POT BLACK A VS POT BLACK B

Well guys the derby match!!!!! Its not quite Rangers versus Celtic but with bragging rights on the line a very close encounter saw the A come out on top 7-5. With Skip away Linx took on the rein's!!!!!

Doubles

2-2

First up Fluff and Smasher, now Fluff was floating before the game hitting ton after ton after 140. Then the words that send him into stutter mode were said. GAME ON!!!!!!!! Now he cant let go! Brrriiilliiiaannnttt. He made Bungle look like a speed demon in this encounter and despite a 135 from Smasher a solid performance from Atko led the B team to a 1-0 lead.
Next up the serious combo and they don't let us down. 1-1
Stinky and Snatural up next and into a 2-1 lead we go.
Last up Me and Penfold can we secure a 3-1 lead in the doubles? Nope is the answer.... we take a quarter of a year to get away and are never in it. A solid performance from the B boys of Jedward (180) and Glynn and the head start is far too much to overcome.

Singles

First singles, yep its Serious and he plays very serious!! A great game played by Glynn but Hook comes out on top. Speaking of serious I missed out on a revelation the previous week. Smasher is all confident and showing off about his mighty grip!!!! Yeah check him out!!! Just like Whitlock!! Serious is no follower and he sets his own trends. You think that's good I shower in a latex glove on a Friday!!!!!!!!!! oooohhh aren't you cool!!! I have heard Taylor tried it this week!!!!!!
The stutter gun is up next (Fluff) at 3-2 and I get sent to the bar because I'm giving technical advice before the game so I'm not sure what happened. I do know that I had time for 3 pints. But!!!! he did win 4-2!!!!!!!!!!!
Just when we think we are feeling comfortable we lose the next 2 as solid games from Oz 100,100,100 78 fin when he was looking down and out and Atko, took care of Dirty and Smasher.
Linx is up next and a solid performance takes him to victory against the silver fox Moyseee. (I cant believe I don't abuse Moyseee on here more, I think its time I started!!!)
Next up me, yep briillliiaanntttt for the second time tonight I get away 350 behind and am not really in it until Shaun Hos mucks about on a double. I get down to 80 and think I may get a little bit of fortune. Big 1 first dart great, Shaun pops out next throw and I get a much deserved loss!
Its getting extremely tight at 5-5 and its Snatural on!!!!! ewwww.... but alas Smasher's dad shows his son how its done and guarantee's us a point.
So with the score at 6-5 up last was Penfold against former Pot Black A legend, yep the Legend!!! It was a tense battle as both players struggled, Legend took forever to start and Penfold didn't exactly score like the train! just as the Legend looked like catching up and sneaking a draw for the B boys but Penfold snuck his dart into the double and boooommmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! a 7-5 win!!!! pheeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

Cheers guy's an enjoyable night!!!

Where's Linx

http://www.whereslinx.blogspot.com/

Can you see him????

Penfold it Yourself

Penfold and his brother were working on the house. Penfold's mate who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. Penfold, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" His mate explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!" Penfold got completely pissed off and yelled, "You MORON!!! The nails pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!!"

Joke corner

Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

Tip of the week

Well guys its the return of an early season feature, yep it's PH's tip of the week. Ever thought eww its a bit cold I wish I could park closer, eww its raining I wish I could park closer. I'm just plain lazy I wish I could park closer! Well guys I have tested it and you can. Myself and Serious show up to the Telecoms for the Chairman's Cup and there isn't a parking space in sight. Don't worry Serious there isn't any traffic wardens about in the day let alone at night we will just stick it here it will be fine. Well it seems that it in fact cost's £30 to park in that particular spot! oh what luck. My tip of the week is!! Park within the restrictions Laziness doesn't pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers guys

weekend sportsman

over and out.

B-TEAM REPORT

Hi guys

An away trip to the Ole Frank this week and we were all wondering if they were going to do to us what they did to the A-Team and drag a couple of ringers (Joey Payne and Peter Birkett) in for only the second time this year. Fortunately for us this was not the case but it was still a tough match. An excellent start saw us go 3-0 up before they won the last doubles against Clint and Kingy making a rare appearance. This sparked a revival and they won the first three singles, albeit courtesy of their best three players, to put us 4-3 down. A good run then took us to 6-5 up and with their last player against Goochy having never played in the league before, they had virtually given up. Unfortunately our Legend couldn’t stay with the guy who held his nerve and hit a treble 20 every throw! Cant complain though, another good point away from home.

