Pot Black A Vs Marquis

Another top of the table clash as a marquis side with a 100% record visited a packed Pot Black club, They left with their 100% record gone!!!!!!! We fielded a weakened side as Linx saw it was a big game and pretended he was away with the missus (you really should not let the fact you jellied it effect your confidence you know). That left a singles space open for me to fill and that seemed to inspire the troops as I was drawn out last and they realized they needed to get 7 early as I cant beat an egg at the minute!!!!!!!!! (Well for the last 2 years actually!).

DOUBLES

Some solid performances early on as we compiled a 3-0 lead and put the nerves to rest for a while!
Dirty and Serious up first. Serious popping in a 107 finish got us off to a flyer. Smasher and Penfold followed that with Smasher producing some of his better darts for a few games in what was to be the first of two decent performances.

Skip partnered The Power Bardwell as we moved ourselves into a nice little lead, Skip on the high scores sheet again with a 140.

In a convincing 3-0 lead and looking to put the game to bed Myself and Snatural stepped up!!!!! The game opened up and there were erratic darts coming from both teams (myself excluded I scored bog all but at least I was in the right area of the board) as the 18 and 12 beds were peppered before Winyard popped up with 2 140's mid game to put them in a position we could not recover from, another loss for me!!!! Brrriiiiilllliiiiaaaannntttt!!!!!!!! I'm not saying I was any good but I have to comment on The Snatural who was particularly horrific in what was to be the first of 2 terrible performances!!!!!!!! Sorry I commented on your improving form last week it has obviously jinxed you!!!!!!!

SINGLES

Into the singles still 3-1 so not the end of the world!

OH that soon turned into 3-3 as Penfold on in the first single's then The snatural followed up his doubles disaster with another performance of the lowest quality!

So its getting tight!! up step Serious and believe it or not, he was pretty serious and played a good game hitting another maximum and a 140 to take us into a 4-3 lead!

Still tight but the Power Bardwell is on next and he plays the norm notching up a 121 and taking us into a 5-3 lead. A good position but its as good as 5-4 with me still to play!

Next up Skip against Alan Baker. Al played a steady game but unfortunately for Skip a 140 was not enough and he could not recover from a slow start.
5-4!!!! Now there's pressure as we need to win the next 2 games, either that or I need to win! Lets be real!! they both need to win!

With the game getting tight Dirty stepped up!!!!!!!! After a shaky start he threw some exceptional darts towards the end checking out 257 with his last 6 darts to get the 6th game of the night!!!!! another beauty of a performance when we needed it!!!! well played mate.

6-5 up and with me on last Daddy Smash (yep the one who lies to people about going out and leaving them stranded on the curb!) knew he had to win to get the 7-5 victory!!!!! I have to say he put in one of his best performances of the season to get the win for the team, getting a 112st and a 125 in the process, great stuff!!!!!

On last was me, the game already won and with several hours mid week practice under my belt I thought I may play ok??!!!........... nope not a chance, I played a load of rubbish, Micky Woll was trying to chuck the game and I compiled a big lead, Don't know how many ahead I was but It was large enough to get about 18 darts at a double before he came down and checked out!!! bbrrrriiiilllliiiaaaannnttt!!!!!!!!! seriously guys I'm even practicing during the week to try stop being so dump but I just cant seem to win!!!!! I suppose it wasn't a bad loss as it would not have counted anyway as the game was won!

The game finished, a few games of table bowls and liar dice went on and then off we popped to OB, Fluff came out so Dirty went home!!!!
Join us next week to find out if Linx jellies, it....... if Smasher lies....... who will go out Fluff or Dirty? if Gotts is spotted!! If I can win a game! I know you cant wait.

