POT BLACK A VS LTFC

Hi all no blog last week but tough really I'm back on it again this week, last week was a great win in our first tough game of the season it got a bit nip and tuck towards the end but luckily the solid Lark and Harrod combo both won at the end. Law of averages said we were going to get wins in the end. Unfortunately for the natural his win didn't count as we already had 7 so I got one up on him!
this week and another 8-4 victory in a game we made a little tougher than need be.

Doubles

Obviously not sure of the exact details or order but 3-1 up, myself and smasher won, he was at least better than last week but seriously this is a whole new concept for me out scoring my doubles partner, 'Penfold Spring' and Gavin 'dirty' Peek I've shortened it as he stays out now) and think Bardy and Linx were the other winners but that's very vague!

Singles

Well what happened here? got a little bit tight for a while, Dirty Peek made it 6 wins out of 6, Penfold Spring also snuck in. Skip on the beer for his 2nd consecutive week took victory! a good result for someone who officially retired from darts the Friday before! Linx was awful and lost as his scoring wasn't up to its normal scratch of 60,60,60,60,60 unfortunately he was only hitting, 59,57,55,58,59 and he was a bit unlucky with the draw and found himself up against someone who actually aimed for the treble!!! it got to 6-4 and everyone was a little tense I'm not sure why as we had our two bankers on last................. yep you guessed it me and the Snatural Lark, full of mouth as usual and with a bit of swagger after our victories the week before. I was a bit shaky at the start but pulled myself together as I realized my opponent was horrific and played a wee bit better towards the end registering the teams 1st high score of the night!!!!!!!!!! omg wtf!!!!!!!! anyway 7-4 up and the win was secure. The Snatural was up next and in the same situation as the week before in a game of no relevance, The Snatural took victory, and the same as the previous week he was a bit unlucky and it didn't count because we already had 7 and I got another one up on him- its great when you make up the rules of competitions as you always win

The only most wins cup people care about update:

ph 3 wins
fluff 1 win
the natural 1 win

Well with Smasher off to the Ole Frank to prep for the next days wedding duty, Fluff being a poooffffffff and me being absolutely knackered after a late night and a bit to much wine the night before it seemed that we would not head out...... nope I pulled myself together and gathered up the troops and me, Penfold, Linx and Dirty Peek cruised into ob, I won a pound by betting Nathan Hart would be in the Waveney, yep there he was!!!!!! I then trapped off a bit about whooping people at pool and lost every game!! briiiillliiiiaaannnntttt!!!
Broadview then was on our radar, surely the buka bus wasn't there again!!!!!!!!???????? we tentatively poked our heads round the door, the fear was etched on our faces, we gripped each other tight as we huddled together we hoping it wasn't there............... nope it wasn't YIPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WE CRIED, I think I had tears of joy in my eyes. what to drink? no buka? oh I know we will have to have!!!!! a couple of bottles of apple sour and stroll round with raspberry vodka drinks with little berries floating around in them- its important to get older with grace think we may have them again next week!!!!!!!!!!

Joke corner

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?""Just rub toilet paper between them."Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?""I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

an exciting new feature!!!!

Gotts Watch

Have you seen this man?? if you do please do not hesitate to text me with the exact date and where abouts!!!! we need to keep an eye out to put his parents minds at rest!!! so if you spot him, make the effort and do what is right!!!

The last reported sighting was 1855 on Saturday the 18th of the month 2010 a black bmw was reported to be seen leaving the kfc car park with a rather large carrier bag of food! could this have been the elusive DG!?

Weekend Sportsman over and out!

B-TEAM WRITE UP

Hello again Potty fans

Following last weeks victory a vicious rumour (started by Ozzie) has been circulated (by Ozzie), that we can only win when Ozzie is playing!

An away trip to the Hearts of Oak (without Ozzie again) was, therefore a good opportunity for the guys to prove that this rumour is completely unfounded.

As well as Ozzie, we were also without Hos and Yid and this years part-timers Das Hos and Shillo, meaning that Wally was going to have to step in for two games and he was thrown straight in at the deep end, on first in the doubles. Playing with Clint, they put together a good game and were 300 ahead on their way to securing the win. 1-0. Bungle and myself were next with a good close game that Billy enjoyed so much he forgot he was having trouble letting go of the darts! Nice and smooth and well on his way back! Straight in and straight out – 2-0. Glynn and Trev next, question – who hits double 19? Answer – Glynn does. 3-0. a good battle from Moysie and Shoot em up and a rare 4-0 up after the doubles. Three good solid games from me, Billy and Moysie and were 7-0 up with the points secured.