The theme for this week would appear to be travel, involving several of the potty favourites.

Traveller 1 – Moysie

When I say traveller it was more like vanisher. With the usual dilemma on a Friday away game, has he got on the stagecoach with Shoot em up and Clint or is he going to appear at the club 3 seconds before the cab leaves, we phoned a taxi in the hope he was going to be at the Ole Frank, only to arrive to find he wasn’t and no one had heard from him. Hope you’re ok Steve?

Traveller 2 – Yiddo

Again traveller might not be the right word. Another away game and unfortunately Steve couldn’t make it. We realize that his passport might have expired which might explain his inability to go to Kessingland but it now appears he can’t get a visa for anywhere west of Lowestoft College. We should be ok next week as we are at home and his temporary pass to cross the river is still valid.

Traveller 3 – Bungle

A true traveller in every sense of the word. Stories of Billy twelve cabs are now well known throughout the land but on Friday he put in some miles for the cause. Ignoring the fact that the pub we were playing at was only half a mile away, he came all the way to the Pot Black, just to go all the way back again. Not content with this, after the match he got a cab back to the club just to stay for two minutes and get a taxi back again! Strange behaviour you may think although it was apparently because he had left his jacket in the pub and had nothing to do with me challenging him to a game of bowls! [Thankfully Bungle re-located his coat after Mrs Hunt of 10 Carnoustie Drive pointed him in the direction of the pub rather than her living room!!!!]

Traveller 4 – Wally

Now we are getting into the serious professionals. Wally went away on holiday quite some time ago and hasn’t been seen for weeks. We are not sure when he is due back but rumours are starting to circulate that he has been kidnapped by a group of Somalian pirates with relatives in Norfolk. Apparently he will be released if he agrees to wear a yellow and green shirt and sing “on the ball city” for a propaganda video. Wally has apparently held out so far saying he would die first but it might be worth keeping an eye out on you tube.

Traveller 5 – Kingy

Saving the best for last, Darren is THE king when it comes to travel. Having spent years away in the Middle East for work, he has flown more than ever since the job finished. Every time he comes home he can’t wait to get away again. He has visited more countries than swine flu! No-one has yet checked the photographs or looked into the DNA but there is a rumour going around that Michael Palin and Judith Chalmers had a secret love child that may have inherited the family wanderlust. You will notice that whenever you see Darren he always seems to be happy although this is probably not surprising for someone who has collected more air-miles than Captain Kirk. Having said that, his last flight was a bit traumatic as the captain announced that one of the engines had died but assured the passengers that the plane could fly perfectly on three engines but they would be an hour late arriving in England. A bit later he announced that a second engine had failed but there was still nothing to worry about although they would be even longer in the air and would land 2 hours late. Shortly after this, the captain came back on again to say a third engine had failed but the plane could fly perfectly well on one although they would now be four hours late arriving. At this point Darren started to get worried and turned to the person sitting next to him and said “I hope to God the fourth engine doesn’t fail or we’ll be up here all day”.

Not much travel next week we’re at the Potty playing the A team.
All the best
Quiff

Pot Black A vs Kevill Arms

An opportunity to increase our legs difference but no one was feeling confident with Lark and Harrod in the singles but alas no a 12-0 victory came our way!!!!!!!!! In all truth the only person who looked like losing was me but in a battle of attrition I checked out double 1 after mucking around at the end for the usual 8 throws!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah well a win is a win. Linx turned up because it wasn't a big game and Fluff had his darts out!!! the important news is he managed to let go of them!! how long will that last? text me with replies, ill have it in minutes not days please.

