unfortunately Moysie on last couldn’t beat Bully to leave the score at 7-5 but we were chuffed with that.

It was good to see some of our players playing so well and we all felt that this had pulled us out of the flat feelings we have suffered recently.

We have now safely secured a mid-table finish and hope we can keep our form going over the next few weeks starting next week away to the Queens Head

See you soon

Bye all

Quiff