JOKE CORNER

An elderly couple was sitting around one evening and the man says to his wife,
"Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. We've had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's something I've always wondered about. Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?"She hesitated a moment, then said, "Yes, Sidney, three times."
"Three times? How could that happen?" Sidney asks
Marsha replied, "Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were so broke that the bank was about to foreclose on our little house?""Yes, dear, those were really difficult times," replied Sidney."And remember when I went to see the banker one night, and the next day the bank extended our loan?""Gosh, that's really hard to take," said Sidney. "But since things were so bad at the time, I guess I can forgive you. What was the second time?""Well," Marsha continued, "do you remember years later when you almost died of that heart problem because we couldn't afford an operation?""Yes, of course," said Sidney. "Then you will remember that right after I went to see the doctor, he performed the operation at no cost?""Yes, I remember," said Sidney, "and as much as that shocks me, I do understand that you did what you did out of love for me, so I forgive you. So, what was the third time?"Marsha lowered her head and said, "Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club and you needed 62 more votes?"

GOTTS WATCH

A bloke of around 4ft 10 inches high with Jedward type hair was seen checking himself out in a shop window in Great Yarmouth town centre around 1430 on Tuesday!!! Its been said they are pretty sure he was tensing and that his impressive upper body was somewhat overshadowed by the chicken legs!!!!!

A black BMW with a baby on board sticker was seen parked in Leona Crescent on Monday , Wednesday , Thursday , Friday, Saturday and Sunday!!!!! Not sure where it is?, its near Hall road.... you know near Meadow way.... oh come on its near Famona Road...... yeah that's it! just round the corner from Shelley Crossleys florist shop! My source said I don't mind the little **** parking outside my house but I wish he would shut that dog up!!!!!!

WHERE'S LINX

Its a brand new feature again this week as we play a new game!!!!!!! There is no prize but feel free to play, have you heard of 'Where's Wally' well it's even better!!! Its Where's Linx!!!!! Please click on the link below, can you spot him?????????

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com/

Thanks all,
Weekend sportsman over and out
(still ranked the worst dart player in the team but being pushed by Nicky Lark for the title!)

GOTTS WATCH!!!

A black BMW was seen parked outside a McDonalds in Bournemouth from 11pm to 8 am, Our sources say they have never seen so many chicken nuggets eaten in one sitting. The manager said he has ordered an extra box of sweet curry sauce incase the mystery man returns. The RSPCA have asked for witnesses as a beagle was left in the vehicle for 9 hours without water, I believe this to be a true Gotts spot!!!

POT BLACK A 9 LAKE LOTHING 3

Another top of the table clash as they had more points than us at the start of the night so we did not know what to expect. I turned up with my hamster cheeks due to having a very painful wisdom tooth extraction, Linx turned up hoping for a win as he was starting to get on a Harrod /Lark type losing streak and Fluffy just didn't turn up- Poooooofffff!!!!!! Turned out to be a comfortable win after a shakyish bit in the middle sent the scores to 3-3!!!! We had strength at the end as I was 9th man and we secured a comfortable win.

Double's 3-1

As usual I cant remember exactly what happened here apart from the score but I do recall my game so with the scores 1-1!!!!!!! oooh very tense!
Up stepped Me and Penfold against local pro Peter Snakebite Wright. They got off to a flyer opening up with 4 scores while we struggled. Snakebite was getting all too cocky and was just warming up apparently, they were down to a double in no time, Peter was still being very full of himself, in the back round me and Penfold were struggling along. It seems that once warmed up these pro's aren't all they are cracked up to be as they got to a double and could not get it. Me and Penfold had managed to struggle down to a double at this stage and guess what! We struggled then too. But as our local cocky pro was getting more and more warm at this stage he was getting further and further away from a double it was almost like watching Snatural in his joint record breaking loss run last season. In the end as they were jellying it (Yep just like Linx) they didn't ever look like getting it!!! Up stepped Penfold and slipped a sneaky little double 1 in!!!! yey winner- Leg time, A new world record 37 mins 15 seconds.

Into the singles we went, Serious was up against Former Pot Black taxi driver in Kelvin Splat Self. Serious cruised into a comfortable lead but faltered on a double and let the Big Man in , Some might say a mistake but although Splat didn't exactly float he never threw them that straight or checked out that quick when he played for us so Serious is within his rights to claim unlucky in the weekend sportsman's book!! unlucky Serious but you did look a little tired !!!!!!!!
Next up was Dirty against our local pro Snakebite, a very good game, Dirty was a little unlucky being left on tops when snakebite went out- well played mate!!!! I feel the shorter format didn't favor you as he never got warmed up coupled with the few extra drinks prevented him from cocking up his doubles for the second time in the evening as his jelly arm had disappeared!!!!!
So with the scores at 3-3 it looked a little shaky, unlike the previous week the tail wagged in Harmison type fashion!!!