THE GAME

Action pretty limited as everyone held up well under the pressure of the Chesney!!!!!!!!
With the exception of myself everyone cruised to wins. Serious was able to play as he had the night off due to already doing 80 hours for the week. Only absence was Bardy who was not available for selection. This let the Snatural in for a singles and he did not disappoint his fans (Rory was well excited!!!!!) as he took a victory. Smasher continued his improving form and when questioned about why he has improved in recent weeks he recalls a random meeting with the Wizard Simon Whitlock who put him onto the grip of champions, MIGHTY GRIP!!!!!! this is no ordinary grip and Smasher is now looking like a darting god! did you know its suitable for rock climbing also!!!!! Skip continues to improve and popped in another sub 18 dart leg, his form is making our team look a hell of a lot stronger lets hope it continues. Linx was not under any pressure so took a comfortable victory and Dirty didn't get a cob on this week so he also won! there are no reports from Penfolds game as everyone nodded off- god he throws quick!!!!!!!!!! and Serious well he doesn't really like losing!!!!

GOTTS WATCH

After weeks of speculation the worlds most talked about question is answered, Gotts is alive. you can see with your own eyes the Gotts is still with us!!!! There was no spotting of the great man out and about this week but I believed by the look of his picture he had been holed up in the gym for at least a week solid!!! I investigated and visited the gym in question, I was correct !! The Gotts had gone a week long gym session with the hope of winning the upcoming Mr. Lowestoft competition. I believe he is in a good position to win this year but I suggest that he takes his driving license for identification to avoid the debacle of the 2009 comp. The pre comp favorite the Gotts was not allowed to participate due to an inability to prove his age. It was open to over 16's only!!!!
Please take your time to mull over this pic as it also provides the answer to the 2nd most asked question on the planet!!! How did the world begin? .......nope, is there life on another planet ....nope.
Has Gotts got an outy or an inny???? yep folks as you can see he has an outy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thousands will sleep better now.

WHERE'S LINX

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com/

CAN YOU SEE HIM?

PENFOLD IT YOURSELF

Penfold popped down to B&Q on Sunday to get a new wardrobe. What a result for the DIY legend he finds one which is self assembly!!!!!!!!! this will impress the missus he thinks!!! takes it home feeling all clever he takes it out of the box and stands and waits, an hour later he is still standing there, the missus pops up to see how he is getting on. Penfold Why haven't you started? I hope you haven't been on scrabble again? I'm taking it back he says, I got this one because it was self assembly, I've stood here an hour and it hasn't done a thing yet!!!!!!

JOKE CORNER

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

BUNGLES PROMOTION DREAM

Bungle is once again all over this, a couple of poor results have taken town down the league and its looking like a good run of form will be needed. Never fear guys Bungle knows exactly how we will get back into contention. If Keano plays John Wark in the holding midfield role that will relieve Martin Reuser of his defenive responsibilities and enable him to provide Chris Kiwomya and Darren Bent with the ammunition they need to fire in the goals for town. But Bungle where does that leave Adrian Paz?? on the bench sitting next to Ulrich le Pen you ttttwwwww******************************ttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!! oh sorry cheers Bungle!!!!!

Cheers guys
Weekend Sportsman over and out
( ps hope you feel better soon Laura Lincoln)
(pps I bet you look good in a nurses' outfit Linx)

Pot Black A Vs Hearts of Oak (something or other)

Right guys its blog time so get yourself a cup of tea and tell the missus your not available for chores for the next 10 minutes, where shall we start???

well Ill begin with Thursday popped up the captains to support Dirty, unfortunately drew Phil the power Honeyman second round and took an early bath!!! He said his concentration was ruined as he was very concerned about his partner in crime Penfold. Penfold was stranded on an A road between Diss and home, he had the most terrible problem with his car he needed to change his tyre but it was too dark!!!!!!!!!! awwwwwwwwww how terrible!!!!!!!!! paaaaaaaaa. As you had probably guessed he is a pen pusher for a living and the only thing he can operate in the dark is a calculator with flash light so he had to call for back up. As you can see by the picture they quickly arrived and Penfold was saved!!!!!!!!!!!



Where's Linx

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com

Can you see him?

Joke corner

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

Penfold It Yourself

Our very own practical genius Penfold is here to give us tips on DIY as tyre changing is not his only natural talent!!!!

Penfold was in B&Q the other day when this bloke in an orange overall comes up to him and says "Do you want decking sir?" Well Penfold thought it was best to get the first punch in! He is now banned for 12 months!!!!!!

Gotts Watch

Chris, 19 from Norwich reported seeing a shot guy with a limp strolling through Norwich town centre on Saturday afternoon at 1400 hours. He said the guy in question looked liked he had lego hair and was wearing a T shirt at 3 sizes to small for him. He added why he was wearing a dad of the year badge I don't know, the little boy ran off and the guy didn't notice for 5 minutes as he was tensing in the body shop window!!!!!!!!!!

