POT BLACK A Vs KWMC A

Well everyone's fave a trip to Kessingland, whoopee!!!!!!! for some reason these guys are a fair way down the league but we expected a tough trip as we have historically struggled at this venue.

GOTTS WATCH

The night started as usual, went to Linx's got changed, Fluffy picked us up as he was being a pooooffffffffff and driving, got to the Pot Black opened up a can of whoop ass all over Darren Jedward Hoskins as per usual, strolled in ordered a lager and got some one else to pay for it. All regulation stuff really, then the night went all weird!!!!!!!!!

At approximately 7pm a small spiky haired gentleman with an orange face, chicken legs, a limp, wearing far too much aftershave and a ping t-shirt with jeans ripped at the bottom strolled into the Pot Black Club, people greeted him as DARREN GOTTS!!!!!!! I have to say I didn't believe it, all night I just couldn't have it, there is no way the Gotts could be out on a Friday night, naa not having it, I racked my brain there must be a simple explanation for this weird event, it must be an imposter posing as the Gotts to receive an excessive benefits package, but the sensible side of me was fighting back saying can there really be two people this ugly in the world! Anyway I was at sixes and sevens all night my concentration was ruined, so much so that my brain dis-engaged from my arm and I threw a few decent darts!!!!!!!

Anyway the night was drawing to a conclusion round Dirty's and the cards were out, this imposter was playing and OH MY GOD WAS HE LUCKY!!!!!!! well that eased my mind because ugliness aside here there cant be two people this lucky in the world this was in fact a true Gotts spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOKE CORNER

There were Two guys at a bar. They were making small talk and realized a couple of interesting things.. this is how their conversation went.

Guy 1: Yah..I’m originally from Dublin, Ireland

Guy 2: Really?! Me too!

Guy 1: I went to O’Malley Highschool.

Guy 2 : I did too! What year did you graduate?

Guy 1: 1988!

Guy 2: Same here!

A guy sitting next to them was amazed how they grew up together and didnt know it. He asked the bar tender, who was friends with both of them if the two irish guys knew each other. The bar tender replied, ” Yeah. It looks like the Donohue Twins are drunk again.”

JEDWARD ON JEDWARD

My names Shaun and my names Darren- together we are Shaun and Darren

This weeks new feature is a weekly report on the happening of the massive Jedward Uk Tour. Jedward's biggest fans and our own Pot Black Jedward Shaun and Darren Hoskins are travelling every inch of the country following the pop group they adore and they have agreed to give us a weekly rating on the performance of the 2 world famous little ****s. This week Jedward went to the O2 Arena to watch Jedward. Jedward said that it was a great show, the dancing was amazing but the vocals were a bit off due to John having a cold. Shaun said that he thought that John was a right little trooper for battling through and that his determination was one thing that he loved about him, he also said despite the vocals the crowd really enjoyed themselves and he cant wait for next week. Darren said he had a great time but was bit annoyed that his balloon blew out of his hand and he couldnt buy another as they were sold out!!!!!!!!! Despite this he really enjoyed himself and commented that Edwards bottom was looking particularly pert this week!!!!! oooh I say.
Jedward on Jedward rating 7 out of 10.

WHERES LINX

For all those who couldn't find Linx last week, do not despair, you have another chance this week! Click on the link below.... Can you Spot Him?

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com/

THE GAME

Well enough of all this fun I suppose I better actually talk about the game!!!!!!!!!!

Well I have got one more thing, I forgot to mention the excessive drinking that went on the previous Friday!!! Now correct me if I'm wrong but if I was going on a session the first thing that sprang to mind would not be' excuse me barman can I have a half a lager and lime and a vodka and diet coke chaser!!!!!!' 'oh and barman , hold the ice I'm on a session!' cheers Dirty and Penfold for that moment I have photos if I need them for a future p*** take I'm sure you haven't heard the last of this.