Skip had put up a practice board midweek and it showed as he scored well, even with the hindrance of me shouting out mid throw and just missed a 14 darter before going out next throw.

Daddy Smash took victory still claiming he didn't say he was going out last week!!!!!?????hhhh mmmmmmm!!!!!!!! Anyway he won and then went straight away as he had to go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you sure you just weren't just saying that to fool us but instead had to get home for a bit of how to look good naked!!???

Linx was boring and broke his losing streak. boooorrriIIIIIIIIIIInnnnggggg, Snatural played pretty decent as his form continues to improve, and Penfold took another victory. Bardy was his normal Power like self and cruised to a win, well played guys yet another tough game next week- keep up the practice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No late night action in OB this week as we stayed in the Lake Lothing until 1 am and got a big fat whooping off Penfold at pool!!!!!!!!!! Dirty stayed out as Fluffy wasn't there and got chatted up by some 60 year olds. All good fun and the bonus was that we got a lift home off Splat free cabs! Winner... anyone seen Smasher? naa mate he has gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOKE CORNER

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second longblack hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.The woman was so curious that she respectfullyapproached the woman walking the dog and said,"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is abad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.Whose funeral is it?""My husband's.""What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women."Can I borrow the dog?""Get in line."

GOTTS WATCH

1. At 6am on Monday a black BMW was spotted dropping off a very plump looking blonde haired woman in the short stay area of Heathrow airport!!!!!!! My source was a distance away but he swears they were wearing matching Callaway jumpers, I believe this could be a true Gotts spot!!!
2. A man was seen wearing dark glasses and drinking a protein shake while parked up in a black BMW around 5pm on Wednesday. I could not be sure if this was a true Gotts spot I asked further questions to verify the location! Beaumont Road, you may know it, its near Famona Road and Meadow Way. Still not sure?!! Ill make it easier for you, Its just round the corner from Shelley Crossley's Florist shop!!! yep this is a true GOTTS SPOT!!!!

THE MADE UP NEWS!

1. Lincoln loses 12 pounds on a diet of cider and ice lollies!
2. Billy Bungle Bennet lets go of his darts in under 2 minutes 25 seconds!
3. Gavin Chillingworth spends some money!!!!!
4. Eddie Lark is the same weight he was 4 seasons ago!
5. Serious found losing his game really enjoyable!
6. Fluffy was spotted out on a training session with his two boys at Butlins! I cant believe the buca bus turned up at the tiger club!! My sources say Ethan and Cameron were a bit shaky on their feet but handled their drink well, unfortunately dad was a let down and had to leave early before chundering on the sofa in the middle of the night.
7. Darren Gotts was spotted actually out!

Thanks guy's see you all Friday

Weekend Sportsman
( Now so bad at darts even Jnr Hook fancies his chances!)

B-TEAM REPORT

DREAM TEAM STAR MAN - THE HOSINATOR!

Hi to all you potty followers

Another week and another opportunity as we entertained the Marquis B hoping to get a few more points on the board. We didn’t play at all well the previous week and were hoping for a serious improvement.

With Glynn and Goochy on first we got off to a good solid start as they won without ever being in trouble but we were soon pegged back as Shoot-em-up and Yid went down to a quick finish. A good tidy game from Bungle and Me, with a 140 from Bill and a considerably quicker finish than last week took us back ahead before Hos and Oz were unlucky to lose the last pairs to leave us all square.

Into the singles and a storming start saw a win for Glynn (eventually) followed by the highlight of the night with Hos hitting a superb 133 finish to get us 2 games ahead. Ozzie was our third player and he seemed to grow in confidence as the game went on (probably because his opponent took 5 throws to score 100 at one point). That said his confidence was so high it was bordering on cockiness as he took 63 out with a 13 bull! A tidy game and a slow finish from Moysie secured us the point before this years in form player Bungle suffered a rare defeat to a 78 finish.