The game

Sorry guys not much bout the game this week as ive been away and didn't get a chance to get the scores off Skip. Nicky lark put in a decent performance for a change in his only game of the night. I played my usual rubbish, it is getting a wee bit boring now. We registered 2 maximums on the night as we cruised to victory. Dirty threw a bit of a cob. Im sure he will be back on form this week and skip checked out a nice little 100+ finish as his opponent thought he wouldn't go for a double and that he would set it up sweet!!

Well we didn't go back to the club this week as we had to go go to the ex servicemans and take the p*** out of Honeyman for getting his 2nd Chesney in 3 weeks. We watched a bit of WWF, which can I add everyone knew the names of the wrestlers (dont watch it my a**e). We then popped off for a couple of swiftys over in Broadview. I would like to thank everyone for shoving ice down my back, very much appreciated !!! Can you do it when im talking to fat ugly girls next time not when they actually look ok! I then get left in broadview but notice just in time to decline an offer to Hush and meet up with every one in flames. Oh hello!!!!!!! get talking to some other bird and as there is no ice available the weapon of choice is a tomato!!!!!!!!!! briiilliiaannttt!!!!!!! cheers guys.

I rip the handle off the taxi door on the way back and go to sleep after an unsuccessful evening.

B-TEAM REPORT

After a reasonable run of results we had a tough game last Friday against the Hearts of Oak B. Always a difficult game made much harder by trying too hard to win games to stop them bloody singing!

Looking at their team sheet, we knew it was going to be a tough night particularly with them strengthened (???) by an old Potty favourite in Jarvo.

Anyway we needed to kick off and fight off the songs (maybe we should have some for ourselves, just a thought, Naaaaaa) and see if we could keep our run of good results going.

First on in the doubles was Ozzie (aka magoo) partnered with Yiddo (di di de de de di di de de de di di de de de di di di OY!) who were behind for most of the game until two tons and a quick finish saw them snatch a great win. Glynn and Hos were on next and we knew Shawn was going to be in trouble as soon as we spotted the curtains pulled back that usually protect the board. I am not sure whether he was quaking with fear or building up his anger but there were a few strong glances aimed at the aforementioned soft furnishings. Boy were they going to get it if things didn’t go right. Not sure whether this was a distraction or whether it was Paul Philips 2 140’s but we were soon back to level at 1-1. Moysie then tried hard to carry a slightly-lacking-in-confidence Shoot em up but despite his best efforts we lost the game and went behind. It seems a long time since we have been able to revel in the joy of the famous Stridey pirouette into a handshake. Looking forward to that coming back. Fortunately the last pair struggled to start making it fairly comfortable for yours truly and Bungle to level it. A good game from the legend that is Goochy was followed by a struggle for Bill and a tame game from Moysie, with a 180 from, yes you guessed it, Jarvo being the telling throw to put us 4-3 down. Good back to back wins from Me and Clint were followed by Glynn on seventh to get us the 6 games to secure a point. In between this Hos had an excellent chance but couldn’t finish and Ozzie on last had the same problem.

They were singing at the end celebrating the draw. Okay we couldn’t stop them but it was quite satisfying to hear that they were happier with the draw than we were. This was much better from us, a good performance and better darts than we had been playing and another good point on the board.

By the way, if any of you are concerned I can assure you that we managed to placate Shawn with the usual medication, lager, and no curtains were harmed during this performance!

This week we had another tough game in prospect with the visit of the football club which has probably been our most consistent tight match for years. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we play it is never more than 7-5 one way or the other with a draw being the most likely outcome. With 10 players to choose from team selection was a bit tricky and the old squad rotation had to come into play with Shawn sitting out the doubles. Having said that I seem to be getting volunteers not to play and I took Clint up on his kind offer due to the fact that we know the doubles are far too early for him.

