Hello Potty B fans.
Well it’s a lot easier to be creative when you’re playing well but a bit more difficult when you’re crap.
Two weeks ago and a good away win and an easy blog to write (with a bit of help from Billy and Johnny – they might be back soon!). A week goes by and home game against the Marquis A and it was rather difficult to get inspired.
Barracking from the seats in the circle from Mick Wall-dorf and Dave Stride-ler (come on you remember the two miserable old gits from the muppets), these two had reason to moan as our very own cast of muppets was trying to play darts and failing miserably.
First up was the Legend with Bungle who lost to some good scoring from their opponents. They were followed by me and Hos and we seemed to be in our own private battle to see who got the banjo for the week (to see if we could hit a cows arse with it). Fortunately we woke up and Shawn even managed a superb 107 finish. Moysie and Oz got us to 2-1 up before Shoot em up and Clint went to face the formidable pairing of Mick Wooltorton and Gary Leach. Several darts later and we were 300 ahead as they couldn’t start. Several more darts and our pairing of Gonzo and Kermit had managed to throw away the lead and lose. 2-2 after the doubles still doesn’t sound too bad and Hos got us off to a good start in the singles only just missing his second 100+ finish of the night. I was next and after a good start I must have been bitten by a tsetse fly as I completely went to sleep. After my opponent missed his double I managed to wake up long enough to nab a bull finish and get away with a bit of a mugging. 4-2 up and it was still going OK – cue an England-like middle order collapse. Stridey (couldn’t finish), Clint (pretty poor), Oz (shite), Johnny (struggled) and Bungle (blew it) all lost and that was that. Moysie got a consolation leg at the end but we were pretty gutted as they will admit they didn’t play well either and we see it as points lost.
This week we were away to the marquis b and hoping to get back into the points. Time for a bit of a shake up and some new pairings for the doubles.
Goochy and Oz got us off to a good start followed by the dart-sharing Hos brothers – apparently Shawn threw his darts on the bar last week, missed by a mile and no-one has seen them since! It didn’t seem to matter though as Shawn threw Darren’s darts well, but not as well as Darren and we were 2-0 up. A loss from Moysie and Yiddo before me and Stridey got us to 3-1 up – one of the few times we have been ahead in the pairs all season. Ozzie lost to a good opponent before good games from Johnny, me and Hos took us to 6-2 up. Surely we must win this one we’ve still got Bungle, Clint, Moysie and the Legend to go. Surely? No. between struggling to start, failing to finish and a double one marathon from Goochy that would have graced any ladies match we managed to throw the lead away and stutter to a draw. More points that feel lost. Never mind it’s the A Team next, knowing us we’ll probably go stupid and beat them!
On the subject of the A Team, some followers may have noticed a trend towards bowls on the snooker table after the darts. This started as a little idea for a challenge between me and Billy and rapidly seemed to degenerate. Our initial challenge saw us beating Wally at pairs before the A team boys decided to latch on and take over. Me and Bill were up to the challenge and took on (look at me I’m David Bryant) Serious Fluff and (which way do they roll) Jedward lookalike Gottsy. Bearing in mind that in our previous game we were 7-0 down before we won 21-13, we did not panic when we went 4-0 down. That was until they told us we were playing their rules of first to five! This was the equivalent of sending Geoff Boycott and Marcus Trescothick out for a test match and then telling them after 19 overs that they were playing 20-20! It goes without saying that we were unable to recover but if that’s what it takes to beat us then so be it.
This week, realizing our après-dart entertainment had been nicked I tried to be clever and brushed the cobwebs off my own set of carpet bowls which had never been used since I got them for Christmas years ago. They looked the same but that was where the similarity ended. These things were like those joke golf balls that go where they like. They had so much curl on them they started coming back to you like boomerangs. At one point the game had seen more u-turns than a room full of politicians. Needless to say with no skill in the game, me and Bill lost again. Seems that if we can’t do this properly we should stick to the liar dice!