Two games left to find a win and yours truly found a pretty steady game before easing off the gas completely under 150. fortunately I had done enough by then to get the win. The legend that is Goochy tidied up the last game to give us a solid 8-4 win and a much better overall performance than the previous week.

We are managing to rack up a few points and hoping for a good performance this week when we visit the Queens Head for what should be a good close match

See you all soon

Quiff

B-TEAM REPORT

Hi guys

Sorry its been a bit quiet for a couple of weeks but unfortunately I missed the battling home win against the Kevill Arms and this was followed by a trouncing away at the home guard. Some positives to take from the latter was generally quite good play and the marvellous “that’s the best weve played all season” comment from their captain. Thanks Andy!

Anyway, to bring us up to date, last Friday saw us away at the factory arms. An interesting and fun night and I reckon there was only one team in the entire league that could have played worse than us, and that was the factory!

A slow start saw Oz and Hos win and Shoot em up and the Midnight Cowboy lose. Then the fun really started with Bungle and Me. Absolutely awful! You could have turned the board upside down, back to front or put it in another room and I would still have hit at least two fives out of every three darts. The others weren’t much better and the game headed unerringly towards its only conclusion – a double one marathon. After several goes each, time being called, Wally growing a beard and everyone lamenting the rules that do not permit bringing a female sub on to hit for you I eventually managed to bag it! 2-1 up and it felt like we had been playing for hours! I hope they never bring best of three in or our games will all be weekends away. Gooch and Glyn (starting to feel he needs a nickname) then lost against probably their best pair to leave it all square.

In to the singles and win for Goochy followed by yet more fives from yours truly, poor finishing from my opponent and a quick nick and we were two ahead. Hang on, ive got two wins on the board so whats all the fuss about. I guess its true what they say, form is temporary, class is permanent and crap seems to go on forever! Glyn then lost to a good finish and Dave also went down – back to level at 4-4. Paul survived a slow (understatement) start to win and Bungle then struggled to get down the board until he seemed to be suddenly toughed by God or something and hit 132 followed by a 62 finish to win from nowhere. Hos went on next and got us the win, which was a good job as Ozzie on last bottled it with three scores of 26 once he got under 200.
Still a good win away and more points on the board. If we can win playing like that anything can happen if we start playing well

More news to follow - watch this space

Quiff

POT BLACK A 6 EX SERVICEMAN'S HG 6 (Linx jellied it)

A nice picture!! just one of the ones me and Chilly gained after chatting to a couple of young girls at the train station!! Can't show you the others, I didn't notice myself but Chilly really liked her personalit.....ies, the PB does not stand for Peter Baker by the way.

Well onto this week, I wasn't going to do a blog but then decided it was unfair on those people in the team who can actually play darts!!!!!!!!! so guys after last weeks disaster against the mercenaries of Man City- oops sorry I mean the Ole Frank the league's long established big guns met at the Pot Black Club.
To say we were a wee bit better than last week would be an understatement!!!!!

Doubles (did I mention Linx jellied it)

Linx and George lost Linx 125

Peek and Hook won Hooky 180, Peek 140

Skip and Bardy lost Bardy 102st and 140

Spring and Ed won Spring 140

Singles( did i mention Linx jellied it)

Hooky won 180,134,108 17dg

Skip won no high scores!! checked out 80 for a bit of a birthday

Bardy won

Then it went wrong

Spring lost to Champs 16dg Spring 135

George lost to Monsters 19dg

Peek won to get the draw Peek 140

you didn't even bother to try and win! Well I did try, in my defense it was hard to see as I bagged a whole 22 points! Flash 17 dart game!

Linx pooped it on last. Jelly machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the shortened version but the computer crashed twice, I cant write it all out a 3rd time so the above is courtesy of Skip.

In summary a really good game of darts with all winners for both teams registering really good legs of darts, great performances by Serious and Dirty Peek in both of their games and unfortunate we did not get the win! From 5-2 they played 3 goood games of 16,19 and 17 darts to go 6-5.