Right in summary Ill talk about the game - A good result in what could have been a tough game as we took a 9-3 victory. A solid all round showing as we won 7 out of 8 singles with the obvious loser being Nicky Lark although I will say he was a bit unlucky as he drew treble 19 Cass who went a bit nuts!!!! Ah well I'm gonna dwell on the sympathy he lost again and that's it. I don't want to blow my own trumpet as this just may be a 1 week flash in the pan, but at least it looked as if I had played before this week and hopefully it is a sign of some improved form in the future. Skip noticed that Serious is a better singles player than doubles as he popped in a 142 start in his singles and took a comfortable victory, he took a tape home of his performance but was unlucky he couldn't watch it due to a blown up tv. Penfold popped in the only other high score of the night in the singles as we were never really in danger. The food was exceptional, they had cheese straws and everything!!!!!

The doubles finished 2-2

Skip and Linx won on first

Smasher and Penfold lost on second
Me and Nicky Lark won on third (yep that's won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Peek and Hook lost on fourth
Oh I had a 140 thought I better talk about myself a bit!!!!!!
Into the singles we went at 2-2 we wanted a quick start, we did not want any not needed pressure and we got it as Serious, Linx, ME!!!!!!!!! AND Dirty all won.

Next on The Snatural and with a chance to get a win that actually counted as the game was still on!!! nope he lost!!!!!!!!!!!

That was our loss of the evening as Penfold won chalking up a 121 in the process and Skip and Smasher wrapped up a nice win.

No buca bus this week as we ended up back at Dirtys house. Me and Dirty got fleeced at cards while I set a new world record for the amount of wheat crunchies eaten on the spin!!!!!!!!!! we tucked into our half pints of baileys mixed in with vodka and tia maria- yep they tasted horrific and no I didn't leave any before we had a tour of the house. We popped into the very impressive dart shrine, I was a wee bit concerned that he had a signed photo of Keith Dellar on the wall though!!!! Before playing around with Gavs laser and then looking at his extensive collection of photo's of pussies (catfish - he went on a fishing trip last year). We met a dog which was meant to be the same breed as honey (The Gott's former dog) but it seems Dirtys dog eats sensible portions of food unlike the immortal honey. if your unsure of what I mean the best way I can describe it is Dirtys dog looks like Nicky lark 4 seasons ago and Honey looks like Nick Lark now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We then treated ourselves to a game on the Wii, while Linx and Smasher cuddled up on the sofa with harlie the dog. Pictures will follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers everyone

Weekend Sportsman over and.................................................................. Hang on!!!!!!!! I have a report of an urgent blog moment coming in on the Bat phone!!!!!!!!!

It seems that one of our regular Bloggers is trying to drive Fridays so he can act like an idiot on a Saturday and not get blogged- NOPE NOT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEFORE GOLF

At 7.20 on Sunday I get a call on the bat phone I wake a little startled, Its THE FLUFF!!!!!!!!!! Paul I need a lift to golf as Rach won't let me drive, 'ok mate what's happened?' 'dunno mate she has gone all weird'. 'ok not a problem'. Pick the Fluff up and obviously ask what's going on. Fluff is a little confused and I quote 'I wasn't really that drunk last night' ah well I think maybe she has heard about random Sunday morning drink drive tests or something.

AFTER GOLF

I look on my phone to find 5 new texts??? I'm never that popular and there's no way I can pull 1 bird on a sat night let alone 5!!!! what's going on????? Its my partner in crime Linx!!!!!!!!!! It seems he has had the legendary I did not get drunk!!! Fluff on the mobile. 'Linx was I drunk last night?' 'yes mate -quite bad, you were hanging out of the side of the car window trying to be sick, we are not sure if you were, you better check the side of the car'- don't know about you lot but it sounds like he may have been a bit drunker than he thought!?

