BENNY ABRAMOVICH'S MONEY NOT ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE POT BLACK
Hi Guys
After missing the trip to the home guard last week I was looking forward to getting back into it at home this week. Thanks to Wally for looking after the blog last week (did anyone else get the feeling he wanted to play doubles?) and Ozzie for taking over the team and nearly getting us a point (maybe he should have put Wally in the doubles).
Despite the online implications that certain players (me, hos, Stavros) had deliberately avoided playing the Home Guard (by one of our players who had feigned an in-growing toe-nail or something this week, get well soon Wally) we were back this week to play the leagues big spenders in Benny Abramovich’s Lake Lothing. Rumours and speculation have been rife with reports of players being paid to play for them and lots of sponsorship money flying about but one of these is Kelvin so surely it can’t be true! Mind you, we can do our own sponsorship money, me on a sponsored slim, Darren on a sponsored smile and Billy on a sponsored silence (not much money to be gained there then!)
First things first and we did the draw. WARNING No 1. Kelvin said “Oh God he’s on 7th and he’s already as pissed as a fart”.
So to the match and we were soon one down after The Big Toe and Bungle were always behind after struggling to get away. Hos and Clint levelled it after their opponents failed to start and we were ready for game three.
WARNING No 2. Stridey, Yid and Peter Wright were ready to play but there other player had gone awol (he’s on 7th and he’s pissed already). After trying to locate him we agreed to play the fourth game first. Up stepped Eagle Eyes and Magoo but after being ahead all game couldn’t finish between them and we were 2-1 behind. The wandering away player then re-appeared. WARNING No 3 as he made a casual comment about having to come back as there was a fight in half an hour. Despite this he managed with Peter to beat Dave and Steve to leave us 3-1 down.
After missing the trip to the home guard last week I was looking forward to getting back into it at home this week. Thanks to Wally for looking after the blog last week (did anyone else get the feeling he wanted to play doubles?) and Ozzie for taking over the team and nearly getting us a point (maybe he should have put Wally in the doubles).
Despite the online implications that certain players (me, hos, Stavros) had deliberately avoided playing the Home Guard (by one of our players who had feigned an in-growing toe-nail or something this week, get well soon Wally) we were back this week to play the leagues big spenders in Benny Abramovich’s Lake Lothing. Rumours and speculation have been rife with reports of players being paid to play for them and lots of sponsorship money flying about but one of these is Kelvin so surely it can’t be true! Mind you, we can do our own sponsorship money, me on a sponsored slim, Darren on a sponsored smile and Billy on a sponsored silence (not much money to be gained there then!)
First things first and we did the draw. WARNING No 1. Kelvin said “Oh God he’s on 7th and he’s already as pissed as a fart”.
So to the match and we were soon one down after The Big Toe and Bungle were always behind after struggling to get away. Hos and Clint levelled it after their opponents failed to start and we were ready for game three.
WARNING No 2. Stridey, Yid and Peter Wright were ready to play but there other player had gone awol (he’s on 7th and he’s pissed already). After trying to locate him we agreed to play the fourth game first. Up stepped Eagle Eyes and Magoo but after being ahead all game couldn’t finish between them and we were 2-1 behind. The wandering away player then re-appeared. WARNING No 3 as he made a casual comment about having to come back as there was a fight in half an hour. Despite this he managed with Peter to beat Dave and Steve to leave us 3-1 down.
First singles was Stridey taking on Peter Wright and Dave played really well to give himself a chance but Peter hit his double to get them another win. Trev then held out for a win for us despite trying to make hard work of it in the end before Billy lost to an in-form Kelvin who hit 2 140’s and fully justified his transfer fee of two pies and a bag of crisps.
WARNING No 4. You know how to get Hos to play his best – wind him up! Mr on 7th and already more pissed than Paul Gallagher in the Hearts of Oak decided to get a bit mouthy while Shawn was playing. Shawn got angry, turned green, ripped his shirt and played out of his skin, whitewashing his opponent with a bull finish. I was on next and despite feeling completely in control, he suddenly came from nowhere to pounce after I missed double top and we were 6-3 down. Clint then played very well to get us back to 6-4 and while this was going on WARNING No 5 Mr on 7th had fallen asleep in his chair. He was woken up to face Moysie and clearly struggling as Moysie was comfortably ahead. Steve, however, decided to have another one of those games where he couldn’t finish (albeit distracted by some drunken antics and mucking about) and let his opponent catch up and get down to a double. FLASHPOINT. After missing double 16 and appearing to hit 16 then double 16, Stridey (without the assistance of a caller) chalked up 16 without realising that the second dart was not in. Mr cant hold his drink then strode over to Dave and started having a go as he thought Dave was being funny, Kelvin had to come over and calm him down to avoid things getting nasty and the evening went a bit sour. Moysie held his nerve and took out the double before being accused of not offering to shake hands – more unpleasantness. After all this Oz still had to play last and he did well to get us a battling draw.
It was a shame that several of our team were upset on the night as it was a good match and the rest of their guys were great fun. At least we are still unbeaten at home now we need to try and get something away next week at the football club.
See you soon
Quiff
WARNING No 4. You know how to get Hos to play his best – wind him up! Mr on 7th and already more pissed than Paul Gallagher in the Hearts of Oak decided to get a bit mouthy while Shawn was playing. Shawn got angry, turned green, ripped his shirt and played out of his skin, whitewashing his opponent with a bull finish. I was on next and despite feeling completely in control, he suddenly came from nowhere to pounce after I missed double top and we were 6-3 down. Clint then played very well to get us back to 6-4 and while this was going on WARNING No 5 Mr on 7th had fallen asleep in his chair. He was woken up to face Moysie and clearly struggling as Moysie was comfortably ahead. Steve, however, decided to have another one of those games where he couldn’t finish (albeit distracted by some drunken antics and mucking about) and let his opponent catch up and get down to a double. FLASHPOINT. After missing double 16 and appearing to hit 16 then double 16, Stridey (without the assistance of a caller) chalked up 16 without realising that the second dart was not in. Mr cant hold his drink then strode over to Dave and started having a go as he thought Dave was being funny, Kelvin had to come over and calm him down to avoid things getting nasty and the evening went a bit sour. Moysie held his nerve and took out the double before being accused of not offering to shake hands – more unpleasantness. After all this Oz still had to play last and he did well to get us a battling draw.
It was a shame that several of our team were upset on the night as it was a good match and the rest of their guys were great fun. At least we are still unbeaten at home now we need to try and get something away next week at the football club.
See you soon
Quiff