Wally was next on and unlucky to come up against their best player in the form of steve bidle (although he did try to avoid this by stepping up to the oche for the game before in the hope that no-one would notice) and we lost our first leg of the night.

A good 66 finish from Goochy and a solid game from Glynn and we were 9-1 ahead. With Wally becoming concerned that he might soon hear a loud out of tune rendition of a certain one hit wonder hit from the eighties, Shoot em up went on and spared him this fate by not being able to finish. 9-2 and no Chesney! Clint (who is fast turning into the midnight cowboy based on the time of the day he plays his best darts) was on last (again, fortunately) and although he struggled to finish, managed to hold on for a convincing 10-2 win.

So the rumour mill can stop, we can win without Ozzie. This week we’ll find out if we can win without me as well as I am missing on family duties so good luck to the boys at home to the Kevill.

I’ll see you all soon

All the best

Atko

THE CHALLENGE

Last Friday night saw the first in what the spectators hope to be a thrilling challenge match series. The Challenge was First person to completely devour 3 buttered bread rolls was the CHAMP (perfectly normal friday activity). Billyhill did a book on the event which saw both competitors hard to split. Once the event took place there was only one winner. The old Hare and the Tortoise scenario. Matt tried to swallow the first roll whole and never recovered. Gary's more composed method saw him to victory. Gary 'The Mouth' Flatt beat Hooky comprehensively (Seeings as Linx pointed out that Gary finished first and Matt had dropped half a roll on the floor!!!)

So Flatty is the undisputed champion of the WORLD!!!! Who will try and defeat him this week

LEAGUE WEBSITE LINK

I have added a link at the TOP of this page to the Offical 'Festival League Darts Website'

Just click on the link to access Fixtures, League Tables, Statistics and all you would ever want to know about the league

(So Glynn you will always know where yoyr playing now!)

B-TEAM WRITE UP

Hello again

Two weeks to catch up on and following two straight 9-3 defeats we were hoping for better away at the Working Mens Club.

As is usual at this time of year, we were missing a few players for a variety of injuries and other reasons; Glynn Whall – away on international duty, Wally – back, Stridey – Shoulder, Yid – Yom Kippur or something, Oz – freak heart injury caused by Cupid’s arrow. Fortunately we had Shillo on the right duty week and Darren (Michael Palin) King had postponed the latest leg of his world tour to be available.

We started with Michael Palin and Clint with a good effort but no win to go one down, followed by Bungle and yours truly with a fine example of how not to get away and give your opponents a huge lead. Somehow we caught up and nicked a win which was a bit of a mugging thanks to a quick finish. The mugging was then repayed with Goochy and Shillo on the receiving end but an excellent performance from Hos with a 136 and a 136 start helped him and moysie to a win to leave a respectable 2-2 after the doubles.

Into the singles and a good game from Billy got us ahead but we were soon behind again after losses from Moysie, Shillo and me (still showing how not to start and give your opponent a 300 lead). Goochy and Clint then both won to level it at 5-5 and give us hope with Hos Bros on last two. Tight games and unlucky but we lost both for a 7-5 loss on the night. At this stage we seem to be in a competition with West Ham to see who can get the first point of the season and I hope its us because they don’t look like getting one for at least another 6 weeks!

So to this week and the visit of X Servs B. sticking with the pairing of Bungle and Me we had a solid start winning a close game before Clint and Yid lost to make it 1-1. Hos and Moysie then tried their hardest to make sure we went 2-1 down but didn’t quite make it and held on to win a pretty slow game with an even slower finish. A good fourth game from Goochy and Romeosborne and we were ahead after the pairs for the first time this year. A very solid opener from Glynn with a 140 was followed by a loss from Goochy who had obviously watched me last week and thought you were supposed to give your opponent a massive head start. A good battling game brought a win from Bungle but this was followed by another loss, this time from Moysie. I then managed to get away this week with a 112 start and played ok for a win and, wait for it, that’s 6 games and weve got a point! With Shoot em up next and miles ahead we thought we could turn it into two points but alas he couldn’t finish. When Hos decided to follow the famous Quiff system of give your opponent a massive head start, we were pulled back to 6-5 and everything was on Clint on last who had a tough game in prospect. Hang on though, Clint on last and its getting late, this could be good for the man who wants to propose that matches should start at 10-00 because he always plays better later. Sure enough this proved true and an excellent showing from the ice man secured us our first win of the season (there you go Hammers, follow that!)