IN THE CLUBHOUSE

'Paul I've found out why I'm in trouble' 'yes Fluff I know you were hanging out of the car window you pleb!' ' No I don't think she took offence to that I think it was when I passed out on the lawn that really annoyed her!!!!!!!' 'oh that doesn't sound good Fluff' 'Oh it gets better!!!!! The neighbours got woken up and had to collect me off the lawn and put me in the house!!!!!!!! Think that may have sent her over the edge!!!!!!!!!!'
BRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIAAAAANNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got to laugh about that one!!!!!!! I get the feeling that Fluff wont be drinking heavily at the beer festival on Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekend Sportsman over and out.
(now the second worst dart player in the team)

B-TEAM REPORT

Hello darts fans

Another couple of weeks to catch up on and what a funny couple of weeks they were!
An away trip to the Queens Head followed by a home game against the Ex Servs A and two totally different games.

Firstly at the Queens, we seemed to playing well and found ourselves 5-2 down before we realised it. Oz and Moysie opened up and played a pretty good game right down until the end. To say they struggled to hit a double is a bit of an understatement, between the pair of them they couldn’t have finished a sentence! Needless to say we went one down. Two very good games from Hos and Glynn and Billy and Me got us ahead before Shoot em up and the Midnight Cowboy went on last. With Paul hitting three tons we were hoping to extend the lead but unfortunately they ran out of steam and we were all square at 2-2. before we had time to blink, Glynn (had peaked in the doubles), Oz (still couldn’t finish) and Stridey (unlucky) had all lost and we were behind 5-2. Two good games to pull us back from Hos and Bungle (once he got away) gave us hope but a loss from Paul left us needing the last two games to salvage a point. Fortunately Moysie and Me managed to hold our nerve and we got the point we all felt we deserved.

So to last week and the Ex Servicemens A. Having played well last week, we managed a complete turn around in form on Friday. We managed to win the opening doubles thanks to Billy and Me (well Billy really, no Billy totally) as he was the only one of the four to play well hitting a 140 on the way. The second of the doubles saw Clint and Moysie with a special one-off appearance from Magoo. Yes you’ve guessed it, one of those classic Ozzie short sighted moments that occur every now and then. On this occasion, with their player wanting 108, he threw one dart and asked what he had scored. Now Ozzie knows his eyesight is about as good as a bat with cataracts but he still tried to help and said 15 (treble 5). It was subsequently revealed that he had in fact hit 60 (treble 20) and could have gone for the finish. A brief discussion about the options saw the game continue from where it was and I think it was probably fair that we did in fact lose it to go 1-1. In Ozzie’s defence, there was no caller and we normally do not need them but a word of advice to any visiting teams that may read our blogs. If Ozzie steps up to chalk, please provide a caller, a checker, a spotter, a reserve spotter and someone up the bar with binoculars! Its for your own good! Anyway, after this we had two further wins for Hos and Glynn followed by Oz and Goochy (albeit the latter against 1 man) to give us a 3-1 lead going into the singles. The singles did not start very well with Me (if I pulled them any further to the left I would have to stand in the snooker room to hit the board) Hos (couldn’t start) and Bungle (not great) and we were 4-3 down. A win for Moysie (somehow) and a loss for Clint (played Harry in the best game of the night) and we were 5-3 behind. Good solid wins for Goochy and Oz to get us to 6 -5 and Glynn will claim he went on last and got us the win (no chance they only had seven and it was a walk over).

To sum up the night it must have been the worst darts match we have ever played against each other but somehow we got 2 points to keep us solidly mid table.

Lets hope we can find a bit more form and play better next week. Its nice to win but it feels better if you’ve played well to do it!

Ill let you know
See you soon
Atko

Pot Black A Vs Marquis

Another top of the table clash as a marquis side with a 100% record visited a packed Pot Black club, They left with their 100% record gone!!!!!!! We fielded a weakened side as Linx saw it was a big game and pretended he was away with the missus (you really should not let the fact you jellied it effect your confidence you know). That left a singles space open for me to fill and that seemed to inspire the troops as I was drawn out last and they realized they needed to get 7 early as I cant beat an egg at the minute!!!!!!!!! (Well for the last 2 years actually!).