I left Ozzie and Yid together but unfortunately they couldn’t repeat the heroics of last week and were always behind. Now Ozzie’s inability to see his hand in front of his face has been well documented but it was Clint who had the first magoo moment, not realising that they had hit the finishing double. They had, 0-1. Not to be outdone by Clint, Ozzie took the chalks for Shoot em up and the legend and, true to form, managed a short sighted moment when asked what bed a dart was in. Why bother asking, he hasn’t got a clue! When will you all learn! That aside, they played a good game and got us back level. It was particularly pleasing to see Dave feeling more comfortable with his throw and hitting the finishing double, only to walk gently straight to the board. Where was the spin? Is he unwell? I am sure this will restore his confidence and normal service will be resumed shortly. A tough game for Bungle and me against neil and percy but a very good game, straight in straight out and with some tidy scoring on the way. A new pairing on last with Glynn and Moysie which looked exciting on paper, but only on paper. A bit of a struggle but they came through with hard work to take us 3-1 up. A magoo moment from me cheering one of Moysie’s darts that wasn’t in was followed by more of the same from Glynn and Bungle. This is starting to get worrying, I didn’t realise myopia was contagious but us old farts seem to be on the verge of an epidemic!

They pulled the next one back thanks to a resurgent Barry Cook hitting three tons to beat Moysie, before the Legend, who always seemed in control, lost to an excellent 108 bull finish. Bungle was the next to go under and we were 4-3 down. In the next game I was up against percy and knew it was going to be tough but I wasn’t quite prepared for such a bizarre game. He went off like a train, 120 start, 134, 135 to leave him only wanting 112 with me languishing on 348 and only lacking a convenient towel to throw in. A 140 made it look respectable and a minor wobble from perc only scoring 24 was followed by a 125 from me. Somehow I was back in it. Another slight wobble and he didn’t leave a double leaving me 3 darts at 83 which I managed to bugger up. He missed his 52 finish and I took out 48 to snatch a ridiculous victory. I apologise for the bit of indulgence as I do not like going on about my own games but this one really was bizarre and we were back to level. Hos then got us in front after another group short sighted moment – he was the only one in the pub who realised he had hit the double. Ozzie then had an excellent chance to secure the draw and played superb with three tons but unfortunately the old finishing demons struck again and he let it slip. 5-5 with two games left and it was left to Glynn to secure us the draw with a strong second half to his game. All down to the last game of the night and who would you want going on late? Yep, Clint was comfortably in his time zone and secured us a fine 7-5 win. Another good match and we are pleased with our form at the moment.
Conversation of the week

Now some of you may have noticed that themes of conversation tend to repeat themselves a little bit each week with one of the main subjects being football, not surprising with the much publicised pundit and expert (ex means has been, spurt is a drip under pressure) Bungle, in our team. Whilst most of us are keen and able to contribute to these conversations, we appreciate that it may not appeal to everyone. Most noticeably, our favourite legend, Goochy, is not a particular fan of our national sport and prefers to follow oversized yanks in crash helmets and three tons of body armour throwing an odd shaped object that can’t even really be called a ball around a field. Now we like to give due consideration to all and felt it was only fair that we did some research in order that dear old Trev could feel included talking about his beloved packers who had a good 9-0 away win last time out (see, I told you we had been researching). You should have seen his little face light up as he walked in to find me, Hos bros and Bungle discussing the game, tactics and name dropping. Referring to the tactics of the coach, Mike McCarthy (had to think of Wolves manager Mick to remember that one) the release of players like Montgomery (think of Colin, you get the idea by now) and the skills of players like Donald (the Duck) Driver (more golf) Trev thought he had died and gone to heaven. At this point we wondered if any more players were named after golf clubs and Ready suggested Reg Wedge. We think he was kidding but if that is not someones name it really should be. We might have got a bit confused with some of the names (Al Habsi or something equally terrorist sounding and Clay Pigeon) but we certainly made the effort. Billy in particular deserves special praise for attempting to fully understand the finer points of the game although he did seem to get a
bit confused when thinking about being taken from behind because he was worried about his tight end. Apparently he would have felt more comfortable if he had a wide receiver! Anyway, let it not be said that we are not prepared to go out of our way to ensure everyone is happy in the b team.

Away next week to the Ole Frank, I’ll see you soon.

Atko.