Will be back soon
Bye all
Quiff
Well it’s a lot easier to be creative when you’re playing well but a bit more difficult when you’re crap.
Two weeks ago and a good away win and an easy blog to write (with a bit of help from Billy and Johnny – they might be back soon!). A week goes by and home game against the Marquis A and it was rather difficult to get inspired.
Barracking from the seats in the circle from Mick Wall-dorf and Dave Stride-ler (come on you remember the two miserable old gits from the muppets), these two had reason to moan as our very own cast of muppets was trying to play darts and failing miserably.
First up was the Legend with Bungle who lost to some good scoring from their opponents. They were followed by me and Hos and we seemed to be in our own private battle to see who got the banjo for the week (to see if we could hit a cows arse with it). Fortunately we woke up and Shawn even managed a superb 107 finish. Moysie and Oz got us to 2-1 up before Shoot em up and Clint went to face the formidable pairing of Mick Wooltorton and Gary Leach. Several darts later and we were 300 ahead as they couldn’t start. Several more darts and our pairing of Gonzo and Kermit had managed to throw away the lead and lose. 2-2 after the doubles still doesn’t sound too bad and Hos got us off to a good start in the singles only just missing his second 100+ finish of the night. I was next and after a good start I must have been bitten by a tsetse fly as I completely went to sleep. After my opponent missed his double I managed to wake up long enough to nab a bull finish and get away with a bit of a mugging. 4-2 up and it was still going OK – cue an England-like middle order collapse. Stridey (couldn’t finish), Clint (pretty poor), Oz (shite), Johnny (struggled) and Bungle (blew it) all lost and that was that. Moysie got a consolation leg at the end but we were pretty gutted as they will admit they didn’t play well either and we see it as points lost.
This week we were away to the marquis b and hoping to get back into the points. Time for a bit of a shake up and some new pairings for the doubles.
Goochy and Oz got us off to a good start followed by the dart-sharing Hos brothers – apparently Shawn threw his darts on the bar last week, missed by a mile and no-one has seen them since! It didn’t seem to matter though as Shawn threw Darren’s darts well, but not as well as Darren and we were 2-0 up. A loss from Moysie and Yiddo before me and Stridey got us to 3-1 up – one of the few times we have been ahead in the pairs all season. Ozzie lost to a good opponent before good games from Johnny, me and Hos took us to 6-2 up. Surely we must win this one we’ve still got Bungle, Clint, Moysie and the Legend to go. Surely? No. between struggling to start, failing to finish and a double one marathon from Goochy that would have graced any ladies match we managed to throw the lead away and stutter to a draw. More points that feel lost. Never mind it’s the A Team next, knowing us we’ll probably go stupid and beat them!
On the subject of the A Team, some followers may have noticed a trend towards bowls on the snooker table after the darts. This started as a little idea for a challenge between me and Billy and rapidly seemed to degenerate. Our initial challenge saw us beating Wally at pairs before the A team boys decided to latch on and take over. Me and Bill were up to the challenge and took on (look at me I’m David Bryant) Serious Fluff and (which way do they roll) Jedward lookalike Gottsy. Bearing in mind that in our previous game we were 7-0 down before we won 21-13, we did not panic when we went 4-0 down. That was until they told us we were playing their rules of first to five! This was the equivalent of sending Geoff Boycott and Marcus Trescothick out for a test match and then telling them after 19 overs that they were playing 20-20! It goes without saying that we were unable to recover but if that’s what it takes to beat us then so be it.
This week, realizing our après-dart entertainment had been nicked I tried to be clever and brushed the cobwebs off my own set of carpet bowls which had never been used since I got them for Christmas years ago. They looked the same but that was where the similarity ended. These things were like those joke golf balls that go where they like. They had so much curl on them they started coming back to you like boomerangs. At one point the game had seen more u-turns than a room full of politicians. Needless to say with no skill in the game, me and Bill lost again. Seems that if we can’t do this properly we should stick to the liar dice!
Will be back soon
Bye all
Quiff