DOUBLES

Some solid performances early on as we compiled a 3-0 lead and put the nerves to rest for a while!
Dirty and Serious up first. Serious popping in a 107 finish got us off to a flyer. Smasher and Penfold followed that with Smasher producing some of his better darts for a few games in what was to be the first of two decent performances.

Skip partnered The Power Bardwell as we moved ourselves into a nice little lead, Skip on the high scores sheet again with a 140.

In a convincing 3-0 lead and looking to put the game to bed Myself and Snatural stepped up!!!!! The game opened up and there were erratic darts coming from both teams (myself excluded I scored bog all but at least I was in the right area of the board) as the 18 and 12 beds were peppered before Winyard popped up with 2 140's mid game to put them in a position we could not recover from, another loss for me!!!! Brrriiiiilllliiiiaaaannntttt!!!!!!!! I'm not saying I was any good but I have to comment on The Snatural who was particularly horrific in what was to be the first of 2 terrible performances!!!!!!!! Sorry I commented on your improving form last week it has obviously jinxed you!!!!!!!

SINGLES

Into the singles still 3-1 so not the end of the world!

OH that soon turned into 3-3 as Penfold on in the first single's then The snatural followed up his doubles disaster with another performance of the lowest quality!

So its getting tight!! up step Serious and believe it or not, he was pretty serious and played a good game hitting another maximum and a 140 to take us into a 4-3 lead!

Still tight but the Power Bardwell is on next and he plays the norm notching up a 121 and taking us into a 5-3 lead. A good position but its as good as 5-4 with me still to play!

Next up Skip against Alan Baker. Al played a steady game but unfortunately for Skip a 140 was not enough and he could not recover from a slow start.
5-4!!!! Now there's pressure as we need to win the next 2 games, either that or I need to win! Lets be real!! they both need to win!

With the game getting tight Dirty stepped up!!!!!!!! After a shaky start he threw some exceptional darts towards the end checking out 257 with his last 6 darts to get the 6th game of the night!!!!! another beauty of a performance when we needed it!!!! well played mate.

6-5 up and with me on last Daddy Smash (yep the one who lies to people about going out and leaving them stranded on the curb!) knew he had to win to get the 7-5 victory!!!!! I have to say he put in one of his best performances of the season to get the win for the team, getting a 112st and a 125 in the process, great stuff!!!!!

On last was me, the game already won and with several hours mid week practice under my belt I thought I may play ok??!!!........... nope not a chance, I played a load of rubbish, Micky Woll was trying to chuck the game and I compiled a big lead, Don't know how many ahead I was but It was large enough to get about 18 darts at a double before he came down and checked out!!! bbrrrriiiilllliiiaaaannnttt!!!!!!!!! seriously guys I'm even practicing during the week to try stop being so dump but I just cant seem to win!!!!! I suppose it wasn't a bad loss as it would not have counted anyway as the game was won!

The game finished, a few games of table bowls and liar dice went on and then off we popped to OB, Fluff came out so Dirty went home!!!!
Join us next week to find out if Linx jellies, it....... if Smasher lies....... who will go out Fluff or Dirty? if Gotts is spotted!! If I can win a game! I know you cant wait.

JOKE CORNER

An elderly couple was sitting around one evening and the man says to his wife,
"Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary. We've had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's something I've always wondered about. Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfaithful to me?"She hesitated a moment, then said, "Yes, Sidney, three times."
"Three times? How could that happen?" Sidney asks
Marsha replied, "Well, do you remember right after we were married and we were so broke that the bank was about to foreclose on our little house?""Yes, dear, those were really difficult times," replied Sidney."And remember when I went to see the banker one night, and the next day the bank extended our loan?""Gosh, that's really hard to take," said Sidney. "But since things were so bad at the time, I guess I can forgive you. What was the second time?""Well," Marsha continued, "do you remember years later when you almost died of that heart problem because we couldn't afford an operation?""Yes, of course," said Sidney. "Then you will remember that right after I went to see the doctor, he performed the operation at no cost?""Yes, I remember," said Sidney, "and as much as that shocks me, I do understand that you did what you did out of love for me, so I forgive you. So, what was the third time?"Marsha lowered her head and said, "Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club and you needed 62 more votes?"