POT BLACK A VS EX SERVICEMAN'S

(NOT SURE OF THE LETTER BUT ITS NOT HG)

Hi all another week and another debacle in the season of PH and Nicky Lark.
The score was 8-4 Me and Snatural lost a doubles and we both lost our singles so that's 3 but to be fair they were already lost so that means the other loser is technically a CHESNEY!!!! yep I make the rules!!!!!!!!
congratulations to GAVIN DIRTY PEEK for getting a chesney on friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be fair there's not an awful lot to say other than that and the scores are below. Skip continued his improving form and popped in a maximum and a 17 dart game. Penfold hit a couple of high scores sandwiching in a massive score of 13 in between , very consistent Penfold!!!!!!
Oh there was one moment I suppose I better reluctantly put on here! needing 59 to win our doubles we were in with a sniff!!!!!!!!! up I stepped, can I save mine and Eddies bacon???? I stick my first dart smack in the middle of the bed - the 18 bed, I switch my attention to double top because clearly 59 subtract 18 is 40 ooooooooohhhh just on the wire- BRRRIIIILLLIIIIAAANNNTT. I cant even go for the right finish now!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR F*** SAKE.

other things to report are that LINX didn't show up, he saw the letters ex ser.... and did a runner as he thought it was a big game!!!!!!!!!!
Fluff drove as he was a pooooffffffff
Smasher did not leave anyone on the curb this week.
Chilly didnt turn up in case he spent money.

Skip and Bardy won - Bardy 140
me and Eddie lost
Penfold and Smasher won - Penfold 125,140
Peek and Hook won - Peek 125, Hook 140

Serious won
I lost
Skip won - 180 17 darter!
Smash won - 125
Eddie lost
Penfold won
Peek lost
Bardy won - 121

I have to talk about last weeks convo as Eddie The Stig Lark undertook his driving lessons due to driving at excessive speed. Eddie was amazed that firstly he had to be on time for this event- Cant believe it!!!!! He thought he would be surrounded by young whipper snappers in order to make himself feel younger but alas no, It was just a group of guys having mid life crisis's thinking they are storming round in their Ford Capri's. Anyway he has now been taught how to check his Speedo and apparently he is fit to return to society.

Well what's next on the agenda? oh yeah Gavin Dirty Peek....... not since Bardy achieved this exceptional feat have I heard of someone being sick on the super league bus, one Jager bomb and the boy is gone. So ill the next day he had to keep running to the van to be sick he must be the worst carpet fitter ever!!! chundering all over the thing as he is putting it down, What a way to christen the new carpet!.

Gotts Watch

A black BMW had been spotted driving away from many incidence of peeping toms this week.
On Wednesday Gemma Raven explained how she was getting ready for a night out when she heard heavy breathing outside her bedroom window, she screamed but her father got outside just in time to see a black BMW with a baby on board sticker in the back. Gotts spot? unsure.

The second lady Petula from Beaumont Road also heard heavy groaning outside the window as she showered and called the police- you know Beaumont road, just up from Meadow way......... Right near Shelleys florist shop!!!! Anyway no official sighting was confirmed but a ping golf glove was found near the scene of the crime.

Daphne 81years old from Short Lane said she was sure a dog walker was pointing binoculars up at her window as she dressed for her bowls match!!!!!!!! Short Lane? Its along The Street you know Just up from The Red house......you know just round the corner from Shelley's florist shop. The event was reported to the police and there is now heavy community support officer presence in the area. Anyway I was unsure if these were true Gotts spots and the Gotts would have got away with it but he had to go one step to far. He had to request them as friends on facebook!!!!!!!!! FFS!!!! these were in fact true Gotts spots.

Where's Linx

http://whereslinx.blogspot.com/

can you spot him?

Joke corner

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought.

It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free, having fun and nibbling at the lush grass.

Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?""Yes. Come and join us," they cried.

Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good, unlike his tasteless food he grew up with. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."

This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?""You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full.

"Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it." Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys.

"That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here.""I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette."

Bungle's promotion dream

Coming soon a brand new feature, Bungle Bennet talks us through ITFC's promotion journey. This guys is the ultimate optimist, he can look at any league table and see and almost elementary route for The Super Blues to gain certain promotion. For the first time this guy's unbelievable knowledge gets published!!!!!!!!!!! join us next week for his first comment.
Just a heads up the quote from Bungle the believer this week '3 wins in a row and we will be up to third' oh he knows his stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekend Sportsman
Over and out
(Still dreaming it wasn't a flash in the pan!!!!! I will play well this week I hope!)