It all went down to the last game with Linx on I cant even remember who he played now! but there were glimpses of brown dripping out of the bottom of his jeans as he missed double 10 , AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! unlucky mate we will get em next time!

Cheers boys up the bar we toddled for a mammoth game of spoof! Briiillliiiaaanntt, out first to round off a cracking night for myself!! Ill try liar dice, nope lost all them too god I had a cracker of a night.

Just about to leave, shall we go out? we were very unsure what to do, a smallish guy by the name of Smasher is straight in, Ill go out! ok lets go, that makes our minds up we will go! Myself , Linx and Slong get out of the car outside Broadview the Chilly drives off. Where Smash? oh he has gone home cheers mate!!!!!!!!!

Gotts Watch

Seems a very popular feature and getting many potential sightings, some are hoaxes as people try to jump on the bandwagon but I know lesser spotted Gotts when I see one and I can whittle out the genuine ones.

1. A man wearing a Ping T-shirt and jeans ripped around the bottom was seen leaving a tanning centre is Gorleston (10 am Monday) I believe this was a true Gotts spot.
2. A short spiky haired man with an orange fake tan face was reported to have booked a chest wax in a local beauty parlour (11 am Tuesday) I believe this to be a genuine Gotts spot.
3. A man was reported to be seen walking a very smelly dog near the garage just opposite the Red House Pub and coming away from Shelley Crossley's florist shop (3.03 pm Wednesday). Must be a Gotts spotting!!!!
4. A black car was seen driving up The Street in Carlton at extreme ( oh that's a funny word!!!) pace!!! not far from the Red House Pub, near Les Whall's house and quite near to Shelley Crossley's florist shop! ( 11pm- He doesn't drink so ill assume he didn't go in the pub, but I have to say a strange time to be buying flowers!!!) Was this the DG?!?!

Joke Corner

Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other two asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

Tip of the week.

If you are having you're wisdom teeth out and they ask you if you want local or general- I would advise general and so would my dentist after he lost his fingers this week!!!!!!!!!

Weekend Sportsman over and out
(By the way did i tell you what happened in Linxs game? he jellied it!!!!!)

POT BLACK A VS OLE FRANK

Well what can I say!!!?? a 9-3 defeat in what has been described by many as our worst performance ever!!! It started badly and never got any better!!
the highlights are below;
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

as you can see there wasn't any.

The first double set the tone for the night as Serious and Dirty came down the board like Phil Taylor and James Wade and ended up on double one as they doubled out like Nicky Lark!!!! Our chins hit the floor and the rest of the night followed in a similar vein! The next two doubles lost as Stinky, Penfold, Skip and Snatural could not turn it around. Up stepped the dynamic duo of Smasher and PH, Ph had the usual we are losing cob on and declared victory was inevitable for him- nope played crap and lost 4-0 down briiiiilllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiant!!!!

Into the singles and it did improve greatly, Skip was the first to register a victory as did Smasher and someone else who I cant remember ( sorry who ever it was!) generally there is not a lot to say and its fair to say we lost all the close as well as all the games which weren't.

Home guard next week, surely we cant play that bad again?! but who knows!

Anyway, the good news was that Trev Hook put an appearance in and we took on Gary The Mouth Flatt and Ryan the mouth Lincoln in what could on be described as lambs to the slaughter table bowls!! well that's what was being shouted out!! nope Myself and Trev won- apparently I was lucky??!!! who cares...ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to Broadview we toddled, no appearance this week from Penfold and Dirty but the stalwarts put some funds in the till, as usual we had no plans to go there but it ended up going really well!!!!
Jager bomb anyone?! briiiiillllllliiiiiiiiant work was soooooo fun!

GOTT'S WATCH

There has been few potential sightings this week !!
I have had reports that a smallish gent has been seen coming out of Shelley Crossley's florist shop on Wednesday at 1030.
Another person reported seeing a spiky haired man with a limp coming out of Shelley Crossley's florist shop on Thursday at 1601.
In another incident a Black BMW with a disabled badge was spotted parked outside the red house just adjacent to Shelley Crossley's florist shop.

JOKE CORNER

A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”.