GOTTS WATCH

A bloke of around 4ft 10 inches high with Jedward type hair was seen checking himself out in a shop window in Great Yarmouth town centre around 1430 on Tuesday!!! Its been said they are pretty sure he was tensing and that his impressive upper body was somewhat overshadowed by the chicken legs!!!!!

A black BMW with a baby on board sticker was seen parked in Leona Crescent on Monday , Wednesday , Thursday , Friday, Saturday and Sunday!!!!! Not sure where it is?, its near Hall road.... you know near Meadow way.... oh come on its near Famona Road...... yeah that's it! just round the corner from Shelley Crossleys florist shop! My source said I don't mind the little **** parking outside my house but I wish he would shut that dog up!!!!!!

WHERE'S LINX

Its a brand new feature again this week as we play a new game!!!!!!! There is no prize but feel free to play, have you heard of 'Where's Wally' well it's even better!!! Its Where's Linx!!!!! Please click on the link below, can you spot him?????????

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com/

Thanks all,
Weekend sportsman over and out
(still ranked the worst dart player in the team but being pushed by Nicky Lark for the title!)

GOTTS WATCH!!!

A black BMW was seen parked outside a McDonalds in Bournemouth from 11pm to 8 am, Our sources say they have never seen so many chicken nuggets eaten in one sitting. The manager said he has ordered an extra box of sweet curry sauce incase the mystery man returns. The RSPCA have asked for witnesses as a beagle was left in the vehicle for 9 hours without water, I believe this to be a true Gotts spot!!!

POT BLACK A 9 LAKE LOTHING 3

Another top of the table clash as they had more points than us at the start of the night so we did not know what to expect. I turned up with my hamster cheeks due to having a very painful wisdom tooth extraction, Linx turned up hoping for a win as he was starting to get on a Harrod /Lark type losing streak and Fluffy just didn't turn up- Poooooofffff!!!!!! Turned out to be a comfortable win after a shakyish bit in the middle sent the scores to 3-3!!!! We had strength at the end as I was 9th man and we secured a comfortable win.

Double's 3-1

As usual I cant remember exactly what happened here apart from the score but I do recall my game so with the scores 1-1!!!!!!! oooh very tense!
Up stepped Me and Penfold against local pro Peter Snakebite Wright. They got off to a flyer opening up with 4 scores while we struggled. Snakebite was getting all too cocky and was just warming up apparently, they were down to a double in no time, Peter was still being very full of himself, in the back round me and Penfold were struggling along. It seems that once warmed up these pro's aren't all they are cracked up to be as they got to a double and could not get it. Me and Penfold had managed to struggle down to a double at this stage and guess what! We struggled then too. But as our local cocky pro was getting more and more warm at this stage he was getting further and further away from a double it was almost like watching Snatural in his joint record breaking loss run last season. In the end as they were jellying it (Yep just like Linx) they didn't ever look like getting it!!! Up stepped Penfold and slipped a sneaky little double 1 in!!!! yey winner- Leg time, A new world record 37 mins 15 seconds.

Into the singles we went, Serious was up against Former Pot Black taxi driver in Kelvin Splat Self. Serious cruised into a comfortable lead but faltered on a double and let the Big Man in , Some might say a mistake but although Splat didn't exactly float he never threw them that straight or checked out that quick when he played for us so Serious is within his rights to claim unlucky in the weekend sportsman's book!! unlucky Serious but you did look a little tired !!!!!!!!
Next up was Dirty against our local pro Snakebite, a very good game, Dirty was a little unlucky being left on tops when snakebite went out- well played mate!!!! I feel the shorter format didn't favor you as he never got warmed up coupled with the few extra drinks prevented him from cocking up his doubles for the second time in the evening as his jelly arm had disappeared!!!!!
So with the scores at 3-3 it looked a little shaky, unlike the previous week the tail wagged in Harmison type fashion!!!