Now we are up and running, we can look forward to next week’s trip to the Hearts of Oak

More news to follow – watch this space.

All the best

Quiff

POT BLACK A VS KESSINGLAND QUEENS HEAD

Hi all

Another Friday night and what can I say a 9-3 win, the team have made a very good start to season, very strange situation to be in, a quick analysis of how the games were lost!!!!!!!!!! I played twice Nicky Lark played once, yep that's 3 games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't need to spell it out for you!!!.. Ok I will I'm awful, if anyone has any tips let me know because I need all the help I can get.

Me and Skip lost our doubles despite looking in control and the singles losers are above.
Good performances' by all but my memory is a bit sketchy as the buca bus pulled up and I went for a little ride, what can I remember?

1. Dirty Stop Out stayed out!!!!!!! yep it really did happen
2. Dirty Stop Out attempts liar dice with mixed success!!!!! I think he called Linx a liar on some stupid ones and won, I'm sure I remember a pair of kings being a lie! always worth a crack to see the cob on from Mr Cob on!
3. Fluffy rounds off a quiet Friday by being sick all over the couch- I bet Rach was well chuffed.
4. I'm still on most high starts and highest score in the team!!!! oooohhh yeeaaaaahhh.

Joke Corner
A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?" The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!" The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back."The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves.
A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. "I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and... it... it... grew back!"The bartenter, now furious at the guy's general stupidity, yells, "for crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller that the other one!" The fellow can not believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar.
The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery. "It worked, it worked!" he exclaims. "I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"

Amazing Fact
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump! (LINX NEVER WAS GREAT IN THE AIR AT FOOTY!)

POT BLACK A vs MARQUIS (B I THINK)

DREAM TEAM STAR MAN OLD FLUFF

12-0 - God damn, a potential chesney losing chance has gone.

Second game in and already struggling for players due to holidays, work, and general laziness. Never fear our back up players of old Fluff and even Older Fluff don't let us down and we swing into the Marquis with the straight 8. New boys Andy ' The Haircut' Spring and Gavin 'Dirty stop out' Peek are looking a bit nervous as they enter their old stomping ground. They spend a couple of minutes checking out the competition and after a huddle up in the corner they emerge with a little smirk and the old swagger back.

Doubles
Unbelievable I know as we won 12 -0 the doubles ended up 4-0. The first 2 doubles struggled a wee bit, Linx and Old fluff never looked in danger, But Linx once again didn't live up to his reputation and was clearly missing his normal high quality partner. Bardy and Older Fluff also looked a bit shaky, Bardy assured as ever on the cokes (not) had to rely on Older Fluff who had a solid game despite only picking up darts once a millennium, fancy a game every week?? last two doubles played far better- oh yes I did figure in one of them!!! The teams of Skip and Ph, and Haircut and Dirty stop out both played extremely well and cruised to victories.

Into the singles

and everyone is already a little nervy, they know the chesney is on!!! To be honest there were no alarms, Once the usual suspects like the coca cola kids Bardy and Skip won and I avoided the double chesney 12-0 was inevitable, Fluff got the jerky arm out and played well taking player of the night award with a 19 darter (annoying isn't it!!!!). Dirty Stop out had the pressure of last game on, I provided the usual support by taking the Mick thinking I could get him to jelly it but he was never in trouble and yep I'm still the one and only, Briiilllliiiaaannnnttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Anyone ever seen a bloke bring a dart case the size of a laptop bag to the pub containing about 20 sets of darts then use just 1 set the size of drawing pins?? I have Keith Allen- I let it ride obviously by shouting it out extremely loudly so everyone could have a good p**s take!!!!!! I never lose my charm ha ha!!!!!

Other Points

1. Dirty stop Out breaks his personal best for staying out.
2. Juke boxes are the way forward on a Friday.
3. The colour of money is extremely hard to win on.

After staying at the Marquis for a while me and Linx face a massive dilemma, shall we join Dave Smith and the haircut in a jaunt to the mighty Plough and Sail- We make the right choice and pop off back to Linx for a kebab and a bit of gambling!!! obviously a good idea we won loads!!!! we also treated ourselves to a watching a bit of WWE fu** we are cool!!!!!

Joke Corner
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Amazing Fact
The average person laughs 10 times a day! (This week its me who is above average)

Weekend Sportsman over and out!!!!