Skip had put up a practice board midweek and it showed as he scored well, even with the hindrance of me shouting out mid throw and just missed a 14 darter before going out next throw.

Daddy Smash took victory still claiming he didn't say he was going out last week!!!!!?????hhhh mmmmmmm!!!!!!!! Anyway he won and then went straight away as he had to go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you sure you just weren't just saying that to fool us but instead had to get home for a bit of how to look good naked!!???

Linx was boring and broke his losing streak. boooorrriIIIIIIIIIIInnnnggggg, Snatural played pretty decent as his form continues to improve, and Penfold took another victory. Bardy was his normal Power like self and cruised to a win, well played guys yet another tough game next week- keep up the practice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No late night action in OB this week as we stayed in the Lake Lothing until 1 am and got a big fat whooping off Penfold at pool!!!!!!!!!! Dirty stayed out as Fluffy wasn't there and got chatted up by some 60 year olds. All good fun and the bonus was that we got a lift home off Splat free cabs! Winner... anyone seen Smasher? naa mate he has gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOKE CORNER

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second longblack hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.The woman was so curious that she respectfullyapproached the woman walking the dog and said,"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is abad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this.Whose funeral is it?""My husband's.""What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women."Can I borrow the dog?""Get in line."

GOTTS WATCH

1. At 6am on Monday a black BMW was spotted dropping off a very plump looking blonde haired woman in the short stay area of Heathrow airport!!!!!!! My source was a distance away but he swears they were wearing matching Callaway jumpers, I believe this could be a true Gotts spot!!!
2. A man was seen wearing dark glasses and drinking a protein shake while parked up in a black BMW around 5pm on Wednesday. I could not be sure if this was a true Gotts spot I asked further questions to verify the location! Beaumont Road, you may know it, its near Famona Road and Meadow Way. Still not sure?!! Ill make it easier for you, Its just round the corner from Shelley Crossley's Florist shop!!! yep this is a true GOTTS SPOT!!!!

THE MADE UP NEWS!

1. Lincoln loses 12 pounds on a diet of cider and ice lollies!
2. Billy Bungle Bennet lets go of his darts in under 2 minutes 25 seconds!
3. Gavin Chillingworth spends some money!!!!!
4. Eddie Lark is the same weight he was 4 seasons ago!
5. Serious found losing his game really enjoyable!
6. Fluffy was spotted out on a training session with his two boys at Butlins! I cant believe the buca bus turned up at the tiger club!! My sources say Ethan and Cameron were a bit shaky on their feet but handled their drink well, unfortunately dad was a let down and had to leave early before chundering on the sofa in the middle of the night.
7. Darren Gotts was spotted actually out!

Thanks guy's see you all Friday

Weekend Sportsman
( Now so bad at darts even Jnr Hook fancies his chances!)

B-TEAM REPORT

DREAM TEAM STAR MAN - THE HOSINATOR!

Hi to all you potty followers

Another week and another opportunity as we entertained the Marquis B hoping to get a few more points on the board. We didn’t play at all well the previous week and were hoping for a serious improvement.

With Glynn and Goochy on first we got off to a good solid start as they won without ever being in trouble but we were soon pegged back as Shoot-em-up and Yid went down to a quick finish. A good tidy game from Bungle and Me, with a 140 from Bill and a considerably quicker finish than last week took us back ahead before Hos and Oz were unlucky to lose the last pairs to leave us all square.

Into the singles and a storming start saw a win for Glynn (eventually) followed by the highlight of the night with Hos hitting a superb 133 finish to get us 2 games ahead. Ozzie was our third player and he seemed to grow in confidence as the game went on (probably because his opponent took 5 throws to score 100 at one point). That said his confidence was so high it was bordering on cockiness as he took 63 out with a 13 bull! A tidy game and a slow finish from Moysie secured us the point before this years in form player Bungle suffered a rare defeat to a 78 finish.

Two games left to find a win and yours truly found a pretty steady game before easing off the gas completely under 150. fortunately I had done enough by then to get the win. The legend that is Goochy tidied up the last game to give us a solid 8-4 win and a much better overall performance than the previous week.

We are managing to rack up a few points and hoping for a good performance this week when we visit the Queens Head for what should be a good close match

See you all soon

Quiff

B-TEAM REPORT

Hi guys

Sorry its been a bit quiet for a couple of weeks but unfortunately I missed the battling home win against the Kevill Arms and this was followed by a trouncing away at the home guard. Some positives to take from the latter was generally quite good play and the marvellous “that’s the best weve played all season” comment from their captain. Thanks Andy!

Anyway, to bring us up to date, last Friday saw us away at the factory arms. An interesting and fun night and I reckon there was only one team in the entire league that could have played worse than us, and that was the factory!

A slow start saw Oz and Hos win and Shoot em up and the Midnight Cowboy lose. Then the fun really started with Bungle and Me. Absolutely awful! You could have turned the board upside down, back to front or put it in another room and I would still have hit at least two fives out of every three darts. The others weren’t much better and the game headed unerringly towards its only conclusion – a double one marathon. After several goes each, time being called, Wally growing a beard and everyone lamenting the rules that do not permit bringing a female sub on to hit for you I eventually managed to bag it! 2-1 up and it felt like we had been playing for hours! I hope they never bring best of three in or our games will all be weekends away. Gooch and Glyn (starting to feel he needs a nickname) then lost against probably their best pair to leave it all square.

In to the singles and win for Goochy followed by yet more fives from yours truly, poor finishing from my opponent and a quick nick and we were two ahead. Hang on, ive got two wins on the board so whats all the fuss about. I guess its true what they say, form is temporary, class is permanent and crap seems to go on forever! Glyn then lost to a good finish and Dave also went down – back to level at 4-4. Paul survived a slow (understatement) start to win and Bungle then struggled to get down the board until he seemed to be suddenly toughed by God or something and hit 132 followed by a 62 finish to win from nowhere. Hos went on next and got us the win, which was a good job as Ozzie on last bottled it with three scores of 26 once he got under 200.
Still a good win away and more points on the board. If we can win playing like that anything can happen if we start playing well

More news to follow - watch this space

Quiff

POT BLACK A 6 EX SERVICEMAN'S HG 6 (Linx jellied it)

A nice picture!! just one of the ones me and Chilly gained after chatting to a couple of young girls at the train station!! Can't show you the others, I didn't notice myself but Chilly really liked her personalit.....ies, the PB does not stand for Peter Baker by the way.

Well onto this week, I wasn't going to do a blog but then decided it was unfair on those people in the team who can actually play darts!!!!!!!!! so guys after last weeks disaster against the mercenaries of Man City- oops sorry I mean the Ole Frank the league's long established big guns met at the Pot Black Club.
To say we were a wee bit better than last week would be an understatement!!!!!

Doubles (did I mention Linx jellied it)

Linx and George lost Linx 125

Peek and Hook won Hooky 180, Peek 140

Skip and Bardy lost Bardy 102st and 140

Spring and Ed won Spring 140

Singles( did i mention Linx jellied it)

Hooky won 180,134,108 17dg

Skip won no high scores!! checked out 80 for a bit of a birthday

Bardy won

Then it went wrong

Spring lost to Champs 16dg Spring 135

George lost to Monsters 19dg

Peek won to get the draw Peek 140

you didn't even bother to try and win! Well I did try, in my defense it was hard to see as I bagged a whole 22 points! Flash 17 dart game!

Linx pooped it on last. Jelly machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the shortened version but the computer crashed twice, I cant write it all out a 3rd time so the above is courtesy of Skip.

In summary a really good game of darts with all winners for both teams registering really good legs of darts, great performances by Serious and Dirty Peek in both of their games and unfortunate we did not get the win! From 5-2 they played 3 goood games of 16,19 and 17 darts to go 6-5.

It all went down to the last game with Linx on I cant even remember who he played now! but there were glimpses of brown dripping out of the bottom of his jeans as he missed double 10 , AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! unlucky mate we will get em next time!

Cheers boys up the bar we toddled for a mammoth game of spoof! Briiillliiiaaanntt, out first to round off a cracking night for myself!! Ill try liar dice, nope lost all them too god I had a cracker of a night.

Just about to leave, shall we go out? we were very unsure what to do, a smallish guy by the name of Smasher is straight in, Ill go out! ok lets go, that makes our minds up we will go! Myself , Linx and Slong get out of the car outside Broadview the Chilly drives off. Where Smash? oh he has gone home cheers mate!!!!!!!!!

Gotts Watch

Seems a very popular feature and getting many potential sightings, some are hoaxes as people try to jump on the bandwagon but I know lesser spotted Gotts when I see one and I can whittle out the genuine ones.

1. A man wearing a Ping T-shirt and jeans ripped around the bottom was seen leaving a tanning centre is Gorleston (10 am Monday) I believe this was a true Gotts spot.
2. A short spiky haired man with an orange fake tan face was reported to have booked a chest wax in a local beauty parlour (11 am Tuesday) I believe this to be a genuine Gotts spot.
3. A man was reported to be seen walking a very smelly dog near the garage just opposite the Red House Pub and coming away from Shelley Crossley's florist shop (3.03 pm Wednesday). Must be a Gotts spotting!!!!
4. A black car was seen driving up The Street in Carlton at extreme ( oh that's a funny word!!!) pace!!! not far from the Red House Pub, near Les Whall's house and quite near to Shelley Crossley's florist shop! ( 11pm- He doesn't drink so ill assume he didn't go in the pub, but I have to say a strange time to be buying flowers!!!) Was this the DG?!?!

Joke Corner

Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other two asked how. She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy". The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".

Tip of the week.

If you are having you're wisdom teeth out and they ask you if you want local or general- I would advise general and so would my dentist after he lost his fingers this week!!!!!!!!!

Weekend Sportsman over and out
(By the way did i tell you what happened in Linxs game? he jellied it!!!!!)

POT BLACK A VS OLE FRANK

Well what can I say!!!?? a 9-3 defeat in what has been described by many as our worst performance ever!!! It started badly and never got any better!!
the highlights are below;
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

as you can see there wasn't any.

The first double set the tone for the night as Serious and Dirty came down the board like Phil Taylor and James Wade and ended up on double one as they doubled out like Nicky Lark!!!! Our chins hit the floor and the rest of the night followed in a similar vein! The next two doubles lost as Stinky, Penfold, Skip and Snatural could not turn it around. Up stepped the dynamic duo of Smasher and PH, Ph had the usual we are losing cob on and declared victory was inevitable for him- nope played crap and lost 4-0 down briiiiilllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiant!!!!

Into the singles and it did improve greatly, Skip was the first to register a victory as did Smasher and someone else who I cant remember ( sorry who ever it was!) generally there is not a lot to say and its fair to say we lost all the close as well as all the games which weren't.

Home guard next week, surely we cant play that bad again?! but who knows!

Anyway, the good news was that Trev Hook put an appearance in and we took on Gary The Mouth Flatt and Ryan the mouth Lincoln in what could on be described as lambs to the slaughter table bowls!! well that's what was being shouted out!! nope Myself and Trev won- apparently I was lucky??!!! who cares...ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Off to Broadview we toddled, no appearance this week from Penfold and Dirty but the stalwarts put some funds in the till, as usual we had no plans to go there but it ended up going really well!!!!
Jager bomb anyone?! briiiiillllllliiiiiiiiant work was soooooo fun!

GOTT'S WATCH

There has been few potential sightings this week !!
I have had reports that a smallish gent has been seen coming out of Shelley Crossley's florist shop on Wednesday at 1030.
Another person reported seeing a spiky haired man with a limp coming out of Shelley Crossley's florist shop on Thursday at 1601.
In another incident a Black BMW with a disabled badge was spotted parked outside the red house just adjacent to Shelley Crossley's florist shop.

JOKE CORNER

A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”.